|Reviews for Orange juice and pumpkins|
| Yay chapter 1 . 4/14/2016
so cuteeeeeeee! Like how I imagine Naru and Kiri will reacted!
| TheTrulyBeautifulOne chapter 1 . 3/13/2016
This was really good, especially for a first fanfic. You captured the characters beautifully; Narumi shouting with Kiri being her totally indifferent self. I haven't seen anyone else who got Narumi as in-character as you have. Bravo/a!
| youshouldn'tneedtoknow chapter 1 . 6/20/2013
| Cherushiwrites chapter 1 . 5/17/2013
"Hey, this is your daddy talking to you. He's a genius you know." ABSOLUTELY PERFECT! XD
| Nella Hyuga chapter 1 . 5/12/2013
| AquaBluey chapter 1 . 3/27/2013
its cute. i like it!
| Cheesehead101 chapter 1 . 1/18/2013
i honestly loved this fic! I'd love it if u made more beauty pop fics, that'd be awesome! Continue writing!
| Kusami32 chapter 1 . 10/8/2012
you should write a sequel of telling everyone about her being preggers and up to having the babies (in the series she had twins one boy one girl so keep to that) it'd be funny when she tells him she's having twins
| D3ATHR0SE chapter 1 . 7/23/2012
I saw the decription and i was lik she's totally preggo :) luv ur story
| Giulietta Marescotti chapter 1 . 7/1/2012
Aw! That was so cute and sweet and very very very adorable! LOVE IT!
| lulu halulu chapter 1 . 5/19/2012
Aww! Naru-Naru's reaction was adorable! :)
| ShortieMonster chapter 1 . 4/18/2012
I love Naru...LOVE HIM! So it's sweet, and I...just love it. So cute. Good job for our first FF ever!
| Queen of the Avast Seas chapter 1 . 3/11/2012
awwwww that was cute! Though I was sure NaruNaru was gonna faint haha XD
| superhappy chapter 1 . 1/23/2012
I like it. Beauty Pop was the first managa that I ever read and this is the first BP fanfiction I have ever read. It wasn't too bad but there are some things that I'd like to address(Bear with me, I'm not trying to be mean or anything okay?)
1- In the begining, when Kiri is thinking 'How troublesome'-that should be italicized. Same for when Narumi thinks 'Stupid Kazuhiko' Italics gives a sense of past thoughts or something that is happening but not being said.
2-Details Details Details! What's Narumi's face look like as Kirin gives him the news, What is KIRI's face like as she receieves the news. What's going on in their heads,how does their body react(i,e sweating,heart pounding etc). You got some of the surface details, so try to delve deeper into their characters.
3-As I said, detail but use this in forming your paragraphs. You are using sentences and making each sentence an indivdual line. Try to not do that,it looks awkward and reminds people of looking at computer formatting screens. If you use more detail then you are able to form longer paragraphs which not only make your story look good and more inviting but also allow you to go futher into the realms of your fic.
Well,that's all I really have to give as feedback for this review. I do have one more idea though. Perhaps you could take this story futher and go through the whole ninemonths of Kiri's pregnancy adn the arrival of the child/children? It would be an intresting idea. hope I helped.(T_T i'll also PM you this review, it's an annoying habit of mine.)
| Erinlovesyou chapter 1 . 12/28/2011
it was really good u should keep writening