Reviews for Temari's Little Problem
carhartgowin chapter 10 . 10/2
i loved this whole series i would like to ask for more chapters please.
temfan2016 chapter 10 . 10/2
please write more! i love this
Loveasitis chapter 10 . 12/4/2015
Oh please can you make a second part or continue it it is so freaking good...
sandydragon chapter 2 . 9/7/2014
Those were some crazy misunderstandings. It's going to be tough for Temari to solve this mess, but I'm sure she'll manage.
sandydragon chapter 1 . 9/7/2014
This is an interesting idea. It seems odd for Temari to be so nervous, but I understand why. Her situation seems really stressful.
Cassie chapter 10 . 7/4/2013
Can u please please please please please PLEASE! Write some sort of sequel to that please! It was freaking amazing please !
Cassie chapter 6 . 7/4/2013
Don't worrie about other people's criticism this is a great story I wish I could write as good as u do but unfortunately I'm not able to expand on my ideas ;) keep up with the great wright ing
Jacky D Blade chapter 10 . 6/19/2013
Please update soon! I know its been a while since your last update but please update!
RefusedAngel chapter 10 . 5/16/2013
Wow I hope you update real soon its great, I hope temaris okay
yazaru116 chapter 10 . 4/26/2013
great story i love the plot and all please continue it.
ShanaKOC chapter 10 . 3/30/2013
Please Update, I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter :D
RememberMe-soon chapter 10 . 8/27/2012
I finally got around to reading some stories! You have an interesting take on the Yondaime Kazekage. I enjoy your story but each of your chapters seem to be rushed. I think because there is little narrative during any dialogue and even less with setting interaction. As result, the characters are sort of just talking at each other.

Mostly because there is not much focus for the point of view, I think. For the most part the focus is on Temari and her thoughts(and works) but will randomly jump toward Gaara, Kankuro, etc. While it's interesting to see, because I do enjoy those characters, it's distracting for the overall.

If you would like to use multiple pov then I would make sure there is enough content in action without reaching inside someone's head and use 'thought speech' or instead have pov work for a character in several paragraphs rather than one liners.

The only other thing I notice is the use of cliquish phase or slang like 'Fines', usually by Kankuro so far. Or maybe it's just a typo? Also, a strange placement of teasing between the siblings. Everything is done/said abruptly with little notification beforehand.

I sound like my old creative writing teacher. -_-' I don't mean to and I can clarify if you'd like. I understand most fanfictions are written in this styling. I probably notice this now because I've been trying to work out of this habit myself. I enjoy the suspense so far though and want to know if Temari will survive and if/when her relationship will be resolved with Shikamaru.

Later -
Awen Sofer chapter 10 . 8/23/2012
What a sad, tragic chapter but awesome nonetheless. Looking forward to the next one.
Awen Sofer chapter 9 . 8/23/2012
"kazekageing" - That term made me laugh.
The interaction between her and Ino was really heartwarming. It made Ino almost likable.
Poor Temari and poor, poor Gaara.
""Don't you dare die on me, you hear?"" - Awww, he's so sweet and loves his sister so much!
Daiane chapter 10 . 8/3/2012
OMG! Gaara singing? Why did I not think on this before? It must be amazing... *-*
Kankuro always makes me laugh, you know. But this chapter was perfect!
Hum, but I also think Shikamaru wouldn't take this way... I mean, Temari was all alone there, and no signs of him. It's strange.
And it's a boy! *-* One more boy in her life!
So, don't take so long for the next chapter, please!

ps: Sorry the bad english, but I'm still studing it...
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