|Reviews for Temari's Little Problem|
| Cassie chapter 10 . 7/4/2013
Can u please please please please please PLEASE! Write some sort of sequel to that please! It was freaking amazing please !
| Cassie chapter 6 . 7/4/2013
Don't worrie about other people's criticism this is a great story I wish I could write as good as u do but unfortunately I'm not able to expand on my ideas ;) keep up with the great wright ing
| Jacky D Blade chapter 10 . 6/19/2013
Please update soon! I know its been a while since your last update but please update!
| RefusedAngel chapter 10 . 5/16/2013
Wow I hope you update real soon its great, I hope temaris okay
| yazaru116 chapter 10 . 4/26/2013
great story i love the plot and all please continue it.
| ShanaKOC chapter 10 . 3/30/2013
Please Update, I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter :D
| RememberMe-soon chapter 10 . 8/27/2012
I finally got around to reading some stories! You have an interesting take on the Yondaime Kazekage. I enjoy your story but each of your chapters seem to be rushed. I think because there is little narrative during any dialogue and even less with setting interaction. As result, the characters are sort of just talking at each other.
Mostly because there is not much focus for the point of view, I think. For the most part the focus is on Temari and her thoughts(and works) but will randomly jump toward Gaara, Kankuro, etc. While it's interesting to see, because I do enjoy those characters, it's distracting for the overall.
If you would like to use multiple pov then I would make sure there is enough content in action without reaching inside someone's head and use 'thought speech' or instead have pov work for a character in several paragraphs rather than one liners.
The only other thing I notice is the use of cliquish phase or slang like 'Fines', usually by Kankuro so far. Or maybe it's just a typo? Also, a strange placement of teasing between the siblings. Everything is done/said abruptly with little notification beforehand.
I sound like my old creative writing teacher. -_-' I don't mean to and I can clarify if you'd like. I understand most fanfictions are written in this styling. I probably notice this now because I've been trying to work out of this habit myself. I enjoy the suspense so far though and want to know if Temari will survive and if/when her relationship will be resolved with Shikamaru.
| Awen Sofer chapter 10 . 8/23/2012
What a sad, tragic chapter but awesome nonetheless. Looking forward to the next one.
| Awen Sofer chapter 9 . 8/23/2012
"kazekageing" - That term made me laugh.
The interaction between her and Ino was really heartwarming. It made Ino almost likable.
Poor Temari and poor, poor Gaara.
""Don't you dare die on me, you hear?"" - Awww, he's so sweet and loves his sister so much!
| Daiane chapter 10 . 8/3/2012
OMG! Gaara singing? Why did I not think on this before? It must be amazing... *-*
Kankuro always makes me laugh, you know. But this chapter was perfect!
Hum, but I also think Shikamaru wouldn't take this way... I mean, Temari was all alone there, and no signs of him. It's strange.
And it's a boy! *-* One more boy in her life!
So, don't take so long for the next chapter, please!
ps: Sorry the bad english, but I'm still studing it...
| Awen Sofer chapter 6 . 7/24/2012
Oh, I love this little fic. It's so cute and funny. I could honestly see Gaara having a Kankuro moment and telling Temari, "Would you just shut the f*** up you demanding b*****!"
| Guest chapter 10 . 7/24/2012
Great i'm waiting for the next one!Go on!
| Awen Sofer chapter 2 . 7/4/2012
Poor Temari! Not having a woman around to talk to at such a time! I could not imagine the unbearable stress and pain. Kankuro...what a senseless dork - such a man. I wished she could have told Gaara. I think he would have at least tried to understand be supportive.
| Miko Potter chapter 10 . 4/26/2012
OMG! Haha I always thought it'd end like that with Matsuri...- I absolutely LOVED this! Poor Gaara, but it's true...men are such cowards...it was a very nice version of the story, tha ones about their parents I mean, it was beautiful, and oh can't WAIT! for the next chapter! SO HURRY!
| iFoxWhisper chapter 10 . 4/24/2012
i love it ! cant wait for chap 11!