Reviews for Hold me, Thrill me, Kiss me, Kill me
Karateka67 chapter 2 . 10/17/2017
Okay so I'm only on chapter two and I'm gritting my teeth. Constructive criticism heading your way. Feelings are by no means meant to be hurt. First, your tough-girl expert, professional, well trained main character comes off as snobbish, overbearing, and cheesy. I can't take her seriously. She's the type of girl I would reject a karate match with because she's bullying for attention. Second, your grammar is incoherent, but that's easily polished. Please beta read your work because when someone who isn't inside your head reads it, it's extremely hard to understand. I enjoy your plot and storyline. Keep writing.
Guest chapter 22 . 9/20/2016
So that's what snake eyes looks like without the mask. Huh,who knew?
Guest chapter 14 . 9/20/2016
Look out adam bastard and shadow bitch! The silent ninja is in pissed off hellfire mode!
Guest chapter 13 . 9/20/2016
That shadow girl is one seriously messed up,sick,twisted,murderous,psychotic,fruit Cakes! GIVE EM HELL CHASE!
Black Shadow Night chapter 19 . 7/5/2016
Remote Cabin?
Shadowkiller99 chapter 52 . 5/4/2016
I just love this story!
reika88 chapter 9 . 12/17/2015
Abandon All Sanity chapter 9 . 9/29/2015
So I've been re-reading this story as I had thoroughly enjoyed reading it a couple of years ago and I must say you do have a decent plot line and your character isn't the ultimate mary sue.
However I've noticed a few things that kept irking me throughout the story as I've noticed frothe reviews irked a few others. Some constructive criticism headed your way :)
Oh and know that everything I say is not meant to offend you, attack you or insult you in any way I'm simply trying to show you where you've gone wrong so it becomes even better than it is already. :)
1) you should really consider grabbing yourself a beta as it seems you have a bit of difficulty with your grammar and there are quite a few errors in the story which have really caused some confusion haha
2) I've noticed that you sometimes talk about things that you don't really know about. For example, in this chapter you went through her boxing routine while she was on the punching bag. You said "cross-hook, left jab, right jab, uppercut." that's doesn't make sense at all. Cross-hook doesn't exist? It's either a cross or a hook. A cross is what you called a "right jab" which was also incorrect. I know it's a bit nitpicky but considering she is supposed to be a super great unbelievable perfect martial artist shouldn't she know what to call this combo? I'm also a bit iffy with it because I've done mma, kickboxing, muay Thai and boxing for quite a few years nowadays this has been drilled into my head.
3) (last one :)) when your character does something that is simply passed off as habit such as rolling her eyes, it is looked into and she gets defensive about it. Like, why on earth would snake eyes stop to ask her after a massive battle why she rolls her eyes and then she gets defensive about it? Plus when he asks her where she learnt sign language she said her language teacher taught her which is perfectly valid and normal but then she goes on to think "oh no I'm giving away my past!" how? Everyone gains their skills by being taught. I doubt she stared at a mute person until she understood what they were signing and replicated it perfectly. Also with the other five lanaguages she knows she would have had to been taught!

Anyway your story is awesome and it will be fantastic after a bit of cleaning up. Looking forward to gong on to read the next few chapters. :)
AW chapter 6 . 7/4/2015
Holy shit that spelling doe.
Quinzel Rose chapter 52 . 4/6/2015
When I found out you updated I almost fell out of my chair! The update is great, please do keep on going! I love this story!
Xelako chapter 51 . 7/15/2014
Ohh the plot twist
Agent13-Carter chapter 51 . 6/25/2014
I absolutely love this book- So much drama, never a peaceful moment for our favorite spies and ninjas! I absolutely love it, and hope that you'll be able to update soon; but I completely understand- School comes first. Good Luck in college!
KarmaLynn chapter 51 . 3/3/2014
Luv Luv Luv it PLEASE UPDATE soon can't wait for the next chapter...!
Taybug98 chapter 51 . 2/9/2014
Aaaaah! Like what ? OMG!
Mrs. BYG chapter 51 . 2/6/2014
Totally non-Sarah-like. Can't wait til they figure out what's going on. Update soon!
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