|Reviews for Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Heart of the Storm|
| Talgoran chapter 6 . 5/25
- Nice violent beginning. I liked that you started the story with a bang, even if it was the fairly cliche mother fleeing with son and dying to protect him. Got a Lion King vibe, understandably.
- Glad you put in some mysteries and unanswered questions right off the bat too. Good to have something to keep people reading right?
- Why would you spoil that Blaize has poisonous claws in a freaking author's note? Have you heard of 'Show don't tell'?
- Blaize's kindness up until Chapter 4 or 5 is to the point of ridiculous cardboard cutout. He's almost a caricature. He doesn't even bat an eye when Sterling asks him to to stay while he falls asleep. I mean, you can be a generous and comforting person (er, Pokemon), and still have a reaction a weird request like that. I'm guessing they're both supposed to be somewhere between age 8 and 13, so having your young friend ask you that would definitely be strange.
- I liked the sincere and intense longing that Blaize had to join the academy that came out when Sterling offhandedly suggested it. The first real depth to his character too.
- Overall, pretty typical beginning though. Like, really typical. Tragic backstory of quiet and sad main character, found by upbeat friendly sidekick, show new kid around town, adventure hook, off we go.
- Your names are...hrm. Auriane? Blaize? I like Sterling to be fair, that's kinda clever to a degree that far surpasses Blaze with an added letter, or Aura turned into a name. I understand it's PMD and having simple names that are based off qualities or species names is totally fair. For some reason though, these names sorta made me cringe to be honest.
- You mention at one point Blaize acting against his normally humorous personality. But I think his personality is super wishywashy. At first he was unnaturally and robotically kind and hospitable. Then he jarringly became a jokester bro. He ended up around Chapter 5 as a teenager sidekick friend type character. So it's hard to say he was not acting in tune with his normal self since he lacks one.
- Team Never, especially Auriane, is super hackneyed. I don't think any Dojo needs a wizened old monk character who meditates and sees the potential of youth. Ugh.
- I'm stopping reading here for a few reasons. Heavy use of cliche, lack of meaningful plot other than allusions to Sterling's past, slow pacing, overload of preparation filler that I wish was summarized by "They hung out in the Dojo and joined the Academy and then plot occurred."
- Sorry, I know my critiques are harsh and all that. I enjoyed reading the time that I did, and I learned some things for my own fanfiction writing. Thank you for spending the time to make this cool story!
| LololololBro7265 chapter 23 . 4/15
Great story. I love it! Keep up the good work!
| blackkyurem10 chapter 23 . 10/25/2014
This is one of the best fanfics i've seen in a long time but i was wondering does he still make more of these? I sort of new to this.
| PokeSpeBanette chapter 23 . 7/17/2014
heyyyy...hope you don't mind, but i'm gonna make a story sort of based off my own game, and this story. don't worry, I won't steal the entire thing, just about the ideas with the Teams and the Academy a few other stuff. i'll give credit to this story don't worry.
| PokeSpeBanette chapter 9 . 6/18/2014
what's raze supposed to be? it never said
| Shinyninja chapter 19 . 6/10/2014
ha, she ain't even E.V. trained yet my SceptileL.V. 91 could whoop her Poke-ass bet she's only
| Flaming KitKat chapter 19 . 6/8/2014
Claret I hate you with burning passion.
| Moons shadow chapter 18 . 6/8/2014
Wait what?! What the hell! This. Is. So. Freaking. Awesome!
| Shinyninja chapter 23 . 5/29/2014
just f**king add the new chapter already
| Sai Og Sus chapter 14 . 11/2/2013
I hate homeworks which is why I didn't do it
| Sai Og Sus chapter 11 . 11/1/2013
Grounded? Thought so.
| Sai Og Sus chapter 10 . 11/1/2013
Now they sounds like cannibal...
| Sai Og Sus chapter 9 . 11/1/2013
I wish there's a design for this place..
| Sai Og Sus chapter 8 . 11/1/2013
Team Storm vs Team Victory...
Now we are in the bussiness
| Sai Og Sus chapter 7 . 11/1/2013
-Berserk mode activate-