|Reviews for War in Tokyo|
| Happerry chapter 2 . 4/10/2012
Wow, this is nice. I hope the muses bite on this again soon, because I really like it.
| Inverness chapter 2 . 3/31/2012
| Reviewer of the West chapter 2 . 3/28/2012
Interesting story, but the US militia thing seems just stupid.
It seems likely that improvised flamethrowers could be built fairly easily, with all of the gas in cars and the resources of Tokyo.
| AiSard chapter 2 . 3/4/2012
wow. really like this. angry!Ranma alone already makes it worth it but the breadth and detail of this fic is mesmerizing. I'm just sad I have no idea about Full Metal Panic, nor the origins of the dragon / Which would normally make reading a crossover fic of such seriousness somewhat slightly less enjoyable, but the level of detail, painting wider and wider swathes of the situation, and the movement and actions of seperate parties more than makes up for it by far. Really hope you update this soon some time.
| Kohey chapter 2 . 2/29/2012
huhu all out war in tokyo? sound like fun where is the next? :3
| FluffyNevyn chapter 2 . 2/20/2012
wow...really...wow. i like this one...keep it coming D
| korat5 chapter 2 . 2/17/2012
this is realy good hope you write more
| Tahari chapter 2 . 2/15/2012
You've done an extremely masterful job at seamlessly weaving together three very different anime storylines and I'm really looking forward to the next chapter.
| grappler chapter 2 . 2/14/2012
I can see how a story of this magnitude would be a challenge but I think you are doing a great job so far.
I dont think most who read this would mind a longer wait between chapters as long as your taking the time to keep the story from falling apart. So take your time planning well to continue this entertaining work of fiction.
Until then I look forward to the next chapter.
| weebee chapter 2 . 2/14/2012
This is a pretty good story so far, though I have to sort of wonder where the dragon came from. From the looks of your notes he's from one of your other fics, but I'm just judging that from the titles of the other stories mentioned.
The interraction of the military forces and such is neat, though I've got to ask, why doesn't the U.S. Military have Arm Slaves? In FMP the Arm Slave was a standard piece of technology. It was just the M9 and ARX-7 that were uber-cutting edge. The U.S. Military ran mostly M6s and a few M9s, if I remember correctly, and there were some ASs in Tokyo, stationed in Nerima, according to the festival episode of the first Anime.
Second, something that kinda irritates me about the Ranma cast here. Ranma has not killed a god. Ranma has never claimed to kill a god, and Saffron was not, never claimed to be, and was never referred to as, a god. The closest that it came to was I think the "God-king of phoenix mountain," and I can't remember if that was just in fanfics. He's a phoenix, which is pretty powerful, but other than that he was just called king or emperor.
Also, even if he were a god, the characters wouldn't be constantly bragging about it. No matter what Ranma's done in this fic, Saffron was the first time he outright killed someone, to save Akane's life. Also, it's not really his style to brag about the enemies he's beaten. Brag, sure. He's an arogant ass, but usually it's with insults against the current target, like, say, "I've met cute little piglets that could fight better than that floating idiot." and "Of course I can beat 'em, I'm the best, remember?"
Also, miner nitpick. When Ranma, Soun, Genma, Shampoo and Cologne showed up, you said two were on Ranma's left, while the other two were on his left.
Anyhow, sorry about all the nitpicking. It really is a pretty fun story and I look forward to next chapter.
| Catoust chapter 2 . 2/11/2012
It's been bugging me the entire time... There's a difference between 'Yoma' and 'Youma'
Yoma-human flesh and blood eating monsters
Youma-Human energy eating monster.
There's a difference, unless you mean that there's either a misunderstanding or both are attacking
| Sdarian chapter 2 . 2/11/2012
Last chapter had an error where Ranma crushes the general's throat like ground "brief" instead of "beef"
This chapter has "...Genma Saotome were following on his left flank, Shampoo and Cologne on his left..." which puts everyone on Ranma's left, and no one on the right.
Also you had "they've been covertly fighting this 'Dark Kingdom' covertly for" which uses covertly twice for no reason.
Those were the only things that really stood out to me. I'm looking forward to reading more of this though. Good luck!
| K0tar chapter 2 . 2/11/2012
really good.i can kind of see where a few problems are. like the food situation. this is going to really limit just how long the conflict can last, since once the food runs out, the humans will be forced to surrender or do something utterly insane in order to get that dome down.
another thing that i noticed was the power supply. where are they getting it from? does the power still go through the powerlines despite the dome or do they have portable power generators?
otherwise it's just a problem with balancing out characters. i'm not familiar with the dragon so i have no idea if he's been underpowered or overpowered right now. right now i think the power levels is ranma and company is first, the dragon second, and the sailor scouts third, and i'm not sure where full metal panic is right now, seeing as they haven't had a lot of action yet (hopefully we'll get to see some mechs stomping around next time)...of course, this is mere speculation and i'm a little biased because i haven't actually watched/read Sailor moon since i was a kid (like, kindergarten years). i've read ranma more recently though. but since ranma one hit a dark general in less than a second? yeah, i feel that ranma and co. are the most powerful in the area right now. another thing to consider is that ranma is really the only one of the three main fighters of the nerima wrecking crew (Ranma, Mousse, and Ryoga) to actually be there, the nerima fighting crew's fighting ability has been reduced drastically (Tsoun, and Genma don't fight, the Old Ghoul probably won't do much aside from defend the home base, and...i just realized, where is Mousse? i can't remember if he's there but dead or injured since i haven't heard much of him in this).
sorry if this review was just a little bit more wordy than i intended but i felt i needed to ask these things since my curiosity got the better of me and i intend to review each of your chapters when they come out.
| MissGardenia chapter 2 . 2/11/2012
Yeah, I'm appreciating what you're writing, but I also see how you can find issues continuing. The issue with multicrossovers in a story with a fair amount of combat is figuring out power levels and how to keep things interesting/balanced. For example, given this is a late series Ranma who is being taken at face value as really powerful, how to keep other people relevant.
Also, the Michigan State Militia kind of stick out in a not necessarily good way.
| Jerry Unipeg chapter 2 . 2/11/2012
GREAT CHAPTER! (*x4) You are doing great in each team.