|Reviews for In His Shoes The Rehashed Version|
| Ryan2212 chapter 1 . 7/26/2013
Hey I just want to say I love your story. You obviously got your own take on the chaacters and I think that's awesome. Please brush these other haters off and pay them no mind. I hope you continue this pairing. I am going to make sure and read your other works as well.
| ever the wordsmith chapter 3 . 12/22/2012
Please don't tell my mum I was here! It's been such a guilty pleasure...
| Batros940 chapter 3 . 5/19/2012
I liked this chapter alot both Lion-o's got what they wanted in the end. Good job.
| The New Mandalord chapter 1 . 4/24/2012
Jeez pal, get a life! You just spent x amount of time writing a review that do not make a whole lot of sense instead of just hitting the back button and finding another fic, you bottom feeding troll! This is a smut Fic. If you are looking for anything deep or meaning full, you came to the wrong place and are a trilobite for not seeing the signs! If you don't like it, PM me. Unlike you, I'm not afraid!
As for you Fuuko. I still love coming back and reading this fic. I don't know what you did, or how many flamers you sacrificed, but there is just this compassion and love you have for your work and characters that it makes it enjoyable!
| Gummy-Tank chapter 3 . 4/15/2012
I heard a lot of good things about this story. Having read it myself, I have to say that, while I can see the good points such as solid grammar and good pacing, this story made me hate every character involved. Is Lion-O seriously ok with leaving behind his brother and nephews, his family, and even his own KINGDOM? The one he fought for, the one his father died for? All because, god forbid, the hero of the tale can't feel anything less than true love for the first pretty face he ever saw? He truly couldn't stand that hard fought peace in his kingdom that he saved? He stayed in that world that wasn't his own, where his brother is dead, and nephews were never born, because he can sleep with the chick he loves more than his kingdom and has some kids he has no memories of! Jeez, if Lion-O is so willing to jump ship, he should have let Tygra rule rather than some other him he doesn't know. I find this Lion-O incredibly pathetic. Woe for his unrequited true love...
And I see that the only thing in the way of Lion-O getting his lady love was his brother so, Tygra's evil, Cheetara's emotionally damaged...That's ok with Lion-O! He didn't like his bro and sister-in-law in his kingdom very much anyway, or his kingdom for that matter, let that other Lion-O have it. Romantic love truly is the single most important thing to Lion-O! Oh, and sex, lots of nasty sex with the woman he previously only knew as his sister-in-law and mother of his nephews, nephews I thought he might have liked in the first chapter. (I do not wish to critique whatever style of erotic writing you prefer. I found it too blunt and graphic...and frequent, but it did not affect my opinion.)Not to mention Cheetara! What is she on? A serious political problem? Ex-lover war criminal on the loose? Whatever, she just can't wait to have sex with her cheating husband, but wait she knew this Lion-O wasn't her cheating husband. So she can't wait to have sex with a stranger. So much for that whole true love thing, just ask Tygra about it. Something happened to Tygra that made him turn his back on his family too! I imagine some Mumm-Ra brainwashing. So weak willed, that Tygra, I bet he didn't love Cheetara very much in the first place. Everyones' priorities are out of serious wack.
| The New Mandalord chapter 3 . 4/12/2012
Nikolia: Cheetara. I regret to inform you that Tygra is cheating on you.
Cheetara: I've had it with him! Shoot that woman in the head and Tygra in the privates.
Nikolia: I think I can do that in one shot.
| The New Mandalord chapter 2 . 4/12/2012
Nikolia (pulling out Vera): Lord Lion-O, do you want me to get rid of Tygra?
Lion-O: That won't be necessary.
| Cofi chapter 1 . 3/2/2012
ps: i actually expected that in the alternative universe Tygra would be king. :P
| Cofi chapter 3 . 3/2/2012
Hi. Cofie here. This will be long and you will probably think I am bashing your fanfiction.
No I will not bash, I will tell you what I found confusing/not well done enough, but I will tell you what I did found nice as well.
So, let's see. First of all, I am happy you corrected that 'suddenly turn into Tygra' mistake.
But sadly you didn't correct the other mistake.
Let me copy past:
""Things you have to remember as you use it." Arachnor reminded. "One, you have a choice at the end of your journey, on whether to stay in that alternate reality or not. If so, you will forget your current memories and take on that new one. Second, once you have made your choice, you cannot change it. Lastly, if you choose to return to your current reality, you will forget everything that has occurred in the alternate one.""
in short: Whatever you choose you will not remember where you are originally coming from.
Why I think this is simply baffling?
Well first of all, when arachnor offers it Lion-O, he should have said no, like instantly. Why? Because this is a contradiction. Even the character should realize that if he chooses to the take the globe and use it, nothing will change. He would forget everything that has happened. And by forgetting, that means all the things happened in vain. He would not remember the place he is coming from, he would not have memories to compare his new place to.
Reader point of view: The character will not get to be richer because he will FORGET EVERYTHING. This was one big facepalm moment for me when I first read it and I am actually surprised NOBODY pointed it out to you.
He would get the memories that the other world's Lion-O had. But that would turn him into the lion-o of that world. Why? Because he would forget the Happy-Brother-Tygra and would suddenly remember all the deeds of the Evil-Commander-Tygra.
Which would make him into the person that he switched with. Get it?
This (on its own) makes the whole fanfiction pointless. If you don't see my point then just forget it.
Now, even if you put down these facts as laws of the crystal globe, after that, …you forget them.
My other problem was the smut. I admit I jumped over every sex scene. Each and every make out scene. Not because I have something against the pairing, no. I just felt it was forced.
Your characterization of Cheetara is... well, I am not saying she shouldn't want sex, no. But I didn't see her play with her children for example, while Lion-O did that more than once, I didn't see her do anything else than being madly in love with her husband and pushing her husband to do better.
And like that, she was merely a support character without an actual personality. You could change her name to Pumyra/OC and I wouldn't see the difference in the character. I'm sorry.
And she was too smart/random. She told Lion-O she knew that he wasn't the Lion-O she had been married to in the previous seven years.
But you never actually went into this (pretty important thing) more than she figured from the fact that he gave Tygra a chance in duel. And she even mentions how EVERYTHING ELSE was the very same.
...the king could have just you know... Had a weak moment? Hit his head? Or for example could have gotten threatened with curse in case of Tygra's death. We never actually learned if Mumm-ra was alive... there are thousand and 1 thing she should have thought about rather than a dimensional switch.
The simple fact that Lion-O gave a chance to Tygra to die in battle doesn't equals that the Lion-O was a different Lion-O.
Maybe, it would have if we have actually learned all the things Tygra has committed. All those unspeakably horrible things... none of the characters actually spoke about.
Just, you know… some things. Destroying innocent elephant cities. Poison the capital's water sources... torturing Lion-O's good men like Lynxo, for example. He could have been the one to take Panthro's eye out in this universe. Or could have killed Lion-O’s and Cheetara’s first born son. But no, nothing.
But still, Cheetara figured it out! Because of this simple reason. ...yeah.
What about how he freaked out when he first saw her? That wasn’t fishy for her?
Tygra was good... but wasn't enough. I wanted more of him.
You made Tygra evil, gave beautiful words into his mouth, made him amazing and just generally badass. That was great. Awesome. Greatest thing I have yet read in TC faniction. Seriously.
But somehow it was still missing something. When Lion-o FINALLY asked what Tygra's damned trouble was with him, he listed all the same things we already know. Same things that were in the series.
I was actually hoping for something more. Something else than the kingdom and the girl. Really now, was your Tygra that cheap? He only realized that even if he killed Lion-O he wouldn't win anything, when Lion-O finally told him? It really took him THAT LONG?
I expected something more traumatic, like Cheetara and Tygra had a son who died and that made Cheetara and Tygra break up and Cheetara ending up with Lion-O after such traumatic event while Tygra blames Lion-O for the whole thing?
We are back to the question Lion-O asked from Tygra in your fic. "If you truly cared about her then you wouldn't be hurting her with all the crimes you've committed."
I would rather have put it more simply. "If you truly cared about her happiness then why didn't you just let her go and let her be happy?"
No. You evil Tygra was nothing more than a well written version of the 2011 series but lacking the plus that would actually explain what made him turn to the dark side. And that was the reason I didn’t understand why was he on the dark side at all. He lost believableness in that moment.
Ps: I just knew he survived and escaped. Because if the length of the story.
Lion-O was beautiful. His character was spot on. Everything about Lion-O was perfect. He had brain, he had feelings, he had will, everything.
And then we have the ending. (Without the memory erase.) I must admit Lion-O chatting with Lion-O was very good.
It was a really nice ending.
Putting it all together. Your writing is very good. The flow of the story is exceptionally good. You have good sentences, the characters are very-very close to cannon, you use just as much details to write down the environment as needed.
You write well. Very well. One can feel you enjoyed writing this story that was well built up (except that memory erase you thank god forgot about and other small things like Mumm-ra). As much as I have peeked into the smut, that was well written as well.
You have many squeaking reviews and you have earned them with your good writing.
Keep up, but reread what you are doing, and think of the alternatives. Random things might sound funny to you, but they confuse everyone else who cannot see into your head.
oh ps2: Skip posting the chat you have with the characters/muses at the end of each chapter, please.
ps3: oh and the part where the 'babe' each-other back and forth was weird too. it was a remaining thing from the ‘changed into Tygra’ version obviously since it never appeared before or after in the fic ever again. You should correct that too.
It was a joy to read. Hope my words will be considered as constructive criticism, because that is what I indented it to be.
| The New Mandalord chapter 3 . 2/22/2012
YOU LIED TO ME!
You promised me graphic sax and mild violin. I did not see one of those things.
You promised me a jazz club, and you just gave me bestiality. All I ca say is - thank you. Please do more Lion-O Cheetara fics, and kill Tygra in each please.
| Luna de Papel chapter 3 . 2/15/2012
I feel sorry that Lion-O did not make the decision to stay himself, but I am glad that alter-Li-O did. I knew there was something shady about him lol
You couldn't help yourself and had the brothers solve their differences before everything went boom :) I'll be waiting for that spin-off as anxiously as Tygra himself ;)
| Bronwynn chapter 3 . 2/14/2012
This was an amazing rewrite. I really enjoyed the direction you took the story.
~~~"That's not what I meant." he chuckled as he licked the outer curve of her ear. "You're married to the other me." he clarified. "I want you to marry me. This Lion-O. The one who loves, adores and worships you more than any other version of me in the universe."~~~ That was so romantic. Lion-O loves Cheetara unconditionally and he wants her to marry HIM, the one who truly loves and appreciates her. In the end, staying in this other world was desirable to him because of her. Well done.
| Green-Extreme-Ninjetti13 chapter 2 . 2/3/2012
read all Your Thundercats stories, thought they were pretty good. Like Tygra/Cheetara but would love to see a Lion-O/OC story.
| The New Mandalord chapter 2 . 1/22/2012
Now this is more like it. It makes more sense, but please don't make Lion-O go back. I like the fact he is happy.
| Bronwynn chapter 2 . 1/20/2012
I like the different direction the 'rehashed version' takes. And, wow, that was steamy. I loved that Cheetara knew Lion-O was different based on the way her acted toward his brother. And there will be a part three. I look forward to reading it.