|Reviews for The Paving on the Road|
| MelodyOfSecrets chapter 1 . 10/16/2013
I quite liked this story. Especially the Silena/Clarisse friendship scenes. It's really nice to see things from Silena's POV.
| Mission to Marzipan chapter 1 . 5/21/2013
Let's try and do something about that hits to review ratio, shall we?
I wish I had read this a long time ago. It was stunning in its depth and simplicity all at once. Your interpretation of Silena was just unbelievably... right. Like, I never held much of an opinion on her before, not even from the books, but this... yes. This just worked so well. I love that there's angst but you've not gone teeth-gnashing, hair-rending wailing with it. It's sad but it's just sad enough without getting bogged down. It never stops it flowing; there are plenty of moments where it could have done, potentially, and you showed a wonderful level of artistry knowing just where to handwave and page break over these things to stop the story snagging.
I really, really like this. I feel that it's made Silena a fully fleshed out character for me for the first time. RR is never that hot on fleshing out his secondary and tertiary characters, IMHO, so I'm glad that there is fic and authors like you who write this kind of thing and pick up his slack. There was just the right amount of Silena being implicit and her being an unwilling accomplice, too, to keep it believable.
Clarisse was perfect too. Aphrodite just simply worked, also.
My eyes slid over grammar issues and typos and whatever else some people have pointed out and that's not in the nature of my eyes to do. I guess they know they can forgive when the content demands that they do so.
| ATrueHufflepuff13 chapter 1 . 5/14/2013
NO! DON'T FINISH NOW!
Sorry, I just really want to know what's going to happen next. That was the funniest, saddest, most intriguing Silena/Beckendorf I've ever read. Crush-whammies. Love it.
| Wishes chapter 1 . 12/31/2012
I never really paid attention to this ship. Until now. It's so sad, and yet so undeniably gorgeous. Thank you.
| Omega135 chapter 1 . 12/25/2012
I love it...it's exactly how I'd imagine their stories to be. Awesome job :)
| cities chapter 1 . 10/11/2012
I didn't sit through the whole thing. I was upside-down whe I read this. I think the Silena/Charles thing is way overdone, and usually I don't read them, but this one was great.
Good SPaG—I'm too tired to go nitpicking, food plot when compared to everything. The ending wasn't bad, meaning it was good, which is better than most of the S/C one shots can boast.
"The landscape only wished it was desolate." Love this, in particular.
| skylands chapter 1 . 9/29/2012
[This review has been submitted as part of a prize on achieving second position in the competition "The 5 Drabbles Challenge".]
Oh my god, Musa. This is amazing.
Everyone, especially Silena, is perfectly in character. I loved how you had her acknowledge the fact that she was probably not going to Elysium as well as her thoughts on how everyone treated Aphrodite's children. Major pet peeve right there.
I really liked that Silena didn't revert back to her undamaged form after death. I think you did the Clarisse/Silena friendship parts amazingly too as well as the Silendorf romance.
I spotted a few grammar mistakes. Mainly punctuation. But they weren't really noticeable enough to spoil the flow.
Overall, very well written. I love it.
| sangkar chapter 1 . 5/6/2012
That was really, really good. I especially liked the later bits with Clarisse in them. The Clarisse and Silena friendship, in my opinion, are way underrated. The way you do the dialogue is really sharp and to the point; the don't ramble on and on forever until the author wakes up and actually makes something happen. I hate those kinds of fics. Great job.
| The Ghost Writers chapter 1 . 4/24/2012
Your fic has come into the attention of the Ghost Writers, due to its excellent quality.
It is possibly one of the best Silendorf fics to be found. You communicate the emotion really well, and you tell a balanced story of what happened to Silena. The prompts are worked in quite well, and the fic has a realistic note that often isn't found in Silena fics.
All the characters all perfectly IC, and you show a great grasp of the characters' motivations and personalities.
You succeed in making the reader really feel what the characters are going through, and that is, perhaps, the best thing about this fic.
For the above reasons, your story has been added to The Ghost Writers Community - The Fame Magnets.
For more information, visit our forum:
forum . fanfiction forum/Ghost_Writers/105367/
Congratulations, and keep writing!
Proud to be Plug
| To Thine Own Self Be True101 chapter 1 . 4/2/2012
Aw, I liked this. My favorite part was when Clarisse and Silena were talking about Chris. It was sad about how Clarisse thought of love though, it was sadly true...
| very good story chapter 1 . 3/25/2012
this is one of the best fanfictions i have ever read, very origonal and used good characters with substance :) good job
| Jillian Aerist chapter 1 . 3/25/2012
looking at him him, Delete of the "hims".
as mixed blessing. "a mixed". Not "as".
her Mom "Mom" is only capitalized when used in place of a name. Otherwise, it is an ordinary noun, not a proper noun, and thus, not capitalized.
smile, "Hi Charlie." May or may not be nitpicking here, but I think it would flow better if that were a period, and there were a comma between "Hi" and "Charlie".
he looked like he wanted to run far, far away, Same thing here. Not technically written incorrectly, I just think it'd flow better as a sentence. It would still fit the same place and be grammatically correct.
glanced to aside Either "glanced aside" or "to the side".
that the Camp Not a proper noun unless referred to by itself. The "the" contradicts proper noun status, thus. Not a proper noun here.
Pegasus Stables. Also not a proper noun.
and that he, unlike many, he had things of consequence to talk about. Sentence flows better if one of the "he"s is deleted. It works however, so this is probably me nitpicking.
Cabin, Not a proper noun in this case.
her Dad Not a proper noun lest used in place of a noun. In the previous sentence, "mother" is not capitalized. "Dad" shouldn't be either. Same with "mom" in the next sentence.
figured blank look "figured a blank look".
would get that the other things. Delete "that". Doesn't make sense.
Heroes, /Fairly/ certain it's not a proper noun here. Fairly, not completely, but fairly certain.
Hermes express Proper noun, capital "e".
entirely too earnest she'd led him along for quite long enoughSemicolon between "earnest" and "she'd".
Hephaestus cabin Proper noun. Capital "c".
And when she finally something "said"?
he's useless loser "he's a."
ball) sighed There needs to be a comma after the parentheses.
to her Where is your period at the end of this sentence?
for reassurance Period, here, please.
Clarisses' Apostrophe before s.
Kronos' It's totally appropriate to add an 's here.
theirs' Before the s.
I am confused. Do you mean, she'd been shortchanged, or she'd shortchanged them, or what?
"Oh god, This is PJO. That's Luke. That's "gods".
to do some damage it. "to".
big house Proper noun. Capitalize it.
He point "The".
Because god s.
She left Clarisse went with the rest of the Camp to New York, decided she was worthless within the span of a few hours (even her siblings were setting monsters on fire), and went back to Camp to try and convince Clarisse to come join the battle. This is confusing. Who did what?
Adrenalin Has an "e".
The Di Angelo "di Angelo".
Overall, pretty good. IC and emotional. I almost cried at the end, and it takes a lot for me to be moved enough to get anywhere NEAR crying, forget the act itself. Excellent job, my friend. Sorry it took so long to get this review in.
| Road Lizard chapter 1 . 1/4/2012
Okay, so it took me a while to get to this one. I wanted to save the longest for last, and then well, it's long.
I haven't read much Silena because well, she's not really a character that grabs my interest, but this. This. Holy shit.
I really love it.
'If this was what she had power over, she'd been shortchanged by every one of the Olympians.' This line really stuck with me.
Characterization and synchronization with canon were spot on.
Perfectly designed and executed and well written, as always.
| Proud to be Plug chapter 1 . 1/2/2012
Well, this is a… distinctly epic interpretation of the Silendorf saga. I've read one or two fics along this line, but this is the best I've come across.
Everyone is IC, of course, and you kept with canon perfectly in terms of storyline. One of my favourite parts is the fact that you didn't go into too much detail on the Silena-pretends-to-be-Clarisse part. That side of things is sometimes overdone, so it's good to see it not over exaggerated. I also liked the way Silena wasn't automatically restored to her perfect features when she goes to the Underworld. It seems more realistic that way.
On the whole, there are many good things about this fic, and I fail to think of but one bad thing. Really great work!
| Flaming Blizzard chapter 1 . 1/2/2012
Oh. My. God.
This is, without a doubt, THE best Silena/Beckendorf story ever. Heck, probably the best Silena focused story in a while.
Every single thing was spot on. You gave Silena her positive traits, and also acknowledged her flaws. Like exactly HOW bad it was that she betrayed camp. I feel like a lot of stories ignore exactly how bad that is, even though Silena redeemed herself in the end. And I loved how she has such complicated feelings on her mom; that was a really great scene.
The Silena/Beckendorf was spot on, adorable, and made my teeth rot. I also like how he DIDN'T instantly forgive her. It's a fresh change of pace. And I like that you left it dubious if she went to Elysium or not; I mean, I think Riordan confirmed it, but for all we know, that COULD be the last time Silena's with Beckendorf. We just don't know.
And finally, the Luke Silena scenes. Those were honestly a bit creepy. I especially liked the little mention of how Kronos only came out when she held information... Kind of makes you wonder what he did to make her give it to them.
All in all, absolutely beautiful story :,)