|Reviews for Scarlett|
| BrenRome chapter 6 . 11/16/2012
Great plot twist at the end!
So it seems that there's a mystery going on involving police being kidnapped, huh? Can't wait to see what that's about!
Anyways, great work and keep it up!
| doss5vaan chapter 1 . 11/6/2012
like the story keep it up do update soon
ps:plz let debbies pearants adopt sasha i can imagen them as sis in the future
| Fan chapter 5 . 10/24/2012
You have got a really good story going on here. One of those that once you read, you can't stop and you're glad you can't, because it's so engaging and well-thought out. So here's the run down.
You introduced and already started to develop a good little bunch of characters that I want to get to know. Debbie comes across as very friendly and warm-hearted, while playing the cool, tough girl when she has to. But she has some secrets to a possibly dark past. Also the same is said for Sasha, she is broken and isolated and is in two worlds on whether to keep it that way. I'm hoping that these two will get along soon. Scarlett is one of the few non-Mary Sue characters in this fandom.
Canon characters. Although you've only kept Hit-Girl and Red Mist in small roles so far, they are very well-written and in character. It's a lot harder to accomplish then most people think, and I believe you have got them just right. I hope to see some other characters from the film make their way into the story.
Action. You've apparently got a reputation as being one of the best action writers on Fanfiction. It's very hard to get right or even understandable, and not only do you succeeded at both, but you make it feel real and detailed without dragging it on. The action is intense, it's fast-paced, it doesn't go too over-the-top. They call you the Michael Bay of action Fanfiction. I'll be reading more of your work to see if that's true.
Writing. Your writing style is efficient and runs along nicely. Not stuffing too much dialogue of exposition.
Humour. There is some genuinely funny comedy moments, whether it be from the witty dialogue, the physical comedy (most of it coming from Debbie), or even the obscure names villains or heroes would give each other. I did really chuckle a number of times, it's not forced humour.
Tenses. There are times when, forgive me if I'm mistaken or this was intentional, you switch between past and present tenses a number of times. It's not too distracting, but it can nibble the annoyance meter at times. But it's nothing too serious.
Worthy Antagonist. Other then Blowjob and Red Mist, this fic doesn't seem to be establishing a clear or notable villain as of yet. I know it's early on in the story still, but compared to the first arc of Omega Kid, we haven't had a true villain that we love to hate just yet. It's still early, and you might bring in a villain that will knock me for a loop.
Any problems in this fic are minimal and fixable. Otherwise, this is a very enjoyable story. One that I hope will continue for some time as I will love to see how it develops and grows. It has the potential to be truly fantastic, it's still early chapters, I will wait to see how it will go.
My score - 4/5
| Bexteron chapter 5 . 9/13/2012
Yay! Another chapter! :O And it's dedicated to me XDD Awesome work, as usual, Tommy ;) I liked this chapter. It was filled with so much excitement, intriguing stuff. The begining had me crackin up before I even managed to get into the chapter XD I still haven't watched Magic Mike yet! DX lol Jealous of Debbie right now lol jk. I love how realistic the language is when you write the inner dialogue, and when she talks with others about mndane stuff, or boys lol. It gives it another sense of reality, making it believable. Debbie's a lot stronger than she thought she was, especially when she knocked that ball away so easily, and her reaction times are getting faster. Then in comes the creepy "Peado" guy *shudders*. I knew there was something strange about him, and it kinda showed when he was hanging around the school O.O. I feel bad for Sasha, and empathize with her. Its hard being in an abusive household, and no matter what other people tell you-what they think you should do, its harder living with it. Its easier said than done :/ I think you did a good job conveying the torn feelings Sasha has to deal with - with her dad DX He sounds like a complete dick, and she'll be better off leaving as soon as she can, or standing up to him...otherwise, things will only get worse :C
When Debbie was sneaking up on the weird hobo guy, and she threw the trashcan lid? I burst out laughing! I could totally see it. I laughed my tea up...all over my keyboard DX lol. Its all good, don't worry. Totally worth seeing in my mind's eye, a lonely lid rolling down the alley way like a tumbleweed lol. I love that, despite that Sasha has been...cold, toward her in the past, Debbie still feels protective over her :) Especially after the crap she's going through with her dad. It seems they have a lot in common - that might help them communicate more in the future, but we'll have to wait and see ;D lol. The action at the end had me on the edge of my seat. I thought for sure that the weirdos were gonna kill 'em, or do worse in the chapter O.O. And meeting the hero at the end (won't say who to make sure I don't spoil it for anyone) lol. I think you had their attitude down pretty well. I really thought I was reading that hero in the chapter :D Well done! Another great chapter to Scarlett. I can't wait for an update, no pressure ;) :P lol
| Bexteron chapter 4 . 5/2/2012
SORRY! I take ages R&Ring...I'm an average reader apparently lol - Anyway, on with the review :)
I thought this was a cool chapter Tommy! :3 I liked this one alot. Your descriptions are great and the humour is...well its funny. Thats what humour is lol. Y'know, everytime I read that "Blow-job" name, I giggle too. I think you got the immaturish girls giggling down XD I like the dialogue between the characters. It flows nicely and sounds believable in my head when I read it. I liked your nickname "Diabolic Duo" for mum and dad. Thats what mine were, though even when married they didn't see eye to eye lol I'm glad Debbie's mum let her go. Reminds me of how my own would cave...but then leave loads of jobs for me to do when I got back XD
The religious debates reminded me of the ones I used to have in school. I spent more time arguing with the teacher than the actual students I was supposed to be debating against, it was ridiculous lol
I had a feeling about that Scott dude. I don't know what it was...an inkling or something told me he wasn't good, or had to be watched. And I was right! Awesome _ lol I liked the little struggle and that you always put in some kind of action to keep it exciting :)
Debbie's going to have to keep an eye on Sam if she'd going to keep her secret hero identity a secret. She seems more observant than one might have thought lol
Cool chapter overall F- Yeah! (Sorry. Had to quote Debbie ;D) lol
| Bexteron chapter 3 . 4/28/2012
Awesome chapter Tommy :) I liked this one a lot more. I thought it was witty and funny how you mentioned books and likes, keeping it current. Like when Debbie was talking to Sam about Twilight. That conversation for funny xD I also like the conversation she had with her dad. They seem so ease when they talk and loving (jealous) :)
And I am continually envious about the way you write your action/fight scenes. You are able to make them exciteing without losing the character's personality during. I thinks thats amazing! I think you're doing well at writing a fic from a girl's POV. Its hard to do so, but I think you're doing it quite well :) Keep it up. Can't wait to see what happens next :P
| Bexteron chapter 2 . 4/18/2012
I liked this chapter alot. I just can't believe just how much of an awesome bad a-ss scarlett is lol. I love your fighting sequences, and I couldn't help but chuckle with Scarlett and that robber were talking almost casually about how he got his weapons off Ebay! pffft XD Awesome Tommy! :D
| Bexteron chapter 1 . 4/11/2012
Awesome chapter tommy. Really funny and descriptive. And you were kinda belivable when you wrote the girl lol. The fight scene was cool and found myself ducking and weaving with the character. What can I say other than this chapter kicked ass LOL (bad pun) Sorry -_-"
| Girl Team Rules chapter 4 . 4/2/2012
YAY! i'm so happy to see you have updated this. oh my, he reminds me of this boy that went to my school. he didn't believe in God either and argued with everyone, thankfully he didn't go this far lol. loved it!
| bloodyhelllx chapter 3 . 1/12/2012
Best red mist yet! Please continue
| Girl Team Rules chapter 3 . 1/4/2012
good to see this story back up, and i have to admit for some reason i find this a bit more enjoyable than the last one although that one was good to not to be mean. anyway these first three chapters have been amazing, Scarlett is quite bad-a** and tough in this. hope to see more of Red Mist as well and maybe some of the other characters as well. thanks for getting this up and cheering me up, it really has and oh my god you did it! yay I'm in Scarlett, there's me! thank you, thank you, thank you! i'm so excited for the next chapters! loved this, love ya! bye for now!