|Reviews for Tortured Soul|
| Saeshmea chapter 1 . 3/8/2012
I remember I began reading this but for some reason I stopped... I'm glad I didn't delete the 'new story' alert from my mail box ;)
You're right when you say this could have been a great chapter of any story, but I think it has enough power itself, specially because very few dare writing from Tom's POV. :D
| BrokePerception chapter 1 . 1/12/2012
Ah yes... "One person's terrorist is another person's freedom fighter."
One correction: "New Year's Eve" - not "Christmas Eve", I believe. Otherwise, I absolutely applaud you for seemingly having taken the time to weave canon into your story, instead of ignoring the facts as so many authors do.
While I cannot do anything else but dislike him, you've raised a very valid point. How we all become depends on our genes, but even more than genes on our social environment as well, most particularly during childhood. You've done a very good job here of trying to elucidate where the anger, the lust for power... Voldemort opposed to Tom Riddle came from.
I too have to add... how very much that I LOVED you using canon as it were before Pottermore. I'm referring to Minerva's birth year here. I'll NEVER get why all of a sudden J.K. Rowling's changed it by ten years. The one that was given before Pottermore leaves open so many opportunities - her and Tom's overlapping education at Hogwarts being one for sure.
I've seen a couple of capitals missing and small spelling and grammar mistakes and other oopsies like 'start pupil' instead of 'star pupil' and 'complements' instead of 'compliments', but it didn't disturb the story line. They just struck my eye. The flow of this piece was remarkable. One sentence flowed into the other effortlessly. Not one single word seemed to be missing or unnecessary.
Throughout the story were a few very poignant lines that took my breath away, for they were so like him, so... easily summed up how he was. Like "It was agony, but pain is only temporary. Glory is forever."
Nice little twist with the girl named Nagini being turned into his dear snake.
I like how you've not portrayed Minerva as giving in so easily, but only after the thing at the Yule Ball. It would have been very OOC for her to have been seduced easier.
I loved the repitition at the end.
| maybeitisnt chapter 1 . 1/1/2012
This is really great! Small thing, in the bit about dumbledore, you say couldn't never help me, and that's a double negative meaning that he was always helping Tom. Otherwise this is really good. I would have never thought of that kind of pairing, so well done!