|Reviews for Entrance and Exit|
| DeathGoblin chapter 1 . 4/1/2013
I really like the idea of Trunks finding Korin Tower and receiving the last of the senzu beans to earn his place as Gohan's disciple. Though I find it somewhat annoying when Japanese is mixed with english (in dialogue, honorifics and names are ok), I could easily overlook. Overall, a good story, and I'm glad it didn't center too much on the androids.
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/31/2012
Great you put one word where one should be.
| Sirius-Black-is-not-dead chapter 1 . 1/4/2009
I have no idea what to say to this fic, I'm literally speechless! *Well, maybe not so speechless...* It tied a good knot that connects to everything that happens in Trunk's Timeline, or doesn't throw a dent in story plot. I always wondered what happened to the residents of Korin's Tower, you did really good. You should be proud! Hip-hip-horray!
| SiriusRulez chapter 1 . 5/13/2007
That was real good
| hippiechic chapter 1 . 1/6/2004
Uhoh...an eight-year-old Trunks has a plan of some sort. Scary, ain't it? I don't know about you, but it certainly terrifies me to say the least.
You have the Briefs still alive! Yay! I always loved Dr. and Mrs. Brief. They're the coolest! Totally crack me up! I'm glad to know they're still around and kicking in your fic. _
"Granted, Trunks didn’t cause trouble very often, but when he did, it was never anything small; he seemed to subscribe to the theory that if someone were going to do something, he should do it in a big way." That is so true! So Trunks! Great statement!
Lol! "fixing to be"? Lol! No offense, but I had to laugh even though this is a very serious fic and a serious part of it at that. I just had to mention it. Being from the Southern US, that's normal language. "I'm fixin' to!" *chuckles* Me like. _
You seem to have captured the androids perfectly. They really do sound like the real thing. Great job! Oh, and wonderful job on the fight scene. It's nice to see an author who knows something about fighting. As a martial artist, I must say that most authors' fight scenes are sadly lacking in clarity and detail of the fights. Good job.
Boring-Sama! LMAO! That's a good one! Almost sounds like something Yajirobe would say in the middle of a match of wits with Korin. I like!
Aw! Both Gohan and Trunks are blaming themselves for what happened, not to mention Bulma. Everyone is so eager to be the guilty party. Poor dears.
Wow...great ending! Poor Korin-sama. I always loved Korin. Great job with his character by the way. I think he added a very special touch to the story, especially his words of wisdom. In fact, I think I might like to see more stories from you featuring Korin and/or Yajirobe. You deal with them so well.
Anyway, great job overall on this amazing fic. I truly enjoyed reading this. You should be very proud of yourself for such a job well done. Until the next time I check in, Peace and Out.
| DoraMouse chapter 1 . 9/19/2003
Hola Demi-Saiyan Prodigy!
Lets get the nitpicks out of the way first, shall we? Okay. Quick and painless.
You are a comma happy critter who enjoys creating run-on sentances. I can forgive the excessive commas since it seems that everyone is taught a different method for applying that particular piece of punctuation. However please know - for future reference - that breaking some of the paragraph-long sentances into shorter statements might improve the flow and clarity of the writing. Shorter sentances could also the impact of the writing by creating more suspense.
Last but not least, you sometimes invent adjectives. It doesn't typically cloud the meaning - you generally get the message across just fine - but it can be a tad distracting sometimes. Especially to weird people like me who actually pause to think: 'is that a word?'
There. That wasn't so bad, eh? Feel free to ignore the nitpicks. Had to get it out of my system.
Now then. You're no novice, Demi. By now you ought to know that you are an excellent writer. Easily one of the best in the dragonball fandom. If in the future I see that you have published a book, I would not be in the least surprised. Indeed, I imagine it would be a best-seller if not also the recipent of at least one prestigious writing awards. You have talent. There is no denying that. I hope you enjoy writing the stories as much as we enjoy reading them.
It is obvious from your works that you have a real respect for all the characters. It shows. You capture them as they are. You take the time to understand each of them. Explaining their motives in a plausible fashion without denying their faults and shortcomings. For that alone, I thank you. A story always more insightful when such things are not glossed over. This particular piece... Not only did I come away feeling better aquainted with Gohan, Trunks and the people around them - you also provided a grim but accurate look at the logic of the mirai androids.
Plus of course, there is the rare but worthwhile glimpse of Korin. Which deserves applause. I mean, most people don't even acknowledge Korin in the regular timelines. Much less the harsh mirai timelines. So, despite what happens in the story, it's really quite a treat to have Korin portayed here.
Further applause is due. The balance of plot and introspection is wonderful. The story keeps moving. Never dwelling too long in one place, avoiding redundance. Never becoming wholly predictable. Very tactful. You don't show us everything - just enough to make us think. Just enough to let us envision the situation. You're rather skilled at picking out which details the characters would notice so that makes your descriptions all the more effective.
Although this is, quite honestly, a tragedy... The few touches of humor were nice. The pained but subdued reactions to destruction were touching and credible. N' the entire story carried with it an undertone of determination and hope. Even people who aren't aware of how the mirai situation eventually works out in the anime and manga could leave this story feeling like the mirai timeline isn't a lost cause.
Because you succeed in creating the feeling that the end isn't really the end in this case. The story may be over but the characters go on. Life goes on. All that. This story is just a nice little moment, polished and put on display for us all to inspect. You could very easily write a sequel - or prequel - to this, if you desired but I don't know if there's a need. The story does all right as a stand alone and the open ending works well.
And you probably already knew all this. So I'll just wander off now.
Take care Demi!
| Lady Eldaelen chapter 1 . 7/14/2003
What an awesome story! I agree, you should have more reviews than this. Wow.
| Enchanted Hats chapter 1 . 2/19/2003
That was a amazing. Man, you should have alot more reviews then just this. Whoa. I loved it!
| VideliGohan chapter 1 . 7/30/2002
hey dsp. wonderful, awesome, sweet, cool (i think you get the idea.) anyway i think what you wrote is very orginal and i think you deserve more credit then what your're getting. i hope you get more reviews and maybe write a sequeal to this. that would be awesome:)
videligohan signing off!)
| Leia chapter 1 . 6/1/2002
Hey, DSP! *cringes* I know it's been a long time, and I meant to review this ages ago, but ... agh. I won't plague you with excuses.
I'm reviewing this signed out so I can sign in and review it later, and do it properly. This is just a short one (again, time is limited) to let you know that I HAVE read the story, I DO love it, and I can't wait for the rest of them.
The characterizations, drama, angst, inner messages, and the incorporation of the title into the story was wonderful. And kudos for using Korin-sama - very few fics feature him, and even fewer that aren't 'humourous'.
I'll write a longer one later, 'kay? Sorry it's been such a long time!
| RainyDayz chapter 1 . 5/18/2002
Good Kami-sama! This story was everything I expected and more! Incredible. It's everything I've ever wanted in a story and that is no lie. I wonder if you remember me, Misty. I'm Rainy. It's been so long since we've spoken and I just found your story. As usual, you have no flaws and have created a masterpiece. Take care!
| Aurora83 chapter 1 . 5/10/2002
Wow, that was wonderful. Not many authors write about this part of the Mirai timeline. It's interesting to see how the relationship between Trunks and Gohan develops. Very well done.