Reviews for A Shining New Era
crankyman7 chapter 9 . 2/17/2014
This story does show all the signs you mention of it being an early effort. The characterization is mixed in quality. Rafiki and Immue are well drawn, Ahadi somewhat less so [though he's okayish]. I'm not as happy with your Scar, although not because I can't see how the transition from how you write him in the main story to how you write him in the epilogue could occur. No, my problem is that you didn't really focus on Scar as a character. You showed him almost exclusively through the eyes of others. If your intent was to show how he became who he is in "The Lion King", then, to be honest, you really should have both written from his point of view, and explored his transition from childhood to adulthood after the disappearance of his mother.

Also, I'm still not quite sure what was going on with the opening scene. Immue was hunting a warthog, and suddenly she's attacking Rafiki? [Or was that Rafiki's cousin, and she just thought it was Rafiki?] While it took me a little while to sort out what order the various scenes were supposed to go in, I was still more or less able to figure it out, at least from the half-way point on. But this scene, I'm still not quite clear on.

There are some definite positives, however. Immue is, as I've already mentioned, well drawn, as is Rafiki [who, I might add, seemed very in character- well done]. You do a good job with incorporating the political tensions that can result from a king having children by more than one wife [or, in this case, mate]. And I can respect the obvious ambition behind the story.

Still, I can't help but feel that the potential was stunted by:

1. The story's short length.

2. The lack of any exploration of Scar's character from his own point of view before the epilogue.

3. The absence of a more linear narrative, which could have brought across the points you were making more clearly, without forcing the reader to be constantly thinking about what order the scenes were supposed to go in.

This story was clearly a bold experiment on your part, but it wound up being a bit less than the sum of its parts. It has not dissuaded me from reading more of your work, however. This was, as you mention, written quite a long time ago, when you were not as experienced at writing. I'm therefore hopeful that your later work will not only retain the same ambition as this one, but will do it full justice via the improvements you have made to your writing skills since then.
Timelong chapter 9 . 11/18/2012
A story from 1997, huh? That's quite impressive, I will say.

When I started reading it, to be honest, I felt quite lost most of the time. The new names, and like you said in the epilogue, the new narrative style, meant that I never did quite understand what was going on until more chapters were posted, and I read each one several times.

After I did that, I started to see how unique your story was. How Scar is not really the bad guy, and he doesn't hate Ahadi, and instead, it's his mother that causes most of the trouble. What you wrote is very unique, and I am glad to have been able to read it. I had a great time with A Shining New Era, thanks a lot!
kate chapter 2 . 10/28/2012
Please put up chapter 3 soon aand hurry
disappointed 2012 chapter 1 . 1/5/2012
holy crap! how long did it take you to write that?