|Reviews for Emotions|
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/29/2015
ITS ARYA NOT ARAY!
| Elizabella chapter 1 . 6/18/2012
I am not reviewing your story, I just want to tell you that you choose the wrong character in the filter box. Your story is about Eragon Shadeslayer, the protagonist in the Inheritance Cycle, and not Eragon I, the first dragon rider ever who lived many years before during the dragon-elves war.
It might be of interest to you to change the filter choice since people tend to select Eragon S. over Eragon I.
| Restrained.Freedom chapter 10 . 3/25/2012
This may not be the most eloquently written story, but I have to give you credit for having some great original ideas, and the ability to make them visible to the readers with your words.
Scaling the walls with hand blades... cool
| sandmanmh chapter 10 . 3/24/2012
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/21/2012
The spelling was pretty bad :l you called arya aray a bunch of times and spelt it Saphire
| Ryen chapter 1 . 3/20/2012
It is arya not aray
| Restrained.Freedom chapter 4 . 3/11/2012
I was equally discouraged by CP's ending. Why write a story that unravels into lameness. :(
It has lead to a newly discovered IC illness, PIDS (Post Inheritance Depression Syndrome)
Presenting the cure to the end of Inheritance "The True Inheritance, or Eld Hljödhr abr Wyrda" by Adin the Conqueror. You can find it in my 'Favorites.' I encourage you to check out, and I'd love to know how many of you think his work should be declared canon. XD
This fiction actually goes where CP was afraid to go. It is ten, no... a hundred times more satisfying than Paolini's mediocre vision. And that is only after the first chapter... Can't wait to see what he does with A&E, and all of the rest...
Adin actually takes CP's work to the exalted place it was meant to go. It is what I always imagined for the series... It is what I wanted to see happen... It is what I craved to have happen... And Damnit, it is what I now believe really happened...
"Hang CP... Long Live Adin the Conqueror!"
| googons chapter 10 . 3/11/2012
the spelling mistakes made it really hard to understand part of the chapter. i would suggest using microsoft word or some other form of spell checking...
other than the chapter beeing short, nice one
| googons chapter 8 . 2/29/2012
it's an interesting story you've got there... chapters are a bit short and missing on some details though...
also, try and spell check (maybe use "microsoft word"), it's not the worst thing in the world and you are understandable in most cases but it's still a bit annoying.
| googons chapter 5 . 2/9/2012
it's nice but it's kinda annoying that you switch from first person to third person from time to time... try to avoid it.
other than that... it's a nice start, would be interesting to see where it goes to from here.
| TheGlacierAuthor chapter 2 . 1/2/2012
I see why you said it was your best work! (So far!) It was really good! Thank you, thank you, thank you, for choosing a point of view! You don't know how much that means to me! (And anyone reading! :D) Though you said "he" a couple of times in the second or third paragraph, you mainly stayed in first person, so I thank you once more! And you also didn't mess up antibes names, which is excelent! But I just have a couple criticism opinions.
1. You seem to have Nanusda (I can never spell her name) hug Eragon a lot. In the books, they were more like good friends, but here you make it seem like she has some feelings for him, like a mother or something. My opinion is don't show to much affection between them: good friends, not lovers. But again, that's just my opinion.
2. A little more detail. Like when he got on Saphiria's saddle: instead of he got on a then flew off, say he jumped on the saddle, adjusted the straps, made sure everything was sucure, crapper Saphiria's big spike, and then took off. Apply more detail to things like that (fighting, flying, talking, ect.) and you should be good. But again, my opinion.
3. Also, you had Eragon kiss Saphiria on the nose before leaving. That's great and all, but if your trying to write a Inheritance Cycle book, you got to write like Palolini. And Palolini never had Eragon kiss Saphiria. (Actully, now that I think about it, he never had Eragon kiss anyone except for Arya at the end of Inheritance.) Have Eragon hug Saphiria instead. Just sounds more like Palolini. But once again, my opinion.
4. And lastly, Grammer. Your getting better, just spell check a lot, and also capitalize more on certin sentences and you should be good. (Not my opinion. Fact.)
Yeah... That's about it I hope I wasn't to harsh. I mean, most of those critisims are my opinions, except for the last one. It was a really good chapter, keep up the good work! Your getting to be a really good writer! :)
| TheGlacierAuthor chapter 1 . 1/2/2012
I see to took my advice and added the story to the Inheritance Cycle collection! You will be getting reviews in no time! If you remember what I said in my last review, before you changed the sort category, try to apply that to the next chapter. And I also suggest you turn of anonomus reviews. Go into your account settings, and turn off "Anonomus Reviews". Yeah... That's about it! Keep up the good work! Don't forget about The Unwanteds!
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/2/2012
you have a spelling mistake in your summary...
It's steal not steel