|Reviews for What Now!|
| Blazeb79 chapter 10 . 4/19
Very good story cant wait for more.
| LeQuin chapter 2 . 3/28
I'm afraid I am going to have to stop reading here. I respect that you wrote something in the first place and your spelling and grammar a generally good, but your plot is just unforgivably lazy in some places and your characters so two dimensional that they are already sliding through the cracks.
You've sent Harry back in time with at least decades of life experience on his side which he promptly ignores to hit every cliche in the HP time travel box. Crazy trunk, shopping, helpful goblins, head of house/lord, etc. I understand the temptation and cliches do exist for a reason, but it feels like Harry has nothing to worry about outside of Hogwarts and that already stretches the willing suspension of disbelief and robs you the author of a good chance for some character development.
The dialogue feels extremely rushed. Harry is basically throwing out exposition for the sake of other characters non-stop and they are lapping it up with no critical thought whatsoever. Abused children are generally not THIS eager to talk about their abuse if it has reached the level you're implying here. Harry may have come to terms with it over the course of his life, but it should still look suspicious to the professors at least. Instead they immediately turn on Dumbledore whom they have known and been friends with for decades at the word of an eleven year old whose story doesn't add up. Again: there is simply no room left for character development. Where are they meant to grow from here?
Similarly the parts with the girls felt like they have no personality. Harry talks a LOT and then they are all friends. In the process he reveals things that he simply shouldn't know if he's grown up muggle and abused. He shouldn't know how to get an elf. He shouldn't know to go back and talk to the goblins (and why a [foreign] bank is in charge of assigning political power will forever remain a mystery). He definitely shouldn't have known how to find Hermione and stalk her as a magical doggy that is likely to turn out to be a 'shadow wolf' or something. In other words he is begging to be exposed as a time traveler.
All this together means that your story feels very rushed. I get the idea that you consider this the boring bit and want to get to the scenes you wrote this for, but at the same time you aren't giving me (as your reader) time to get immersed in your story and care about your characters. Normally the cliches might help with that since I can fall back on other stories that I've read that are the same, but then why should I bother reading this?
A little detail that really annoys me, even if you aren't nearly the only one to use it, is the passage about 'touching bodies' being the 'female's choice'. First of all it's lazy: every american sitcom has done the stupid man should listen to clever woman trope and they are known as trash for a reason. Secondly, it comes off as a bit rapey to say that women can do whatever they want with no input from men. If you're not prepared to treat both sides of a relationship as equals in the decision making, then I have no interest in the relationship you're building. Lastly, it is yet another instance of Harry yapping away about something eleven-year-olds don't generally have a deep understanding of. By now Tonks at least, and considering Hermione's intelligence her too, should be freaking out and wondering if this is some polyjuiced child molester.
Finally I feel the need to call you out on the bit with the point ajudication request routine in Snape's class. It has been pulled almost entirely from Seel'vor's Harry Potter and the Quantum Leap, except that he actually fleshed it out and, frankly, actually showed us the scene. I'm normally reticent to write an accusation like this since there is a LOT of HP fanfiction and ideas will be recycled, but Seel'vor's piece is one of the most well known HP time travel fics on the site and was over five years old at the time you published this. I just don't buy that you aren't ripping off another author here and not even giving them a shout out in your Author's Notes.
If it had been just one of these things, I would have read on, but all of them together mean that by the end of the chapter I just couldn't bring myself to hit the 'next' button. I have tried to show what the specific points were that annoyed me about this fic and hope that you can take it as constructive criticism; if not, have a nice day anyway.
I wish you all the best in your continued efforts as an author.
| chielmeiberg chapter 10 . 1/7
Nice plot! Please update it again!
| Jimbocous chapter 10 . 12/10/2016
Good grins so far. Hope you get back to this at some point.
| DelWolf2005 chapter 10 . 10/6/2016
I love this so far!
| Traveler301 chapter 10 . 9/17/2016
A really, really good story. I hope your muse hasn't abandoned you again. I would love to read more of this effort.
Thanks for what you has written,
| Williams1760 chapter 10 . 8/10/2016
Good story so far, can't wait to read more. If this story is abandoned can you please post it in your profile.
| Hyzanoru chapter 10 . 5/22/2016
I hope you continue this story
| dragunpfeonyx chapter 10 . 5/9/2016
Das Ist gemein die geschichte ist so gut und jetzt geht nsie nicht weiter Ich hoffe das sie irgend wan weiter sreiben.
| jenny99 chapter 10 . 3/9/2016
Sweet story. Update plz.
| currahee506 chapter 10 . 2/29/2016
| Starman800 chapter 10 . 2/27/2016
great story, cant wait to read more.
| Jonn Wolfe chapter 10 . 12/4/2015
This is a fun story. I rather like it. Will it continue? *G*
| shadowwolf2345 chapter 10 . 11/29/2015
It's very good I really like it you should write more soon when you can.
| PoseidonPrince chapter 10 . 11/17/2015