|Reviews for AFFAIR OF THE HEART|
| Leanne Naughton chapter 4 . 2/29/2012
Thanks for asking me to read your story it is really good and i can't wait to see where you go with this please update soon. :)
| cband chapter 4 . 2/26/2012
this story is awesome! update soon
| GaaraSandNiN chapter 4 . 2/26/2012
I love the ending very clever.
You might have been abled to draw the story out longer by maybe clair walking in or micheal walking in or confronting shane or eve.
all in all it was pretty good.
Keep up the good work.
| Soph1998 chapter 4 . 2/25/2012
I really really love your story. I love the whole Shane Eve affair but now i want to know whats going to happen next
| Nellyrose1994 chapter 4 . 2/22/2012
...oh,s***! Let me start ok out by saying I am glad u invited me to read this story. I was alittle worried because I dont like cheating so when I read the summary that slut 1 and 2 (shane & eve) were hooking up behind their BEST FRIENDS backs...i wanted to beat the s*** out of both of them! Now that ive sad that...
What the hell is wrong with shane and eve? They are sssssoooo stupid and if I were claire id go off on both those f***ers,like some crazy b****! I would notice right away if my man cheated on me,u can tell cause if hes never done it u can seee the guilt and if he has done it more than once hes cocky as f***. But anyways I usaully give ideas for stories,just so u know they will be numbered. Hope these help u in ur story! :) :) :)
1) claire overhears shane tell eve he loves her, she freaks,has an arguement with shane,then leaves the morganville. Micheal follows and they leave morganville together. About five maybe six years later the come back and see eve and shane,but there not together. What if they realized the didnt really feel for each other as they thought,but claire and michael freak anyways. They both really love shane and eve. Shane and eve try to talk to claire and michael,but there not exactly welcoming,but they cant hold out on what they want. Michael and claire seem like their together,but there not! They tried going out when they left town,but it didnt feel right. But the biggest shocker is claire has a baby boy who looks nothing like michael,but familar to shane. Will claire forgive shane and eve,and will michael? Its up to u!
I usaully suggest like 3 or 4 ideas but I could help but focus on this one. I really like it,but if u dont I wont be affended-just thougjt id help. You can change stuff if u want,althougj if u add the baby idea I prefer it be a boy-ppl have girls in there stories all the time.
Finally,i just like to say I like this story,so keep it up. I would suggest longer chapters though,thanks.
Peace&love-nellyrose :) :) :)
| dorothyrichardson chapter 4 . 2/21/2012
Exuse me but this is where I start to get offended.I know that I stood up here all night to personally make sure that this chapter was grammatically correct. Its one thing to say that you start to cringe when you see something grammatcally wrong but it another thing to constantly get on her abuot it. Like exuse me but last time i checked we were just people not professional writers if she was i bet it would be right. but you know what takes all the fun of it. When someone downplays your writing because of some mistakes. So if certain parts of the story bother you or all you have to say is negavtive because y'all which is a word by the way it compund of you and all"if you have nothing nice to say dont say anything at all."
| Evanescence-in-Constantinople chapter 4 . 2/20/2012
COMMAS, COMMAS, BLOODY, FLAMING COMMAS!
THAT PARAGRAPH AT THE BEGINNING HAS ONE COMMA IN IT! ONE! ONE, SINGLE FREAKING COMMA! *sobs*
Please, please, please, PLEASE USE COMMAS! AND FULL STOPS! A SENTENCE ISN'T A SENTENCE WITHOUT A BEGINNING AND AN ENDING! SIGNIFIED BY PUNCTUATION! COMPLETELY NECESSARY PUNCTUATION.
Okay then, finishes rant, moving on to review.
I thought this affair was over! D:
But no, it is back on... :D
Oh so very exciting!
Update. Soon. Comprendé?
| winterLove13 chapter 4 . 2/20/2012
So good. It's well written. Keep up the good work. :)
| Evanescence-in-Constantinople chapter 3 . 2/20/2012
*inhales and exhales deeply*
I am gonna say this slowly. C.O.M.M.A.S!
Ummm... small mistake at the beginning... "When did all of y'all get home?" I am not American , but I know hat y'all is an abbreviation of you all. "When did all of you all get home?" does not make sense. It should be "When did y'all get home?"
Oh, GOD, THIS IS EXCITING!
WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN, WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN?
Next chapter if you will...
| Evanescence-in-Constantinople chapter 2 . 2/20/2012
As soon as you said about some-one coming into the house I cringed. I was like 'Oh **********************!' Yes, I know a swear that long. I made it up myself because I am so phantasmagorical.
Full stopssssssssssssssssss. Commmasssssssssssssssssssssss. CAPITAL LETTERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
At the beginning, something there is grammatically incorrect.
"...and I look up wondering who could that be."
It should be "...and I look up, wondering who that could be."
Trust me on this one... that is the way it goes... If someone said it aloud in a question it would be "Who could that be?"
But it is this way for now my dear pal.
Plot line... C'est superb!
Okay... excited, excited, excited, excited... want to go and read the next chapter? Can the sickly girl go and read the next chapter? Please? Yay, she can! :D
| Evanescence-in-Constantinople chapter 1 . 2/20/2012
Reading it, as per request, even despite my illness... *laughs hysterically*
I am really enjoying the main plot line! I think that the idea of Shane cheating on Claire has always been a thought, something Rachel Caine might do... (After the proposal though, I doubt it.) But doing it with Eve, her best friend? The ultimate betrayal!
I love the title! It is so fitting! Really clever!
Now... I apologise. But I am a critic. And critic stemmed from the word criticism. Some of which I have. I shall put it nicely though, and tell you how to improve... I am not that bad a person... HONEST! *hands up in surrender*
DO NOT BE AFRAID TO USE COMMAS! REALLY! DON'T BE! DO NOT JUST THROW THEM IN BECAUSE YOU FEEL LIKE IT, BUT PLEASE, FOR MY SAKE, USE SOME! :DDDDDDDDD
Ummm... I have a question for you... Is 'fustigating' a word? Genuine question... you used it... Okay... *Googles fustigating*... Fustigating is not a word... If that is a spelling mistake or something... I don't know... :L
Okay... I know that you probably found hundreds of mistakes in my story... and I am being an extremely hypocritical 13 year old... but please use capital letters and full stops! It actually hurts me!
English is the one thing I care about and love! PLEASE! FOR MY SAKE! IT MAY HELP ME GET BETTER! :DD
Okay, I want to go and read the next chapter... so off I go...
| morganvillevamp chapter 4 . 2/20/2012
This is amazing. Keep writing and update soon!:-)
| GotNoTimeForFeelingSorry chapter 4 . 2/20/2012
Absolutely awesome! Suddenly I feel suspicious of my own boyfriend...
| CandyCaneVamp chapter 4 . 2/20/2012
More More More More More, I need More! 3 )
| CandyCaneVamp chapter 2 . 2/20/2012
This is so different that it's amazing! love it