|Reviews for Apples|
| Zydrate Infused Lies chapter 1 . 3/16/2012
write more please!
| J chapter 1 . 1/9/2012
Ooooh, a twist at the end. Well done, m'dear. As always.
| MissVD chapter 1 . 1/5/2012
Great job! Keep writing!
| Virtuous Vampire chapter 1 . 1/5/2012
Your wallpost had me scurrying over here immediatly.P This is a wonderful one-shot...like finding a fresh, gleaming apple among a pile of rotten ones if you'll excuse the horribe pun. It cerainly enriched my evening.
I've never seen this concept fleshed out in any fanfic. The idea that anyone who left Vaseria would be found eventually and hunted down. Thank you for clearing that up for me as whenever I watch the film and witness the brides' vicious attack on the village I find myself thinking- 'Why doesn't anyone move for Chrissakes?' This one-shot was creepily accurate in that it showed that Dracula simply wouldn't tolerate it.
Sometimes nostalgia would creep up on her like a thief in the night, bringing with it a homesickness that pricked at her heart
I just love the phrasing of that.:)
"One is enough for I only have one mouth."
An innocent enough line from a potentail consumer yet it sent a shiver down my spine. A casual rebuke but it also draws attention to his fangs in a subtle manner. From the first line you've depicted Dracula perfectly as he is outwardly very gentlemanly but there is always a mild sinister undertone.
I love that his accent was what alerted her. Very realistic and it also allowed a few seconds of suspense to sink in before her eyes confirmed what she had heard.
I thoroughly enjoyed the transition from past tense to present tense as Maria begins to run for her life. Before the encounter with the Count she had been reminiscing slightly but his intervention jerked her rudely back to the present with no benefit of predictability or hindsight in her actions. The narration definitely definitely took a more urgent turn(which you no doubt intendedP). The suddenness of her change in demeanor is also very reminiscint of a nightmare- a routine of apple selling broken by the sudden entrance of a bogeyman...love love love.
Turning left into the area where cloth is sold she stops dead when she spots him again, calmly eating his apple, observing her like he would one of the silks on the market stand next to him.
That there is a wonderful image. He's partaking in a very ordinary action and viewing her like an object. His lack of an obvious "evil" disposition has the opposite effect to me. The fact that he isn't reveling in her terror only further emphasises his dettachment from her- simply a matter of predator and prey. The image of him simply eating his apple also brings to mind Geoffrey Rush's gratifying munch into his green apple at the end of the second Pirates of the Caribbean movie but maybe thats just
Seeking sanctuary in a church? This just gets better and better.
With a cheeky grin he had kissed her again and promised her he'd be back for her at the next full-moon.
Did I just blush because I saw the words 'cheeky grin'? God I'm more under his influence than I thought.P Very in-character thing for him to do. Bravo!
I enjoyed how he wasn't malicious when he finally won, he merely states the fact that he is the winner. He now feels entitles to claim his prize. Once again, sublime characterization.
"Well met again, Marishka. Well met indeed." AHHHHHHHHHHHH! I never suspected it was her! *Applauds*
Brilliant one-shot honey I hope you'll write another!
| ForeverACharmedOne chapter 1 . 1/4/2012
EEEee! Something new from you! :D
And DANG I enjoyed it. Well written, missy. ;) The little details, the flashback, giving us little things, just enough to wet our appetite and then WAMMO. I totally didn't see the ending coming with it being Marishka. I applaud you. And it was a very interesting idea for a backstory for my least hated bride. haha.
Augh. So much love for this. So much. I can't even tell you. So glad your muse has made a return for however long it sticks around. :) I cannot wait to read more from you.
| Aeon Hawk chapter 1 . 1/4/2012
Wow, this is brilliant! You've written this...beautifully!