Reviews for SelfLoathing
Lilly Winters chapter 1 . 12/30/2014
This is breathtaking. The amount of power behind every word and sentence is truly amazing. You depicted each character very well and laced throughout their histories a touch of sorrow so that you feel bad for each one; Schala because her mother works her until the point of exhaustion, Magus because there is nothing but sorrow and darkness in his soul, and Janus for he is completely naive to what he will grow up to become. Wonderful story. I loved every single bit of it.
Stariceling chapter 1 . 3/16/2013
This is wonderfully written! Probably the best Zeal-era story I've ever seen. I love how you've packed so much of the oppressive atmosphere into such a short fic. "Stay out of my way, or you will become me." Yeesh, that's a serious threat for the reader, knowing what it means. I really feel for Janus here.
Legendary Biologist chapter 1 . 10/25/2012
I thoroughly enjoyed this story. It is full of emotion and the word choice is fitting to the gloomy mood of the story. Well, I like that you portrayed Janus' care for Schala, especially when he confronted the prophet, but sadly, he wasn't able to do anything much. And the ending is a bit sad yet mysterious.

I have only one suggestion, about the quotes. IMHO, it seems to be better if the subject is placed in front of the predicate, such as this one:
"Where do you think he came from?" asks Schala (I always feel that if it is 'Schala asks' sounds better)

Overall, this story is a beautiful piece and I love it! :)
Zephra85 chapter 1 . 2/11/2012
I quite enjoyed that, very nicely done!
ChocolateTeapot chapter 1 . 1/12/2012
Great work! Janus' portrayal is brilliant, he seems really miserable and also just a bit uncanny. The way he relates to Schala is also really good. I particularly like how he confronts the prophet.