|Reviews for Primula's after story|
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/21/2013
this isnt that good needs some work
| Mr.Kokomo chapter 1 . 1/10/2012
Okay so far... It's a bit short and your vocabulary could use a little work.
Now to your character; not much was really shown about him. This is where you're gonna want to be careful. We don't want to read about a Gary Stu who gets the girl in a matter of hours or days. What I want you to do is think about the direction you want to take with your character, and fear not about going further. This is - I'm assuming- your first fic, so be ready to learn, you have critics, I have mine, that kind of stuff.
Now, back to your character, we do know he's American, and he is okay with communicating with the locals. Now; do you plan on making your character a bit gritty? Shy? Like I said before, be ready to make some choices.
I'll keep a watchful eye.