|Reviews for Alqualondë|
| WalkingInTalaria chapter 1 . 5/10/2015
Yes, actually, it is shocking. While I've never seen a Tolkien poem with lines this short, the words and descriptions seem just like the sort of thing he would write.
| Teddy0407 chapter 1 . 5/23/2013
Wow... that is an amazing poem.
| LornaWinters chapter 1 . 1/7/2013
This was great! I liked the second to last stanza the best "And burnt the ships, He stole in haste, And their white sails ash laid waste" LOVE IT! Thanks again for writing!
| Morgaur chapter 1 . 9/24/2012
Puts me in mind of the poem in the Silmarillion that starts "He chanted a song of wizardry...". The part about the theft of the ships. Good.
Are you sure you're not Tolkein - reincarnated? ;-)
| Sauron Gorthaur chapter 1 . 2/27/2012
Wow, another great poem, short but laden with such power and beauty. Poetry is all about brevity, conveying emotion and imagery with as few words as possible, and you certainly know how to do that. In a mere five quatrains, you’ve powerfully described one of the most horrific events in The Silmarillion, and you’ve done it well. As I said in my other review, I’m a big fan of traditional poetry, especially when it’s well done, and this is very well done. Once again, the lines flow, the rhymes feel completely natural, and you mix up the rhyme scheme enough that it doesn’t become monotonous, but it’s still regular enough that it flows. There’s some lovely alliteration, as well (“Cursed, he came” and “Blood on the Brine” for example).
The imagery is also fantastic, especially that first quatrain, which was my favorite stanza. What a way to start, with the blood swirling on the water and the gliding ships – so powerful. Those last two lines end the poem as powerfully as you began it, starting with blood and ending with blood. The image of Feanor trailed by bloody water is horrific, but wonderfully vivid.
Your specific word choices also add so much to the horror and desolation of this event. “Steals”, “graves”, “cursed”, “fey”, “laid waste”, “forsaken” – all these words enhance the dark mood of the poem, the feeling of heavy doom that is laid over the whole piece, appropriately enough since this is the event that dooms the Noldor forever. Even describing the stars as pale is so startlingly appropriate, since elves are so much about the brightly shining stars. Even the stars have turned dark, representing the darkness of the people they represent in a way. You’re also using an archaic, heightened vocabulary, such as “o’er”, “fey”, “hither shore”, “to naught he set”, which is appropriate again considering the “high” epic topic you are addressing. The archaic language adds an suitable gravity to the poem.
As far as the poetry, language, etc. goes, I have only one revising suggestion to make, and that is concerning your first two words: “Red blood”. The beginning and end of a poem need to be the most driving and powerful, and I think you have that, except for this. “Blood-red” is a cliché phrase, and unless we’re dealing with orcs or some strange type of creature, blood is generally red. Poetry has a lot to do with imagery, making the reader see something in a new light. I love that you begin and end the poem with the bloody water, but I would suggest you find a different adjective to describe the blood, especially since it’ll be your first word, something that really describes that blood in a different, surprising, maybe even shocking, way. I’m sorry, I’m not sure exactly what the word should be, but I’ll let you chew on it.
By the way, I like how you started with the quote. Reading Tolkien’s powerful description of the event, then diving into your poem was great. The lordly language you use poetically is extremely reminiscent of Tolkien’s Silmarillion prose, which makes a nice comparison between the quote and your verse.
Also, thanks for the mention, and I’m glad my poetry and review were helpful to you. I hope you find something useful in this review as well. I also want to read your “Akallabeth” as soon as I have the chance – I look forward to another great poem :) Keep up the fantastic writing and editing.
| JuneGilbertVivianRaeven chapter 1 . 2/5/2012
Even though im not too sure what this poem is about, it is beautiful. Tear worthy, if i do say so myself. Celt, you are the Poetry Queen.
| Erwen Brogiel chapter 1 . 1/13/2012
Ooh, this is nice. It managed to create very vivid images in my head, and I like the way it starts of by contrasting red blood and pearly waves. Well done!
| Mornen chapter 1 . 1/10/2012
The imagery to this poem was beautiful. As well as the way that it was written from what seemed an outsider's perspective, so that it reminded me of the legends and lays that were passed down from generation to generation. It had a very old style to it that helped accentuate the pain and the madness of the kinslaying. Beautifully done!
| CrackinAndProudOfIt chapter 1 . 1/8/2012
That was great! I loved the way your rhymes flowed so naturally, and your imagery was really powerful! Fantastic work!
| Galad Estel chapter 1 . 1/6/2012
This was lovely
| Duilin chapter 1 . 1/5/2012
That's a pretty nice poem! :)