|Reviews for Broken promise|
| animegirl222 chapter 1 . 2/10/2016
i love it! plz update soon.. jiro is such an idiot sometimes
| amanifaiz101 chapter 1 . 7/19/2014
Pls make a second CHAPTER!
| Me chapter 1 . 6/4/2014
Dude u have to update this chapter is really good x)
| Inita chapter 1 . 1/11/2012
Seeing how I was unable to update your fanfic in time, I guess I'll make up for it by reviewing some of your fanfics :) I'm sorry I haven't been doing that... I havent' been reading much online lately :/ Most of it is just actual novels and books and I'm not as interested in fanfics as I used to be... But regardless, I'm going to comment on this piece for two reasons: 1. It's Kitty's birthday gift; 2. It's Jiro/Kluke xD
There are a few words and phrases that are a /bit/ choppy here and there in the flashback... Specifically Kluke when she says 'the words were out before I could stop myself'; personally, I see this phrase only accomodating with third person, but you can leave it here :) Plus, this is a /birthday/ fanfic, so I'm going to try and avoid critiquing as much as possible... I just got into a beta reading mood today due to school, so... Yeah...
I do agree with Yamadori; Shu snoring and the noise waking up Kluke greatly makes him seem 'in-character' :) I guess this is due to episode 13 in season 1 as well as the flashback in episode 15, where it's implied that he was sleeping, Kluke's banging the pots and pans to wake him up xD
I am a bit confused at where this takes place... Perhaps it's the wording you used, or maybe I'm just avoiding details...
Jiro and Kluke's fight was a bit upsetting, but it was to be expected. I myself wondered why he never visitied Kluke in the /first/ place, but I suppose that's how the cookie crumbles :/ Personally, I think Kluke's character was a bit choppy here and there, but it's just a few bugs; nothin' to worry about...
Kitty loved it and Yamadori liked it, and I have to admit, I liked it too ;) I'm dying to see the update and I'm curious as to how Jiro's going to respond to Kluke bailing out on him...
Update whenever, Loome
| Yamadori chapter 1 . 1/11/2012
This is pretty good, Loome! :D And from the looks of it, Kitty really likes it. :) I was going to critique this... But I feel guilty writing a critique for a birthday present. XD If you want, though, I'll send one in a separate PM. :) For now, this review will just contain opinions, observations, "points of interest" and other assorted things.
* I'm presuming that this flashback happens around Episode 51, after the defeat of the Darkness but before the scene with Shu and Jiro. In any case, it doesn't matter too much - because it's great to see a Jiro x Kluke moment for the anime wherever it is. XD
* Though he doesn't seem to do it very much in Tenkai (has he grown out of it, perhaps? I don't know), Shu's snoring waking up Kluke is just... I'm not sure how to put it, but I think that "really in-character" probably comes close. :)
* While it's sad to see Kluke and Jiro fighting, they're conversation (or fight, rather) brought up a point that I've always wondered about: why Jiro never visited any of them. I attempted to explore this a bit myself in stories like "Avec Tu" and "Nakama", but I've continued to be curious about it.
* Even though I felt bad for Kluke, I felt that way even more towards Jiro. I don't think she realized it, but with the last thing Kluke said to Jiro, I can't help but think that she's hit a nerve. :(
I'm looking forward to seeing the rest, Loome! :D
| Pheeja chapter 1 . 1/6/2012
ThankYou sooo much Loome :) this was great...Gosh is Jiro really a clueless Idiot? or is he pretending?
Hate it wen boys do that ;P
I have a little something 4r u too... you'll see it on Sunday, 8th. XD glad how much our birthdays are so close XD im two days older than u ;P
Plus, i have to say your writing has really improved. :D
Thanks for writing this :) nd update...i want to know wat the clueless idiot does ;)