|Reviews for Happily Ever After I'm Dead|
| LunarFay chapter 33 . 6/14/2013
All in all, this had a cute level to the max!
Baby twins! Awwwwww x3 too cute
Harry's dark past felt unnecessary because this story had no reason to deal with that, harry wasn't getting over trauma & trust issues. It just felt out of place.
Thank you for sharing your writing :3
| LunarFay chapter 24 . 6/14/2013
I love this, it's cute!
Your writing style is quite enjoyable, & you have talent.
But your story is so gosh darn inconstant! (Sorry if I sound like I'm bashing on you in the next part, I'm just pointion some details out)
You lose track of things you say in previous chapters to easily
I mean for peats sake harry drs overed his crush for Draco 3 times & would the promptly forget his realizations for a mother sudden discovery about a crush on Draco! How many times can someone come to the realization " omg I like _" with out it sticking, really?
& Draco . . . In chapter one clamed girls did nothin for him & the idea of men repulsed him. . . & then he's just gay? Nothing lead to him going from A-sexual to gay. You just changed his stance with no reason.
Also your view on female kind is narrow-minded
What I think you could do to improve your writing is have a organized chapter lay out , in what chapter you want important a things to happen. Things like realizations, observations, confessions, important events
(I like to do time-lines)
Also re-read your work & get a person to look over your work, it could take out spelling mistakes, word misuse, & inconstancies
Anyways I hope that helps you in your next work, there were a coupe more things you had the were inconsistent with the story but unless you want me to tell you I will just keep those to myself
Again sorry if this sounds like burning & bashing or whatever, I'm not trying to do that
I'll hopefully write to you in the last chapter as well :3
Bye for now
| DolbyDigital chapter 32 . 6/1/2013
I really liked how Draco broke Harry's hand - my aunt broke my uncle's hand when she had my cousin, and she bit him - and I also liked that you included the fact that all babies are born with blue eyes and they change colour over time. It really annoys me for some reason when people write about new born babies having green or brown eyes (for example) as that is not possible. I think their daughter's hair seems a bit long, though, babies usually have very short, fine hair and it doesn't really start to curl into ringlets until it gets coarser. This was a really great fic; I'm glad that you posted :)
| DolbyDigital chapter 31 . 6/1/2013
I'm kind of glad that you didn't write out their vows, it gets a bit tedious to read after a while and I always end up skipping that part. The only thing with this chapter was that I thought the wedding band went on your left ring finger? I could be wrong.
| DolbyDigital chapter 30 . 6/1/2013
I really love all of the details that you've put into this chapter, it really helped the scene to come alive - and the garden sounds beautiful :)
| DolbyDigital chapter 29 . 6/1/2013
This was a really sweet chapter, I liked seeing Draco's views on the good and bad sides of their relationship and how it's progressed in the last few weeks.
| DolbyDigital chapter 28 . 5/31/2013
Oh, that's an interesting plot twist. I wonder how this different aspect of Harry's personality will affect his relationship with Draco, especially as it's something about himself that he's kept completely hidden from everyone, and repressed all of the emotions that come with it.
| DolbyDigital chapter 27 . 5/30/2013
I hope Draco's OK, and I really hope that he accepts. I kind of don't want this fic to end, but there's only a few chapters left.
| DolbyDigital chapter 26 . 5/30/2013
I really want to know what Harry's up to, now. I'm guessing we'll find out soon? Hopefully.
| DolbyDigital chapter 25 . 5/30/2013
I really liked all the details you put into the maternity/absence leave part. And I really liked how surprised Draco was when Harry suggested the idea; like a Gryffindor is so honourable they can't cheat the government out of money.
| DolbyDigital chapter 24 . 5/30/2013
Never mind; the bed question was answered. I really like how this chapter ended, and I hope that they can continue their relationship. Congratulations on becoming an uncle about a year ago - a bit late, I know.
| DolbyDigital chapter 23 . 5/30/2013
I really liked this chapter, and I'm glad they talked and got things mostly worked out between them. There was one thing that confused me, though - was Draco's bed in the garden? If so, why?
| DolbyDigital chapter 22 . 5/29/2013
I hope Harry talks to Draco about his feelings soon, but I'm glad that he agreed to do that for him. There were a few grammatical and spelling errors in this chapter, but they weren't really that noticeable, so well done on another great chapter :)
| DolbyDigital chapter 21 . 5/29/2013
I really like that Harry didn't answer straight away - it's possibly a life-changing decision and he should think about it a lot before he answers. Ideally he should probably think it over for a few days - they both should - but as taking too long could result in Draco's death, I do understand the time frame.
| DolbyDigital chapter 20 . 5/29/2013
I think maybe Draco's reaction would have been a little more subdued, but I'm really glad he's excited about the baby. There was one part that really confused me, though - are Hermione and Tonks together and the boys are both of theirs, or did you mean something different?