Reviews for Waiting for Puck
A True Hufflepuff 13 chapter 1 . 12/31/2013
I really love this piece! It's such a clever little poem; and it adds to Shakespear's "A Midsummer Night's Dream" beautifully. I love the alliteration with "ludicrous lovers," and also how the last two lines rhyme. Little things like that all throughout the piece give it a nice flow. Your line breaks seem to be in all the right places; how do you do that? I'm no good at playing stuff by ear. I've read the work of people who are moderately good at it, but you are an expert at this sort of stuff. Keep up the good work!
Megalink1126 chapter 1 . 12/16/2013
So, I don't really know anything about A Midsummer's Night Dream, nor have I really ever read Shakespearean fanfiction and I don't usually read poems, so if I sound like I have no idea what I'm talking about, there's a fairly good chance that's the case. xD

That being said, I did like it, even if I feel like I didn't fully understand everything you were trying to get across because of my fandom-blindness. The tone and the language of the piece I thought fit really, really nicely. It sort of felt like an older English kind of poem, just with a bit more modern word choices and sentence structures here and there, and it fit the whole Shakespeare kind of thing nicely. I also really liked the use of the word "bunkum". It's such an unusual word, and no one ever really uses it, like, ever, so I thought it was a nice little addition to the piece.

Other than that, I think you did a really cool job presenting Puck's character to the audience here, with each little section sort of focusing on different examples to present an overall sort of theme. Puck (or at least, that's who I'm assuming the poem is describing and so hopefully I'm not completely wrong) seems sort of like a bit of a trickster, but also very affectionate and caring towards the person the poem is addressing, and it was nice to sort of get this picture of his character in only a few lines.

But yes, overall, very good job with this!
Esther Huffleclaw chapter 1 . 10/18/2013
This is so cute. You've done an admirable job of describing the character in so few words. I've always loved Shakespeare, especially the comedies. When we studied him in high school, it was always the tragedies, so I sought the comedies out and read them on my own. A Midsummer Night's Dream is one of my favourites, because of the surreality and strangeness of it.

Puck is a fascinating character. He reminds me of Loki. He's not good, but not evil either. And yes, "Nothing is wasted while waiting for Puck." That line makes me smile.
Winged-Violoncelle chapter 1 . 10/17/2013
[For SOTW] Reading Shakespearean fanfiction is definitely a first for me, and I must say this was a great introduction :). It's been a while since I've brushed up on Midsummer Night's Dream, so I'd have to categorize myself more as fandom blind than anything else. But my faint memory of the work certainly didn't stop me from enjoying the piece, such mischievous magic is within your words and even your choice of punctuation (namely, the parentheses)!

In fact I hardly know how to describe what I felt after reading it. Your second-person PoV did the trick, and lured me in there, and I felt as if I was in the middle of a daydream myself, waiting in a daze for a mischievous grin to happen upon me and whisk me off to unknown joy. The feeling was amazing and made me smile.

I'm no expert on poetry, and I can't critique the technical aspects of it, but poetry is mean to convey feelings like any other form of writing, and I wouldn't hesitate at all to tell you that I felt every bit of the magic within your work :). There isn't a thing I would critique except for the apparent lack of apostrophes which others have remarked on, and I shall leave you with my thanks for posting the work and brightening my (and many others') day! :)

All the best,
starlight.moon.princess chapter 1 . 10/17/2013
I must admit, I'm rather rusty with canon on this one - I read the play what seems like forever ago, so any comments on characterisation come solely from what I remember of the events of the play :)

I really liked the way you've described Puck here, not as the mischievous fairy we see in the play, but more protective of the narrator. I really liked how you've contrasted this protectiveness with his title as "Goodfellow," how he is perfectly willing to take revenge on that offending person.

I wish you had made the "you" a bit more clearer - I'm not quite sure if it's supposed to be a canon character or just a generic narrator.
Also, I noticed you seem to missing the apostrophes in your contractions - [doesn t] instead of [doesn't], etc.

But apart from that, this was a lovely read. Well done! :)
StrawberryDuckFeathers chapter 1 . 10/16/2013
. For Story of the Week threat in the RLT . . Archive Staffer . . Fandom-blind!.

Ooh, Shakespeare fanfic! This is different. :) The first stanza is nice; at first Puck seems a little mysterious, but then I like how he has a memorable scent, like he's a memorable person, or maybe it's that sense of how strong someone's scent is when they're hugging you. I think that and the 'embrace' and the smelling of 'earth' and 'mischief' all mixes together to give him a very personal feel to whoever's receiving the hug. :) I like how there's still that feeling of mischief, with the 'minimally', but there's still a sense at the care is still there, and it's quite subtly sweet. I also like the sense that he doesn'ty seem to believe in the surrel either (at lest that's how I interpreted it; sorry if I'm wrong.) I also like how there's the idea of him saving someone from their nightmares and distracting them with happy tales. However this seems to contrast with the above stanza for me; he doesn't seem to believe in prayer or things like that, nothing that isn't real, and yet he'll use fairy tales about mermaids and cherubs to make others feel better. :) I also like the odd use of old, archaic ( I think that's the right word) words in here as well to maintain that Shakespearean feel (if I remember rightly 'tarry' is one. Once again, sorry if I'm wrong.) I really loved this line: (And day-dream, even if miserable rain turns the ground to muck.) I like it since there's the idea that, with Puck, one can be carefree even in the most dreary of places. :) Lovely job.

. (cherubs arrows ) This part would need an apostrophe- [cherubs' arrows] :) .
. (while he s out ) This part would need a contraction apostrophe: [while he's out]. :)
- - - - - - - - -
Great job! Keep it up! :D
kamizon chapter 1 . 10/16/2013
This poem was written well with a lot of thought-provoking lines(in my POV) and it has a lot of weight in so few lines. What bothers me is; this poem doesn't stand out to some of us who aren't familiar with Puck and related characters. To me it was confusing the first three times I read it. But I was able to grasp the meaning after I critically looked at it line by line.

It was a nice read. Like a breath of fresh air.
zanganito chapter 1 . 10/15/2013
I enjoyed reading this. There is a lot said with just a few words, and you characterize Puck well as a trickster. When I read this, I felt that the poem reflects sort of the fleeting way that Puck comes and goes. He might be mischievous, but he’s not a malevolent prankster, and I thought it was interesting to see what he meant to the narrator, even being a “guardian angel” by rescuing them from night terrors.

I liked your word choice in this, especially your lines: “Pinned in the mandible of night terrors”, and “Smelling like earth and mischief”.

I didn’t notice anything that could be improved while reading – it's great as it is. Good job with this!
Rosawyn chapter 1 . 10/15/2013
I know very little about 'A Midsummer's Night Dream,' so I do know who the "you" here is - if it's meant to be some canon character or the reader or whatever. I am somewhat familiar with the character of Puck (from 'Gargoyles,' lol - I'm assuming his characterization is a bit different there, heh).

I liked the flow of this poem, and the way it sounded in my head, sort of soft and musical. :)

I like how Puck sneaks up behind the other person sometimes to surprise them rather than greeting them. There seems to be a lot of affection there.

It's lovely to see Puck help his friend through night terrors as well.

And...this may sound really weird, but...Puck here reminds me a lot of the Doctor from Doctor Who. He makes his friend wait for him because he doesn't seem to quite grasp time as mortals see it, and that reminds me so much of how the Doctor often shows up two years too late. :D Maybe Puck is a Time Lord! :O
Ersatz Einstein chapter 1 . 10/15/2013
This was wonderful. It really creates the sense of a world outside of Shakespeare's play, one more in keeping with the mythology from which he drew it. The allusions to guardian spirits and protection from attackers added a modern touch. (I particularly enjoyed the bit about "those that break the skin and form the bruises.")
On a more negative note, you have a very confusing clause error (first line of second stanza), and I don't know if it's the site, but there are spaces instead of apostrophes.
Nevertheless, I think that this is a beautiful conception of an unusual topic, and you really added something to/made me want to re-read my least favorite Shakespeare play.
MessengerOfDreams chapter 1 . 7/19/2013
I have no clue what is going on in this fandom and I still think this is legitimately sweet. It manages to strike a chord of affection and tenderness without going straight to over-the-top worship. I love it when stories find balance; it's more convincing. Your words are very well chosen, and they flow together very well, painting a beautiful tale with such few words. I get a feel of who Puck is, who the narrator is, and how they sort of coexist. It's really beautiful in that way. I love it. Great work.
Edhla chapter 1 . 7/13/2013
Instafaved. I LOVE A Midsummer Night's Dream and I'm thrilled to find such sophisticated, beautifully-written Puck fanfic :)

"Since he..." I'd consider reworking/tightening this line. It's a little clichéd, as well as being a sentence fragment in a glaring sort of way ("Or nasty...'" later is one that really works well.)

"Earth and mischief." I love you without reservation for this combination, and for the aside about the temperament of goblins, and the "mandible of night terrors" which should be framed. Oh, bliss. Well done x
MissScorp chapter 1 . 7/9/2013
I enjoyed this poem. I read Midsummer a summer ago for a Humanities class so I am familiar with the character of Puck (who I feel is represented as an evil little sprite or trickster type that torments characters in the play for his own amusement). You play up that trickster motif here by opening the poem with the line: ((You have to idle constantly;/ it increases your odds of a chance meeting/ while he's out having his fun.)) You establish that the individual you reference is whimsical and capricious and that by feigning being idol you stand the greatest chance of him showing up to either lure you into a game or play a trick upon you.

Couple other lines I really liked:

((Nothing is wasted while waiting for Puck.))-I like how you incorporated the title into the ending line of the poem. It makes the title stand out and be more memorable in a readers mind.

((As his ward, he seems to feel (minimally) responsible for your well-being.))-Again, a real sense of the whimsy of this sprite is revealed here, but at the same time there is also the suggestion that he does perhaps care as well. Very nice character building and use of compare and contrast here.

((Pinned in the mandible of night terrors, he grips tight and spirits you away,))-I just loved the image here of nightmares being a realistic, living thing that can grip us tight in their fist and refuse to let us go unless a lovable sprite comes along to break the nightmares hold and lead us off to a place of fantasy (represented as mermaids and hapless lovers in your following lines).

Just a few punctuation points I wanted to point out:
((he s, doesn t))- just missing the '. Easy to miss in edit because our brains are hard wired to fill in gaps like this. Just thought I would point it out though :)

Other than that I truly liked the poem. It worked to describe the capricious whim of Puck while also suggesting that he wasn't all about tricks and games at the same time. Excellent job!
ReadingBlueWolf chapter 1 . 7/8/2013
It’s nice the way you open it up with Puck’s different greetings. I thought that was a really nice way to start off. The hug smelling of earth and mischief was awesome. I loved that detail. The fact this is in second person is absolutely brilliant. That is such a difficult feat to pull off and you did it really nicely in this piece. I love that you bring in the topics of the tales told consisting of mermaids and cherubs. That’s lovely. Really nice job on this, it’s fantastic.
darkaccalia520 chapter 1 . 7/7/2013
A Midsummer Night's Dream is one of my favorites, and I adore Puck so I had to see what this was about. I really love how this captures Puck's tendency to show up when least expected, but through all his shenanigans, I love that you captured the fact he was responsible for the well-being of everyone. I also adored the last stanza completely, how you captured everything about the play.

I did find the loss of apostrophe's a bit distracting. If it were mine, I'd be sure to put them in, though you might have a stylistic reason for doing so I don't understand.

But overall, I loved this. Favoriting. Well done. :)
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