|Reviews for The Dawn of Change|
| Spooths chapter 9 . 11/3/2011
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU'RE FUCKING BASTARD GODDAMN ASS! WILL YOU JUST UPDATE THIS THING YOU PATHETIC MORON! IT HAS BEEN EIGHT, EIGHT FUCKING YEARS! EIGHT YEARS! THAT'S UNACCEPTABLE! UPDATE THIS GODDAMN ACCURSED THING!
PARDON MY FRENCH: (REALLY, SORROW FOR THE SWEARING)
| Everwild chapter 1 . 6/14/2011
This story looks promising and most of your writing is very good. You have a few grammar mistakes though, one that I see all too often is "could of" instead of "could've" or "could have". It's surpisingly common.
| TexasDreamer01 chapter 9 . 4/26/2009
*poke* *eyes you suspiciously* I love this story and all, but, er, the grammar sucks. Terribly.
*apologetic* Update soon?,
| Estaye Ravencroft chapter 9 . 4/12/2009
dude keep on writing your realy good at this! fyi love the sensitive arty!
| JackFrost23 chapter 9 . 3/28/2009
IS THIS GOING TO BE ONE OF THOSE ARTEMIS/HOLLY STORIES? I AM SO LOVING THIS STORY RIGHT NOW! PLEASE UPDATE SOON!
| Dragongirl chapter 9 . 1/26/2007
Uh, last update... three years ago? Is this abandoned? Am I never going to find out what's going to happen? PLEASE update!
| Musicallity chapter 9 . 1/10/2007
this is pretty good considering you only had the info of two books(wheras now there is five... and hopefully there will be a sixth) i'm looking forward to hearing more... although don't make holly kiss artyy again... please? if you pair her up with anyone please make it Trouble
| Duchess192 chapter 9 . 11/16/2006
Please do continue this story it's good:)
| Sir Gawain of Camelot chapter 5 . 8/10/2005
i'm sorry, please don't take this too personally, but the circumstances in this fic are impossible. Everyone knows Foaly would be hundreds of times more helpful in the ops booth. and they would never trust opal. (who is, by the way, in a coma) Root, Holly, Trouble, and Chix are so fired after this. exposing the fairy world to two mudmen. and not just any two mudmen, but the parents of The Artemis Fowl? and then taking one down to haven? (you weren't too clear on that.) what are pressurised elevators? what happened to the chutes?
"saw immediately that their irises were jagged deeply" exactly how close was holly? and how big are those bushes? a centur, two mudmean, tree elves and a sprite all fit into them?
"(Holly thought in her head)" this line is really unnecisary, and distracts from the story.
"”They have more gold. We get richer. More money.”" good job copying the speach patterns of the mesmered.
"“I have heard that some of fairies, sprites, pixies, elves, and goblins who have been recently attached to collecting such riches like you have mentioned.” " since when have mudmen got the haven newspaper? how does he know this?
is this cudgeon? that's the only fairy i can think of that would have grudes against all those people.
"But when he glanced to her side, he scowled. It was Commander Root." holly and Root are in plain sight? or can Random Evil Person see through bushes?
"He didn’t hear the Mud Man with the huge rock in his hands approach him from behind." why not? root is the best of the best.
"Holly grabbed his shirt and lifted him up. She threw him against a tree, and knocked him unconscious." how, pray tell? she's a freakin meter tall! wait... that tallifying potion... how do the fairys fit in their own homes?
"Mr. Fowl, on the other hand, took two men at the same time; one in each of his hands held them high and threw them to the ground." O_O highly unlikely. he's a buisness man!
"“Well the time I spent watching the Mafiya, I learned a few tricks myself …”" he was unconcious, blindfolded, or in a teeny room asking for caviar the whole time. he naver saw any action. the mafia goes in more for snipers, anyway.
why does Arty have Holly's number? sorry, i'm nitpicking. but once i seriously critice a story, i SERIOUSLY critice it.
that's all i see at the moment! if i hurt you feelings, even a little, please email or IM me. My AIM is froggiesrcool77 it may not be important to you, but it's important to me. i usally try and stop things like flames. this wasn't one by the way. you have an ingenious plot going here. you just need to think your plot devices through. was it neciscary to have the fowls know? you killed Butler... ;_;
| Indecisive Mind chapter 9 . 4/27/2005
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
WHY AREN'T YOU UPDATING! I LOVE THIS STORY! I WANT TO FIND OUT WHO AGENT Z IS! I WANT TO FIND OUT IF HOLLY AND ARTEMIS ESCAPE OR WHEN MULCH GOES TO HELP THEM AND I WANT TO SEE CUDGEON SEVERLY INJURED OR CAPTURED OR WHATEVER I WANT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS! SO UPDATE! WHY AREN'T YOU UPDATING! WHY? WHY? WHY? ITS BEEN LIKE THREE YEARS! HAVE YOU GONE INTO A COMA? I'LL PAY FOR THE BEST HOSPITAL EVER TO GET U OUT OF THAT COMA SO U CAN FINISH THIS STORY! UPDATE!
that's the last time i eat chocolate and review a story.
| Rhauth chapter 9 . 12/7/2004
G! well you could make artemis been beaten in front of Holly... that will be funnier...you know what I mean...write quick...
| MiZtreSZ of MaSterMiNDz chapter 9 . 8/10/2004
i know the last time u updated wuz feb of last year, but i wuz looking at sum old AF fanfics and urs is rely good. Especially the part wen u had Holly kiss Artemis just cuz he told her 2 (imma sucker for HollyArtemis) and the whole jealousy plot is great. Since u have no more chapters up you didn't fulfill ur promise of telling us who Agent Z is, although I have a good idea of who he is. Well, to keep this reader happy, i guess u have 2 do wut u do best- write this story!
| me chapter 9 . 6/24/2004
its good. i like how its goin even tho im not a big fan of the af/holly relationships but thats just cause shes like 80 years older than him but its really good the way u put it.
| Zappendu chapter 9 . 5/25/2004
eek! go on!
well, i think it's another perfect story.. lots of parts with foaly and trouble *hehe*
| Zappendu chapter 5 . 5/25/2004
süß! i mean, cute!
Holly jumped onto Foaly’s back. Foaly just looked at her in disgust. “What do you think I am? Some kind of pony ride?