|Reviews for The Too Good to Be True Raid|
| 2lieutenant chapter 15 . 4/4
I have started to go back and read old fanfic. I have mused over this one for a year now.
I may be wrong, but are you slightly poking fun of all the Mary Sues out there? In the first chapter, MK Knight manages to charm them. She's attractive, smart, and almost embodies all the characteristics of a quintessential Mary Sue. She fixes the jeep, but then brushes off the compliments. She's too good to be true, and that's exactly what you reveal as the story progresses. Are you alluding to the fact that often Mary Sues become the poison of an author's story? We, whether meaning to or not, insert parts of ourselves into our Mary Sues. Every young girl wants that movie and book love story. We forget that to get that love story, we must go through pain. We overlook everything and simply focus on the ending. The fairy-tale ending.
Oh, I loved Dietrich in this. I think you do an amazing job writing him. He is a complicated character to write, I have found.
You did an excellent job writing this OC. You made her human by the end. I hope I haven't completely gotten it all wrong. That would be slightly embarrassing. I find I cannot express all my thoughts coherently, so I will simply end by saying I am, as always, in awe of your writing. Also, thank you for helping me with my own writing. I hope I have improved because of it.
| petuniadoodle chapter 3 . 10/23/2017
I laughed out loud where you had Dietrich listing the doctor's talents and saying that it was a missed opportunity that the allies left the women home or they would have won the war already!
Great story so far with the guy googling the doctor and then learning to respect her for her talents.
| tullyfan chapter 15 . 7/9/2016
This chapter, although necessary to the plot, I rather skimmed through. It reminds me of how I initially (and still today) watch the TV (and you tube) RP episodes. I spend a lot of time watching what tully is doing in the background! I've missed whole plots just watching the backgrounds of whole episode!
In one early episode, they all turn to go back to the jeeps - in the background, Tully jumps up on the hood and vaults over the windshield, and slithers into the drivers 'seat while the others, quickly get to their jeep and slide in! No, none of this applies to your story, but I enjoyed it all and I'll look forward to reading more of your RP stories. I can't tell for sure, but I hope you are still writing RP stories, and if so, continue writing but do not forget "the lads" and give them something to do beside babysit the jeeps.
| tullyfan chapter 14 . 7/8/2016
Absolutely the perfect ending! And I still have a chapter to go (tomorrow). When Troy came in to speak to Moffitt , and being Hitch was out romancing (so what else is new?), I thought a perfect last step would be for Tully to come by since troy knew he was "somewhere" (Just onTV!) There was a lot of pychological (sp?) activity in this chapter, much of it very useful for today and much of it spoken by the "invisible man" - Tully. I liked your including Dietrich in this whole episode - that made for a better "plot". I never did like Somme at all.
Too creepy. Was he an Ally or Free French - both? I liked Moffitt's comment -"this whole thing has been less than pleasant" "Some live that others may die." Poor Moffitt was confused when he finally woke up - "as the war ended and someone forgot to tell me?" I cringe when I read or see Troy smoking; today that's seen as being so dangerous. As notedabove your ending was perfect (for me especially). Tulle reemerges from "somewhere" and had a lot of words of wisdom thereby impressing Moffitt who was far better educated and who had had a far more comfortable upbringing than Tully. Just trusting you was the only thing we could thought must Moffitt must is no harm in remembering things or folks to be a little be a little better than they actually have been, is there?
| tullyfan chapter 13 . 7/8/2016
Lots of Moffitt activity in this chapter. He was the perfect "guy" to handle this whole situation. Troy would have been out of his element on this one..
Poor Moffitt was just thinking too much like in his "advanced mathematics class". (great comparison). I never got out of remedial mathematics myself. I always wonder what "our guys" would handle their lives after the war. Susie2B has had a couple of good postwar stories. could they actually get a good night of peaceful sleep? WWI vets said going home and not hear the artillery booming was unsettling. They didn't know what to do with all the silence. Recent vets are super sensitive to fire works. MJ is certainly secretive in this story; I don't blame Moffitt for not trusting her. Moffitt showed a lot more patience in this whole episode than our Americans. Only one of "the lads" show up in this story - Hitch gets to do something useful at the end Tully is nowhere to be seen - just like the TV episodes! On to the next chapter where hopefully "the lads" will play more of a role.
| tullyfan chapter 12 . 7/7/2016
lots of questions are answered in this chapter and new ones have appeared of course. As always I focused on "the lads"- Hitch became very talkative after he had consumed a lot of the wine. Tully didn't think it quite matched up to Kentucky moonshine and probably had a stomach of iron as a result. Somme had an interesting question - of Moffitt, but really to all of them "After this incident is over, are you all going back to killing each other again." Upon learning that Troy was much better Tully's smile slowly expanded until it was ear to ear"(which always lit up the TV screen the few times we got to see it). Moffitt realized he had not been fully appreciative of the quiet support that Hitch and Tully had been lending to the group. I could just see Hitch blowing bubbles and reading a comic book and Tully trying to remember the story of Snow White from his childhood. All of which reminds us that these were ordinary guys in a very unusual situation, trying to do their best in what would turn into the "great event" of their lives, although I don't they realized it at the time
| tullyfan chapter 11 . 7/7/2016
another great moffitt chapter. Moffitt has picked up a tully/hitch response. He is "fine: when obviously not "fine"
in terms of his physical condition-no sleep and little food. MJ was wrong when she says Moffitt should have left the camp and go out and look for her. So MJ returns to make more problems. Weren't Hitch and Tully universal donors with type 0?
| tullyfan chapter 10 . 7/7/2016
A great Moffitt chapter. Of course I was focusing on the roles Hitch and Tully were playing , who were called "the boys" in this chapter. Moffitt had obviously an effect on them to the extent that Tully had picked up one of Moffitt's favorite phrases, "Piece of cake". And when Moffitt lost "his cool" it was Tully who put his "big hand" on Moffitt's back to calm him down. Nevertheless when the boys returned with Dr. Somme, they realized the were "out of the circle" in terms of what was going on. I liked the description of Dietrich as being man "a man who had made a career of being knocked down and getting back up for more. Another good chapter.
| tullyfan chapter 9 . 7/6/2016
curouiserouser (sp)- a very appropriate describing the situation facing everyone at the end of this story, Moffitt actually loses his temper with MJ "it's like giving death an open invitation" Tully had a good line: "a little work is good for a man's soul "Appareantly from his "pappy". Another good chapter with a cliff hanger. you have me hooked!
| tullyfan chapter 8 . 7/6/2016
Hitch and Tully had a little more "action" in this chapter although it was largely verbal. Hitch was of course upset that he wasn't going to be able to see troy, and after helping to subdo Hitch, tully...got a "thanks" from Moffitt to which Tully typically replied "Yep"(sounds like one of the TV scripts.) One wonders if they were bored by the lack of action for them, how they were going to fare on the homefront. Planting the south 40 in Kentucky doesn't sound particularly exciting; yet I think Moffitt and Tully probably handled the postwar the best. Poor Hitch lost his cool:"you won't even let us see them". On to the next chapter!
| tullyfan chapter 7 . 7/6/2016
GREAT CHAPTER. LOTS OF mOFFITT AND MJ AGAIN. I'm NOT SURPRIZED THAT neither OF"THE LADS" (SUCH A CUTE PHRASE FOR HITCH AND TULLY) DIDN'TWANT GO BACK TO BASE AND LEAVE MOFFITT AND TROY out in the desert The "lads" had the usual round of menial jobs but didn't complain. I must be a real dummy but I failed to understand Moffitt's comment ABOUT "Tully's pappy HAD BEEN wiser than me (Moffitt )in the current situation. You lost me on that one but Tully certainly seemed to enjoy it. I thought that another way to deal with Lefeaver would be to have "the lads" throw a few punches at him. As always a good chapter!
| tullyfan chapter 6 . 7/4/2016
last few lines about hitch and his cooking were really funny. was definitely a Moffitt - MJ chapter. Troy is also invisible until the very end. He shows great compassion for itch and tully by making moffitt promise he won't let them close to the quarantine tent if others get sick. Troy is at his finest hour there. Lots of good snappy repartee between moffitt and MJ. Hitch & Tully AS USUAL GOT TO DO THE MENIAL JOBS IN ADDITIONTO wearing the hated masks and DUB, DUB. 4 men in a tub was cute. And MOFFITT does have expressive eyebrows. I HAD NO IDEA WHATG SYLLOGISM MEANT SO I've JUST EXPANDED MY VOCABULARY! Goodstory! I'm looking forward to the next chapter tomorrow night.
| tullyfan chapter 5 . 7/3/2016
the last line was hilarious, but wasn't so to "the guys" The interactions between Moffitt and MJ, were great - you have Moffit's personality and dialog perfect - his quick wit, ever ready comeback , words under his breath, even his nuances. Troy and Hitch occasionally have nuances but not as good as moffitt's. Of course Tully doesn't have many nuances because he only rarely says anything. MJ is choosing the wrong guy however by not offering tully some tea and a discussion of the virus. Silly lady. Troy wasn't happy at all that moffitt had given his gun to MJ. He was probably baring his teeth, as he so frequently on TV. tHIS IS A REAL CLIFFHANGER BUT HAVE TO STOP. i'LL LOOK FORWARD TO THE NEXT CHAPTER TOMORROW - iNDEPENDENCE DAY AS ALWAYS, A GREAT STORY - I'm ON THE EDGE OF MY CHAIR.
| tullyfan chapter 3 . 7/2/2016
MJ I'm sure only chose to sleep next to troy because tully was unavailable. Lots of great dialog among Dietrich, Troy and Moffitt, especially Moffitt. Poor Tully was not happy at all when MJ found the loose wire on the jeep. she has out shown all the guys so far. If Dietrich questioned Moffitt's German one wonders he might feel when tully masters moffitt's lessons and tries out his german with a Kentucky accent! I think it's a loss cause for tully speaking german that anyone can understand. Moffitt planning on his future bride being a former girl guide! Moffitt's best line occurred when he said to hitch feeling sorry for him with touching poignancy of Hitch's innocent childhood memories. obviously like all the previous chapters I've read, I really like this one too, All 4 (5?) guys got some good lines and played integral parts in the story. You' havecaptured tully perfectly - not much to say, volunteering for guard duty despite there being liquor available. (What a guy!) Next chapter will be tomorrow. I; really liking this story!
| tullyfan chapter 2 . 7/2/2016
oh, a cliffhanger! How stupid I am to not notice that this is a multi chapter story, which is great! Now I'm assured of a story awaiting me now every night...Lots of tully stuff too. He put his fork down and looked interested in troy's information. A typical tully reaction Surely dr. knight didn't expect the best wheelman in north Africa to give up his seat as driver? All the guys including dietrich were enjoying the view of Dr. Knight. apparently tully paid no attention? He must have been too worried about "his baby" - the jeep. Dr knight herself doesn't easily see the best looking guy around? She must be totally blind. I could easily see in my mind tully sitting backwards on a chair, chin on his arms, chewing his matchstick. I also liked tully sayng that there wasn't much "chatting" going on in a moving jeep. I have to read one more chapter tonight