|Reviews for Checkmate|
| Moons88 chapter 10 . 12/19/2012
Wow! Incredible, I loved it. The ending was so sweet and I enjoyed how you incorporated both Eyal and Ben in this story!
| Moons88 chapter 1 . 12/19/2012
I really love this chapter :). I love the way that Eyal obviously care about Annie, I'm definitely going to keep reading this story, I loved the Eritrea one so much.
| Athena64 chapter 10 . 7/23/2012
Very nicely done! Thank you, and such a cute ending too!
| Katiemoose chapter 10 . 7/19/2012
Great story! I just finished reading Eritrea: The Choices We Make yesterday and reviewed saying that I couldn't wait to read the sequel not realizing that it was already posted! I really liked how the story ended with Auggie fighting Ben, I don't normally like guys fighting over a girl but i thought the way you wrote it, with Auggie telling Ben and everyone there how much he loved and respected Annie was just perfect. I look forward to hopefully more of stories about Covert Affairs from you!
| Guest chapter 10 . 7/1/2012
Okay, I forgive you. That was good.
| fbobs chapter 10 . 3/22/2012
I liked everything about that sequence of chapters except the fight between Ben and Auggie. You did a nice job of writing it, but it just didn't make sense to me. Ben should be in handcuffs heading off to federal prision for attempted murder. It would be a find place to keep him on ice pending his trial for treason and his execution. The man, as portrayed in your narrative, is devoid of redeaming social purpose of any kind.
I suspect Annie had the essence of that in her red folder. At least if she's smart as I think she is, she did.
I applaud your action writing. It's hard to do but you took it on and you are getting it pretty much right on. Getting the characters out of the office and bedroom into their lives. I'd really look forward to missions where Annie gets to kick some rear. Thanks for the nice variety.
That said, I have a small critique: I'd go for a more logical choice of handgun. A Glock 19 would have been perfect. So would a SIG P229 or 239 (though I'd like something with more ammo, she only fired two shots so it would have been fine). Both are small enough and light enough to be carried but big enough to serve well in a firefight (I've carried them both myself). And they are compact enough and light enough to be carried by Annie. Loaded with something like COR-BON DPX P ammo either is a very capable handgun. A Glock 26 also works. Also a Kahr K9, PM9 (very easy for her to conceal), MK9. So do many others. Probably not any of the 1911 guns, though they are nice and flat and easy to conceal. Almost anything works better for her than a Desert Eagle.
But not a desert Eagle? Have you ever held one of those in your hand? Annie'd look like she was packing a chrome axe and the log she was cutting with it. Just occurred to me, if there are any gunstores in your area, stop in, tell the proprietor you are an author and looking for a gun uitable for a female agent to carry, doing research. See what they recommend. Above all, handle the thing, find out how big it is and how it feels.
| Anne Nonymus chapter 10 . 2/22/2012
Great story! My favorite parts included how Auggie found out about how Annie felt about him, their road trip, the caverns, but my absolute favorite was the fight between Auggie and Ben! That was awesome! From your descriptions of it I was able to visualize the scene in my mind like it was an episode. The way I saw Auggie, I was part intimidated, and -not gonna lie- partly turned on. Who wouldn't be, with his super soldier awakened, muscles rippling across his naked torso, his facial expression hardened and steely as he prepares to fight for the woman he adores...
Love love love this story!
| call2wrshp chapter 10 . 2/14/2012
1. A/A together - Check
2. Auggie's honor intact. Awesome butt kicking - Check
3. Ben in Moussad's "care" - Check Even better than exile to the moon.
Moongirl, you are officially my hero. I really loved this story. AND because I am so very greedy, I, like Millemini, would dance for joy if there should be... say... a SEQUEL! :)
| Millemini chapter 10 . 2/14/2012
Yay! You finally posted the ending! Loved it, so sweet! Looking forward to your next story - hoping for a sequel where they move in to the house and Auggie proposes! :)
| call2wrshp chapter 6 . 2/6/2012
Would love see more of this story. Missing it. Reviewing here cause I already commented on your author's note and ffn only allows one review per chapter. Please update soon, whatever you decide. I know it will be good.
| andiesimmo chapter 8 . 2/6/2012
aarrrhhhhh! just do it already please please please PLEASE thanks in advance
| Pearlofeuphoria chapter 8 . 2/1/2012
Whatever u pick hon is fine with us. You the artist to this masterpiece holds the destiny! Now let's get ready to rumble!
| locardxchange chapter 8 . 2/1/2012
O f course Auggie better put Ben down and begging uncle. Never liked Ben and with him treating Auggie so badly Ben needs a lesson in humility. Of course with Ben's over sizes ego even if he does lose he will be bitter and go off the deep end. It could be a good set up for a story where our heroes have to chase Ben through Europe and the Middle East to stop him from doing something bad.
| Solaris10 chapter 8 . 2/1/2012
I enjoy your style and the fact that you are thinking of the readers is nice but as a writer you need to appriciate your story. If you are proud of it then others will look on it and you with respect. The fact that you are letting your readers choose is still an entertaining idea but I think you should choose it. You've written a great story so far and I think that whatever you choose will make your story great. I say this as one writer to another, take it how you will YOU CHOOSE THE ENDING! It's your story and only you know exactly how it will end for better or worse. And remember it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, as long as you are happy with your story.
| jmarrero16 chapter 8 . 2/1/2012
Auggie wins Ben doesn't live up to the deal ropes someone from auggie's past to break the couple up