|Reviews for her heart beats with the ticking clock|
| Mad Random Writer chapter 1 . 4/16/2012
I liked it.
Keep the good work.
| AKAAkira chapter 1 . 2/8/2012
So about the only things I have the slightest right to criticize are the title being confusing, having no heads or tails for non-KH players, and not having as much of an impact the second read through (which was my greatest disappointment).
But, on the first go through - oh jeez, that was an intense read. You've got Naminé and Xion's sad characters dead-on, all right, but I never even considered what Kairi had gone through 'til you got me to this looking-glass. (Or wait, seeing-glass...?) You've inticately detailed their existence, their irrelevance, their weakness so fascinatingly I was surprised my eyes didn't glue onto the screen. Each of your words felt like they were made solely for these sentences: that's how perfect they sounded. The very idea of showing these characters, only just hovering between the borders of "being" and "non-being"...that was the farthest reaching I've seen yet with the potential of the concept of "Nobodies".
So I pretty much feel like this story is a fully charged Taser that unloaded completely on me. I didn't mean that in a narcissistic way, but regardless, that was a thrilling enjoyment.
I kinda disagree with the label of "prosetry" - I might be biased here, but I don't think this qualifies as a poem. I think this is still fully prose, but perfected to the point of being identical to an image. I'm not saying it would replace the detailed drawings of a painting, but it has in spades what's far more important - the emotions. Because what I CAN picture, is the raw emotions of this piece - deafeningly lonely, sweetly melancholy, and colourfully tiny to the last.
(And creating three pictures in less than a thousand total words puts THAT old saying to shame!)
| caitlinkeitorin chapter 1 . 1/12/2012
I like it. I think it's very nice :) Then again, I've always been a sucker for repetition xD (and your stories :3)