Reviews for The Call
Lexik chapter 15 . 7/18/2015
Digmon is a really disorienting name to read about. I keep mentally registering it as "Digimon," then backtracking a bit to straighten myself out. It's just one of those things that's exactly one letter away from being something else, and no doubt works just fine in its home media, but isn't quite so nice when converted to prose.

And I seem to have a fondness for evil characters who have no reason, want no reason, and simply destroy for sake of. Mephismon certainly didn't last very long at all, though. I'd say RIP, but that's not really something you write on a demon's tombstone ;)

*blinks* Come to think of it, that's a considerable number of fairly high level evil Digimon to pop up at once. And poor overworked Anubimon. Minions get the worst treatment D:

And dang, what a fanatic. Witchmon poisoning herself certainly stands out. Reminiscent of cyanide capsules, in a way.

I like how Takeru watches her disintegrate while Iori looks away.

The other half of the Arkham coven, eh? So that means that Arkham was a Witchmon town. . .

Except, then, a line follows up about the cage which held the baby Digimon of Arkham, and I'm left wondering. Are they raiding other towns for babies to sacrifice? Are some of them their own young? The latter jives pretty well with some of the lore, morbid as it is. Actually, who am I kidding? It's morbid either way. So far I've only seen towns that had one kind of baby, though. Wait, except the nursery. . .

The whole matter with the last Witchmon and BlackTailmon discussing the babies is certainly evil. Especially their casual callousness about the matter, highlighted as their chosen sacrifice tries to squirm away and BlackTailmon's subsequent toying with it. And such a cat thing to do.

Hmm, the same fate as all the others from Arkham. Well, that definitely does point strongly to it having been a Witchmon town.

Kitty undercover :3
Master Edge 2 chapter 25 . 7/18/2015
I'm really beginning to pick up on the Cuthulu themes with your use of the ocean settings. Neptunemon sounds likes a good hark to the series. Iori seems like he's begining to conceptualize something, like putting the pieces together. I say this because he's asking all the right questions, as though he's really trying to figure things out.

I'm going to be concerned for Hawkmon. He's a tough little guy, but his injuries are giving me an uneasy sense as I read on. This coupled with the fact that you picked the paragraphs after to raise the question about what they want with Hikari makes me feel like these guys are going to go through hell and back by the end of this. Cheers.

- Edge
Lexik chapter 10 . 7/18/2015
I absolutely love chapter nine's battle between BlackTailmon and Nefertimon. Your attention to the environment really shines: narrow streets making it difficult to land, then later a serious problem with Nefertimon being unable to dodge swipes from a much smaller Digimon. :D

On to chapter ten, the transition between Takeru's suggestion to drop into the town because he can see the towers to them actually clearing out the towers feels really disjointed. There's the town description and a single line reflection on Takeru's latest dream, then suddenly the Digimon are attacking, and it's like wait what?

*blinks* Digital fish leave behind bodies? Huh. I hadn't thought much of it before, but now that you mention it, we do see them eating fish pretty often, and they definitely have bony carcasses even while nothing else does.

Uber specific nitpick: "Devimon had once killed Takeru's partner. . ." Unless Devimon revives and does round two against Angemon after where I'm at (which I suppose he very well could, hmm), this offhanded comment rings slightly false. Devimon barely touched him; Angemon just went kamikaze and destroyed himself. Although, he did imply that Devimon would have destroyed them all if he didn't sacrificed himself.

Oh hey, another demon! Well, Apocalymon's name is pretty self explanatory. (Is it weird of me to be slightly disappointed that it's apocalypse instead of Apollyon? . . . Is there an Apollyon Digimon? *looks up 'Apollymon' in hope, lol*)

Mephismon looks like Mephistopheles :o And that's interesting. The one who comes for those who are already damned. Sounds like a really bad match up for Ken. Maybe it's a good thing he's off getting into other trouble. :P

. . . Maybe. His closing was pretty foreboding.

Then again, this new guy looks like a tough cookie for a whole group, and there's only two partnerships up against him here.
Igenlode Wordsmith chapter 69 . 7/18/2015
"Now that Wisemon had been dealt with, was their bargain still in place?" - I have to admit that at this point I don't remember at all whether the reader is supposed to know what the original 'bargain' between the two was, or whether Sato is referring to information that hasn't been disclosed to us yet. But I'm confused about whether Sato reckons that Wisemon's being "dealt with" is a good thing or not: this makes it sound rather as if he does, although I thought Wisemon was useful to Sato's side (even if his loyalties seem to have been pretty much neutral)...

I've always enjoyed Basil Rathbone-style enemies with style and a taunting sense of humour :-D
"I know all sorts of things. I could lay all your secrets bare, every one of you, but I'm a little tired of talking." AncientSphinxmon bowed its grinning head, and set its tail twitching back and forth like a cat - I love this little sequence, both for the visual image (and reference to the lion-parts of the sphinx" and for the dialogue. The "soft, amused voice in the darkness" is definitely still very much recognisable in AncientSphinxmon (a very appropriate form for this location, of course!)

"You can hurt my body, children, but you'll never hurt me" - the stuff of nightmares, presumably, is not tangible...

"The attack was perhaps not meant to be used at such close range" - oops :-p
A nice little fourth-wall-breaking wry comment there.

"Anubimon, who was nearer the blast, escaped unharmed only because of the barrier he had put up at the last moment, incidentally saving Sato Katsu's life" - this is a rather clumsy explanatory sentence, though :-(

"the smile was broken, but it was still a smile" - brrr :-(

So has AncientSphinxmon actually killed (or 'deleted') *all* the Chosen's beloved Digimon? For some reason (possibly that we have another sixty or so chapters to go) I'm not entirely confident about the permanence of this... but it's a very effective piece of writing, showing the sheer stifling power of the darkness attack and the devastation on the children.

"If you're smart, Sato, you'll kill them now. They're not beyond your abilities yet, but they're getting there" - finally a villain with a sensible attitude :-)

(I have to confess that I'm finding myself increasingly gratified by the rare occasions when the children do lose, not because I dislike the protagonists but because a story structure that consists of endless battles in which you always know who is going to win becomes a bit tedious: I suspect this is an issue with the Digimon canon, which appears to consist largely of 'levelling-up' the Digimon partners via a series of ever more powerful opponents whom they always defeat, thus gaining extra powers/insights...)

"Have it your way"/"Then I can have things my way?" - I like the whole dynamic between these two characters in this scene: the uneasy allies (and we've just got the impression that the Dark Man is *far* more powerful than Sato)...

"Nyarlathotep"?...! Sato has summoned one of the *Outer Gods*? Is he even sane?
(Sato, that is; I think Nyarlathotep by definition isn't!)
Interestingly, that is of course an Egyptian-form name - so it's not just the location that makes AncientSphinxmon an approriate avatar.

Not quite sure why staying in this world would make him "a slacker" - or is he saying that he doesn't deserve to remain since he has failed?

I wonder what his "wonderful opportunity" was. Presumably his intentions to open a portal using Wisemon...
Igenlode Wordsmith chapter 65 . 7/17/2015
Ken as the ex-Digimon Kaiser seems to have been delegated as the machinery expert for this chapter - even if he is no longer a genius. No-one else is even trying to work out the controls...

I like the imagery of Wormmon clinging to Ken's ankle - it hints at their mutual insecurity in this situation (and incidentally helps point up just how insignificant Wormmon is in this form).

"How can we help you?" - I'm not sure the answer was supposed to be quite that obvious in advance, but... as Sato said, the Digimon are already degenerated beyond the point of survival. There's only one thing they can possibly ask for.

Punctuation - for some reason you've twice written continuation dialogue for Ken with a capital letter here.("No," Ken said, "Anything you could tell us would help."/"But..." Ken said, "What can we do?")
I think the mistake was simply in following the 'said' with a comma, but if you *do* mean those commas (and "But... what can we do?" is a perfectly valid continuation of the opening words) then the capitals in the middle of the sentence look very weird.
It's not that you don't know how to handle dialogue punctuation (as witness other examples in this chapter, for one thing), so it's odd.

Due to Ken's burden of guilt for his past actions, he is ready to take responsibility for these further killings so that the others don't have to :-(

"Gently slipping out of Wormmon's grasp" - I'm not sure this conjures the right associations as a description when the actual 'grasp' is the Digimon hanging around his ankle; it's not wrong, but it sounds as if he is disentangling himself from the enclosing embrace of someone larger than himself rather than letting a small one slip off.

"I'm not sure if I could live with myself after doing this" - again, an unthinking reminder of the Digimon Kaiser's activities :-(

"Output" and "Empty" are both sufficiently generic for it to be plausibly unclear as to which Ken should pick, and with what results...

"Until we set them free they can't be reborn" - at least with Digimon rather than humans they *have* that option :-(

The distinction between being "beyond forgiveness" (from other people) and "beyond seeking forgiveness" (even if not granted) is an interesting one; seeking forgiveness implies at least an acknowledgement of wrongdoing, and thus a failure in that implies an even greater degree of evil, whether the actions are in fact capable of being forgiven or not.

"if we stay here too long that guy'll get away!" - I hadn't realised they were planning to chase Sato.

"As they approached their destination Ken saw that it was a terminal of some kind. As he began looking at the options it provided, his friends stood around him, glad to have their backs to the generators, but many feeling strangely guilty for not looking at those they had to delete" - this section seems oddly laboured and pedestrian in style, especially when compared to the next passage ("For a long time there was quiet, no motion except for Ken's hands on the controls, and every second was an eternity of horror"/ "the empty room at their backs filled up with an awesome silence")

In fact I suspect that by effectively cutting off Sato's power source (or is this only one 'Bank' out of five or more..?) what Ken sees in terms of a mercy killing is actually a significant blow against their enemies. But of course the characters can hardly be allowed to debate the ethics of it in those terms: worrying about risking too long a delay is one thing, but actively killing hundreds of Digimon in order to gain an advantage for your own side is not an option that can be presented to the reader as a viable choice!
Igenlode Wordsmith chapter 64 . 7/16/2015
This is a very sudden reversal from Sato's point of view, after his contented reflections on the outcome of the battle at the start of the previous chapter. But at least he has a decent rationale for popping up and doing a gloat-speech, having resisted the temptation earlier on.

I note that Hikari is the only one concerned with the ultimate destination of all this suffering - possibly because she has a pre-existing connection with Dagomon and his world, although the fact that only two of them actually saw the dark well may also be a factor!

Telling your enemies important bits of information (classically, your entire attack plan!) on the grounds that they are about to die and will never live to benefit from it is a classic Evil Overlord error :-p
On the other hand, he really isn't telling them anything very useful here - presumably because his true reason is simply to temporize until fresh attackers can arrive - and it's providing a convenient subtext of 'you're doomed' :-p

"I can. Does it disturb you? Rest assured I would use humans just as readily if we had the technology" - a wonderfully cold-blooded put-down (of *course* it's hurting them!) though I hadn't realised that the technique physically could not be used on humans. (Something to do with being made of digital data, I suppose, although I thought I vaguely remembered that when the Chosen transferred to the Digital World they took on new bodies that were digital replicas of the human ones they left behind...

Ah - an intelligent adversary :-)
I always warm to them.

He recognises perfectly well that you can't *control* Dark powers, and he flings the whole inconsistency of Ken's little lectures right back in his face. And then he refuses to answer awkward questions, whether or not the Chosen are doomd to die'!

I'm afraid Sato is probably telling the truth about the generators; by this juncture the machinery is serving as a life-support system, and the victims wouldn't survive long now without it. They are being artificially kept alive so that they can be harvested...

I'm quite surprised the secret base is vulnerable to earthquakes, especially since I assumed that they were being deliberately caused via Dark activity - you wouldn't expect your own base to fall victim. But maybe the earthquakes are simply signs that the barriers between the worlds are becoming very thin. (I'm a bit puzzled by the mechanism that seems to open the cylinders whenever any unauthorised person comes near them, which I would have thought was counterproductive.)

"A couple Hanumon lost their footing and stumbled into the cylindrical machines" - this sounds rather as if they fall *into* the opened cylinders, which I'm guessing is not the case...

There really is a very sinister effect about the mimicry of the Pipismon, whatever they choose to repeat:-(
Master Edge 2 chapter 22 . 7/15/2015
I love the idea of Setmon and Coatlmon. I don't remember them from the show. However, a google search tells me that they are canon. I kind of thought there was going to be some interesting original ideas here, but there is always the chance that you take the idea in another direction later on.

So far the plot as focused very much on the Dark Towers. It sort of slows the pace down, and gives an alright atmosphere of suspense to the overall threats. The fighting is very well done, and you do very well in keeping with the tone of the show. Albeit darker in the nightmare scenes.

While complaining about the pace, the second scene in this chapter gives a good sense of things to come. The fact that Lilithmon is about to scout out the city gives me a big sense of unease as to the fate of those who are still not busy fighting. Cheers

- Edge
Igenlode Wordsmith chapter 60 . 7/15/2015
N.B. I noticed some broken mark-up in chapter 58: "Was it one of [i]those[/i] dreams?"

Using Digmon to block the route behind them is definitely a more viable strategy than trying for a fighting retreat - though I wonder if the Hanumon hair bombardment is going to come back and bite them later on, as it seems strangely ineffectual: from a story-external point of view, there's no point inserting an extra attack that the characters can just shake off without ill-effect, so I'm suspicious :-p

I'm guessing that these banks of tortured cylinders are the "Row Five" (and subsequent others) mentioned back in ch15; since the black pipes are described as running *out* of them, they're probably not supplying the machinery. I guess from ch58 that the victims are being used to fill the dark well - whatever that is for. Possibly this is the energy fuelling the nightmares? At any rate the inmates are being consumed to fuel *something*...

The idea of a battery of high-tech tortured bodies is horrible, of course, but the bats that mimic everything they say are pretty nasty too :-(
Presumably Takeru's discovery is affecting his ability to use the Digimental; I think it's been shown in the anime that a character's emotions can make it impossible to digivolve anyone for the moment.

"This was the worst place for a confrontation of this kind; the fighting might damage the generators" - so this confrontation is apparently *not* the intended outcome of the trap, if trap it was. (I was unclear if Sato actually wanted the Chosen in this complex or not, and whether this was Lilithmon's basement trap; apparently it isn't, as in any case the latter is in the real world.)
Sato seems worryingly happy with the outcome, however :-(
Igenlode Wordsmith chapter 57 . 7/14/2015
Hmmm. I don't find myself terribly comfortable with having rape thrown in as a theme here - arguably it's in accordance with Dagomon's intentions to breed from Hikari, but this doesn't appear to be anything of the sort but is a case of intimidation by assault. And in fanfic rape has an awful tendency to get thrown in arbitrarily as The Worst Crime The Author Can Think Of with the concomitant impression that it's being done for the shock value. At this point in the story the author doesn't really want his readers to get distracted by wondering if Digimon are even equipped for the act - the complete confusion of the Chosen partners suggests that they normally aren't - and the amount of euphemism that's going on (until we suddenly have a casual mention of "a nightmare rapist" at the end of the scene) just makes the topic stick out more and more.

In a universe that has basically been completely sexless for fifty-six chapters, it feels gratuitously out of place (and rather unimaginative, compared to the psychological tortures we've seen the Chosen going through).

I am extremely sceptical as to the chances of Anubismon's surviving to return 'home' out of the kindness of the Dark Man's heart :-(

"Whatever the Dark Man was, he didn't resemble any known inhabitant of the Digital World" - he certainly doesn't seem to be any kind of Digimon.

I like this very creepy and evocative description of an ocean-that-isn't-an-ocean - that is not only alive but indeterminate. The fog doesn't just hide things: it's a creeping menace that *dissolves* them in the mind as if they had never existed (metaphorically, I'm assuming, but in this sort of world you can't be certain). And waves that "were there when they were needed"...

Ah, so those things that were hailing Ken as the Digital Emperor were actually fish-men: I thought from their description that they probably were (especially being wider around the 'waist').

"they're unblinking eyes" - typo

"so stupid as to not question his motives" - I'd expect this to be "so stupid as not to question", but I don't know how Demon normally speaks.

""I need no assistance against children" - that's the trouble with villains; overconfident and they just can't team up :-p

"Nothing that dies so easily should take me lightly!" - now that's a classic villain's threat :-D

The 'something' that heard and understood in the abysses was *presumably* Dagomon... unless it was Something Worse!
Igenlode Wordsmith chapter 55 . 7/14/2015
For once, this chapter actually seems to be real rather than a nightmare - although it doesn't differ all that much from the settings of some of the nightmares!

"in the darkness it was difficult to tell if anything was making use of them": I like the insinuation of the 'any*thing*' rather than the expected 'anyone' here...

Given the darkness everywhere and the darker darkness that clings around this castle in particular ("here the air and skies were even darker than in other realms"), it does occur to me to wonder why Demon would have or want flaming torches in his throne room! But presumably that's canon and the unspoken rationale is "because it looks good (and shows up on TV)" :-p

"very few of those would look so pleased about it" - even taking into account the Dark Man's perpetual air of enjoyment, I'm getting the impression that he thinks he can run rings round/otherwise manipulate the powerful but none-too-bright demon lord.

Perhaps we'll find out this time what he actually wants the Dark Seed *for*...

"A human would have been incinerated" - so the Dark Man definitely isn't human. (And his habit - according to Sato - of physically disappearing to manifest inside his victims' dreams would tend to confirm that!) Whatever he is, presumably he has a significant amount of power if he can simply deflect a direct attack by a demon lord.

""I can appreciate that after the people I've been working with" - what, Lilithmon and her minions? They didn't exactly seem subtle in their conversational approach... or maybe he means Sato.

He seems to have got the hang of talking to Evil Overlords: challenge them, intrigue them, make ambitious promises, and keep the initiative in the conversation at all costs!

Sato is a servant of Dagomon? That explains who he was talking to in the dark well, presumably ("The dream in the dark, the terror in the tear, the water in the lung")

This 'proposition' currently appears to be entirely one-sided: he allows Demon to escape from the Dark World, he offers him the Dark Seeds, and he doesn't actually ask for anything in return. Presumably it's a "your enemies are my enemies" set-up, where he simply wants another opponent to help wear down the Chosen Children, but one would have thought that Demon might be a little suspicious of a bargain where his counterpart has nothing visible to gain by it (and must therefore have a concealed purpose which he does not wish revealed). Evil Overlords, however, are not known for their perspicacity :-p

I'm slightly confused over the torches here: apparently it is the Dark Man who is somehow controlling them (I'd initially assumed the dying torches were a manifestation of Demon's anger/suspicion), presumably in order to make his escape using the darkness or to conceal whatever method he does use for making his escape. But then Demon proceeds to get rid of them himself when they come back, again raising the question of why this lord of darkness was sitting there with torches blazing in the first place!

I'm definitely not getting the feeling that the Dark Man is in any way serving *under* Sato, even if the latter may believe it...

"if things went as he planned, Demon's decision would have no bearing on anything" - I thought there must be a double-cross somewhere in the offing :-p
I can't guess what he is planning, though. To bring Demon and his followers across into the human/Digital worlds whether they like it or not?

And presumably we're about to find out what the Book actually is and does.
"He could now look back on all his dim existence as a slow, groping climb to where he now stood in this universe, in all universes. Only a few days ago everything had been so diffuse, but then there had come that night in the moon-bathed desert when it had been as though a hand had reached down for his from the heavens, to end the tortuous climb and draw him up at a comet's speed to a place among the stars" - a powerful piece of writing, equating both the metaphorical and literal senses of ascent.
Igenlode Wordsmith chapter 51 . 7/13/2015
Now this is interesting; we have a character for a change who resolutely reminds himself that he is in a dream! I don't know if this is a specific facet of Iori's character in canon (I don't feel that I really know him from the story so far) but it certainly provides a different emphasis.

I like the description of his mind drifting in a semi-wakeful state in the first sentence, but I felt that subsequent references ("his fluid focus strayed", "eventually, he finished passing into sleep") were much more clumsy and interrupted the random, floating feel :-(

"But he told himself firmly not to think of the situation in terms of 'safety' and where his partner might be" - as I said, I like the way he keeps trying to remind himself that this is all taking place inside his head, and that none of the others can really be there... and that if it looks as if he's going to 'die' it means he's bound to wake up!

An effective riff here on what I'm assuming is a canon line about the ocean's being wide, with fluff and light mutating to the abysses of the deep.

Standing still and *allowing* oneself to be killed in a dream, even with the aim of escaping from it, is quite a challenge to face :-(

"He could really smell the salt, and feel the stale air brushing past him, and hear the clatter and clang of every footfall on the metal stairs, and the echoes that followed" - I like your description here of the sheer reality of running up the steps, but the dream is definitely starting to overmaster him now... He is trying to cling to the knowledge that this is simply a nightmare ("Those weren't really his friends down there, just another part of the dream "/"This shouldn't happen, even in a dream"/It's a bad dream. It's just a dream!"/"Maybe he could finally wake up") but he is getting progressively more emotionally panicked and engaged in the scenario...
Igenlode Wordsmith chapter 50 . 7/13/2015
And... another nightmare, telegraphed by "seemed to awaken", and the sudden lurches in perception.

"the sheet was pulled off of him" - I don't know what the rules are in the US, but "off of" is an ungrammatical expression here :-(

"Takeru had sudden a nasty insight" - typo

"I will be taking over tonight" seems a bit unrelated as an answer to "What was under the other sheet?" - I suspect "answered him" is probably not the wording you want here, since it has this presumably unintended implication.

This time round, the nightmare consists not of horrors to himself, but of watching the others get disposed of one by one... I'm not actually clear what "kind of response" Takeru is expected to be providing here, given that he is totally paralysed; or perhaps that's the sick joke. Perhaps the idea is that he is supposed to be showing emotion, and the fact that he isn't is providing the excuse for more and more inventive ways of torturing him through his friends in the supposed search for some response :-(
I was actually expecting the question of 'which do you care about most' to be a demand for him to acquiesce in sacrificing the others in explicit exchange for Yamato or order to torture him with guilt; so I was quite surprised when Yamato was simply disposed of as well, without any attempt to milk the situation...

So Takeru's nightmare dwindles in quite mundane fashion to being tangled up in the sheets!
This is one situation where it's nice to have a partner who resembles a soft toy.

"jarred awake by his partner's violence" - this appears at first glance to be referring to Takeru's struggling free of his sheets and catching his breath (the immediate antecedent), although I think the intention must have been to refer back to his tossing and groaning. Either way, I did a double-take looking for jarring violence, which it's hard to apply to either.

"for the first time in a long time" - Takeru is very much harking back to his younger self in this chapter.
reminiscent-afterthought chapter 24 . 7/13/2015
Maybe it's the lack of apparent pause, but this chapter's pace is quite fast - effective for a fight but less effective in a waiting game and most of this chapter is essentially that. Waiting for surrender, waiting for an opportunity, waiting for the paralysis to fade - the divider at the beginning nicely transitions from Holsmon's recognition of the situation to the situation itself, but after that the paralysis flitters by a little quickly; it's easy to lose track of who's paralysed and who's not and when in the first read (or I did anyway; maybe a slower reader wouldn't).

Miyako was able to take three Fossil Waves and yet the paralysis wore off pretty quickly? That's impressive, since it seems like Hikari only took one and she was downed (granted, it's hard to know when it wore off for her because she was faking it afterwards). The effects of the paralysis make for an interesting battle, particularly coupled to the injuries of the other - it can be crippling, but a single strike of luck of good aim was enough to turn the tides. In fact, all the battles so far have had quite an element of strategy and luck to them. And the protagonists have been winning - it'll get tedious, but digimon runs along that vein so there's little avoiding it. But these six aren't the only Chosen and you've mentioned the others earlier but they've tapered off in this "day's" events - actually, that's not long at all. Just feels long because of the number of chapters I guess. Just something to consider later.

I am so happy to see Tailmon handling another digimon in her native form. Her champion level prowess seems eclipsed after she gains the ability to go beyond that (or loses her holy ring as in the second season) and it's nostalgic to watch her paw end the fight. This is the digimon that could stand up to the Chosen at Vamdemon's gate and you've shown that beautifully - and end with the limitation. No wings. :D
reminiscent-afterthought chapter 23 . 7/13/2015
I think I said this before, but "Still" sounds altogether too much like a continuation than a beginning, and the beginning of a chapter that's not the first has a need for both.

February I imagine is a nudge towards the CD drama - interesting how the digimental of light created another water-worthy digimon...especially after the earlier comment that Honesty was the only water-worthy one. But now that it's occured to them and Daisuke and Ken have already switched around, I wonder if they'll consider switching their Digimentals for more diverse strategy-making. I get the feeling Miyako and Hikari in particular would do a lot better if they switched their digimentals or Miyako at least switched to Purity which she hasn't used so far in this story from memory. (then again, Shurimon's not a fighter, though that jumping ability of his might make it unnecessary).

Ken and Daisuke's dialogue always makes for an interesting read/listen during fights. They just think so differently, and somehow it doesn't come out as strongly with the other two pairs (though granted, with Hikari and Miyako they keep on getting split up).

I wonder how Imperialdramon found the strength to digivolve into mega - unless Ken had simply been mistaken earlier. An interesting way to sum up that scene - looks defeated, but there's a hole to exploit - though I imagine you'll do it soon if you do. Holes like that tend to fade with time after all.

And we're back to Iori. An ink cloud - it worked for the time being, but this is the last tower so they either planned that knowing it would work or it's a last resort. I can't get a terribly good read on the enemy digimon he's facing. There's a sense of blindness there beyond the ink which, while may be made more useful later, but makes the fight a little dry as is. What I find most interesting about it are the ones who aren't blatant enemies - inhabitants of the town, since the other places so far have been deserted. Though the lack of dialogue ability impedes this as well. I do hope you'll follow up or we see more digimon not allied with the antagonists. But one set of fighting looks to be over so I imagine the others are rapping up soon as well. "Cruised" is an interesting choice of word, considering the circumstances. It's like they're floating on a literal angst cloud (at least, that's the mental image I got) - and it suits, considering their home is pretty much in tatters.
reminiscent-afterthought chapter 22 . 7/12/2015
So those two were armour digimon after all. I'm probably repeating myself here but the pace lags a little when describing the scenes. The attacks are nicely done, particularly since not all of them are rcognisable to Adventure/02 only viewers and the physical clashing is well described as well, but when you say something like [This new digimon wore the Crest of Love], it's not really in keeping with the fast pace of the fight. It's not so much as Miyako caught a glimpse of it as it's obvious like the colour or general shape, and that's something that's lost a little by losing the perspective of someone in the fight.

And now we have either a new spin-off from the enemies or an altogether new issue (judging from Sato and the Dark Man earlier, I'll say the former for now). And these two choose a glamourous introduction after all. It sparks some interest in this case though - love turns to hate and light deepens the darkness. The latter follows what Azulongmon said in the second season and considering the attention to canon so far, I expect there'll be further expansion on that.

So this is Hiraga's first real "meeting" with digimon. To be honest, I found that entire scene rather flat and oddly placed - particularly since it's between fighting scenes which speak a whole other volume.

Like with the digivolutions, it's not really necessary to yell out the attack name every time - doesn't translate over quite the same from anime. In this case, it's obvious Horusmon is attacking from the second sentence; you don't need the first one that declares the attack.

So Nefertimon is stiff. Not a Lightdramon-exclusive problem then. It's rather subtle this time round though - easy to miss. And Coatlmon manages to grab Hikari and then goes after the fallen Nerfertimon. That's a hole in his/her strategy right there, but rather convinient for Hikari. That's more a digimon fandom flaw than anything, I think. It doesn't work too well if they get permenantly damaged because they still need to come back and save the day. And Miyako manages to make her way over. We're still missing Horusmon by the looks of it - expecting he'll be their knight in shining armour to the rescue, particularly judging the ending. Either that or allies, since the antagonists are growing in number, but you haven't really been setting up for allies.
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