Reviews for The Call
Lexik chapter 8 . 7/7/2015
Aww, poor girl. Hikari's second dream was definitely spooky. :x

Oooh. So the witches were using their sacrifice to overcome Yukio's sacrifice.

And dang, they're certainly stretching themselves pretty thin. I think I'd be encouraged if I were a bad guy, too. So they're summoning the Dark Towers directly from their Dark World. Makes sense.

Lol, Moloch and Ashtaroth. Funny seeing those names in the chosen quote of chapter 8 on the same that day my morning reading sent me on a research chase on Chemosh. Astamon sounds like a similarly inspired name. Or it could just be Asta for star, but placed in the same chapter as the Moloch and Ashtaroth reference, it has me thinking of Chemosh and Astarte. Fitting, I suppose, since all of these ancient religions practiced blood sacrifice as well.

Ah, there are loopholes for getting around the Dark Tower influence. (The battle from chapter 5 makes more sense now that I'm armed with more info!) It definitely still looks terribly inconvenient, and for Ken especially.

"Let the healing begin" is a very strange thing for a demon to say. But considering your many small mentions of Ken's history, that has some eerie implications.
Lexik chapter 5 . 7/7/2015
The Kaiser summarization back in ch4 makes me curious XD I'll get to it eventually, though, and it should be fun~

And off they go to digital lands.

The FF net has been cracking down on hyperlinks for a long time, but these days more than ever (specifically last week, bleh). In any case, your link at the beginning of chapter five was swallowed up. May I recommend just giving the name of your resource instead of trying to link it?

Speaking of resources, I've been doing quick image searches on characters that you mention, but don't describe, and that's been serving me well.

When Dark Towers came up in chapter four, I of course had no idea whatsoever what the big deal was ;) Patience pays off, though, and as you sneak in enough observations in five that I can catch the gist of things. Sabbat certainly looks to be the right descriptor for a gathering of Witchmon.

Most notably, the Dark Tower interfering with Digivices is definitely a problem. Good thing some of them evolved before they got close or that could've been a doozy! Or does it only effect certain parameters? And my understanding of the battle is. . . somewhat hazy. I'm scraping by on the assumption that any mon that isn't a Witchmon is a good guy XD

Firmly agreed on Lighdramon's declaration that they're not pets; they're partners. :) One of the first things I remember noticing in canon is that the nature of their interactions and relationships are all on the same level.

By the way, the "You haven't started to disappear?" question has a whole lot of unsettling and equally fascinating implications. And again, I'm looking forward to seeing what canon event you seem to be referring to :o

A literal sacrifice for their ceremony at the end :/ No questions about them being evil. And it was a baby Digimon, and that's really screwed up. I must ask, is that particular baby Digimon's name important or supposed to stir up deja vu feelings for someone more up to date on the story arcs than I am?
Igenlode Wordsmith chapter 24 . 7/7/2015
Hah - I thought so. Coatlmon had completely ignored the fact that Horusmon was still free.
(And having the flames start a forest fire gives Horusmon a motive to abandon the fight and head off to the rescue in time even though he doesn't know that the others are in trouble - he knows that he left Miyako under the trees, and that's urgent enough.)

"The Chosen Children are wanted alive" - well, that definitely gives them a tactical advantage, since their attackers are obliged to take damage rather than risk killing them.
But I note that Miyako is gambling her life to save *Hikari's* partner here!

"His only facial features were his eyes" - he evidently has a chin in the previous paragraph, and presumably a mouth to screech with? ("He was panting now despite his lack of mouth": apparently not. Though how he can possibly 'pant' without a mouth - or have a chin without a jaw - I do not see!)

"Now there was an almost painful tightness throughout her body. The edges of her vision began to darken" - I was actually thinking that Miyako was starting to die because he'd paralysed her breathing muscles at this point...

"I should not be out of energy so quickly" - is the idea that he is suffering from having panicked and used 'Fossil Wave' multiple times here?

"She seemed to be starting to recover from her paralysis; her limbs moving slowly as she tried to pull herself off the ground" - I think that semi-colon ought to be a comma.

"He searched his mind frantically for a solution. But he was interrupted" - Coatlmon isn't the only one to forget about the other combat!

"You can't counter that" - because it's a physical wound rather than a force attack?

"even if the evil Digimon was as bad off as he sounded" - I think that should be "badly off", unless this is an American usage with which I am not familiar.

"smoke was beginning to drift among the five beings" - 'beings', presumably, because they're not all the same species, let alone all human, but it does sound a bit stilted. "beginning to drift among the five of them"?

"he would have to transport the humans himself, before they were also consumed" - again, having to keep your victims alive makes the villain's life much more difficult! Presumably he was counting on Coatlmon's help to carry both girls. (He doesn't otherwise seem at all worried by the demise of his ally.)

So Hikari was simply playing possum - very wise - and Nefertimon manages to release herself by devolving into another form. Tailmon is presumably very underpowered compared to Setmon, but she has the advantage of surprise on an opponent who is already weakened...
reminiscent-afterthought chapter 11 . 7/7/2015
And picking right up from chapter eight. At least that prediction worked out! So Puttimon’s wound wasn’t as fatal as it appeared and looks like the gash healed up upon digivolution, leaving just the fatigue. Puttimon’s attacks are quite interesting, and their use as well – Astamon seems adamant they won’t work, and yet it’s undeniablely having an effect on him. Classic unreliable narrator, and made all the more interesting with the fact that you don’t have an arguable narrator but rather drift between the characters and show the unbiased collective. I would recommend starting [The beam found its target…] in a new paragraph; there seems to be a shift in tone there.

And the beam had an indirect consequence as well. Classic dues ex machina but you manage to circumvent the clichéness of it by landing not on top of the villain. I find it rather amusing to think of Flamedramon’s little nest of landing. Taking note and using the scenery as well as the players – though on that note, fire and wood didn’t amount to anything? Especially with Astamon shaking off the flames. Embers flying where they probably shouldn’t go.

Ooh, the digimental trade. Though Daisuke has two digimentals so it wasn’t necessary for Flamedramon to dedigivolve if he’d given Ken friendship instead…but arguably neither Flamedramon nor Lightdramon were suited for dense forest combat. Kangaroomon on the other hand (and I’m tickled at the Australian animal) sounds far more agile. Shadramon turns out to be a lucky form as well – since you’re using existing digimon, it works out nicely that the jogress partner had a digimental that gave a handy form. Though part of the challenge I imagine when writing this was working out how to most effectively use the form given – and you show that beautifully with the aerial maneovres, particularly that little hop at the end that shows Shadremon is no fast four legged/clawed bird like Holsmon. [Stopped in pain] sounds rather artificial. Froze or seized perhaps?

So the bullets totally ignore Ken. That turned out to be lucky because of Shadramon had been wrong, would he have been fast enough to turn around? The scene that follows is quite cleverly written – destroying the Dark Towers with the bullets and reducing the load following him at the same time.

And Kangaroomon gets a fist right in the face. Nice one, though it’s quite a small scene. Maybe augment it with Daisuke as the spectator? Or Kangaroomon’s reaction to having scored a solid hit? And poor Ken – that was a little too close for his comfort, though I can’t work out if that last bit was in Shadramon’s plan list or not. And Stingmon arrives in the finale – though with that previous scene, I wonder how he managed to muster up the energy for an evolution to champion, and whether he actually can hold a jogress form for very long. It sounds like dedigivolution siphons off some of the after-effects of injury, but holding onto a higher evolution level and fighting with it exacerbates it. Since you’re taking care to continuously include it, particularly at the end, I expect it’ll play a further role than it already has.
reminiscent-afterthought chapter 10 . 7/7/2015
So we’re up to Takeru and Iori, the last of the three groups. I love how different the settings are, and how different the circumstances as well. The only group that can plainly see their Dark Tower – which means they won’t need to go hunting for it, but it opens the doors to other possibilities. Since you’ve already used the ring around the Dark Tower one, I wonder what you’ve got planned for this. From what I’ve seen so far and the fact that Witchmon featured in the previous chapter with Hikari and Miyako, I doubt it’ll be the group of Witchmon again. Then again, you may try the double-negative approach to throw off anyone thinking that.

Takeru’s dream is a clever one, something that tends to slip in and out of focus in the main canon and you’ve drawn it out nicely here, especially on a background of Hikari’s and Ken’s brushes with darkness. The paragraph […but could not be sure] seems to end on a strange note though, since the next paragraph tends back to the issue of the Dark Towers. You state that there is anger present but I don’t really get a sense of it from the reiteration that follows. And particularly the bit addressing the second presence – he’s not sure whether the person is suffering or not but what else? Is he more or less likely to want to do something to help/stay far away?

So they destroyed the cliff’s Dark Tower. If I’m not remembering incorrectly, they’re the first group so far to do that, but there must be a catch somewhere. And there it is: a group they can’t quite find. Lulling them into complacency? [Iori thought for a second/ “Could they be underground?” – I expect those two paragraphs to be one, considering Iori is the subject to both and the two are linked, ie. the question is essentially voicing the thought.] The comment about graves is quite interesting too (and “yawning” – that’s borderline creepy, perfect for poetry :D) but, seeing as how you’ve nudged quite a bit at canon, I expected a comment about the graves in the first season (the ones that Mimi made…and Kari for the Numemon).

Oh look, there are Witchmon. This story is definitely going to keep my on my toes. And the ghost of Apocalymon huh. That makes for an interesting turn and I have to wonder how the Witchmon found that data (or the big bad boss…). And another cliffhanger. Three cliffhangers in a row – hopefully this means we’re back to Daisuke in Ken in the next chapter and there won’t be another cliffhanger (it’s a bit early considering the overall length for multiple successive cliffhangers).
Igenlode Wordsmith chapter 22 . 7/7/2015
The epigraph about Quetzalcoatl and the description of the new attacker as a flying snake with wings just behind its head - and the 'Toltecan' attack - definitely indicate the origins of Coatlmon :-D

So this is the Dark Man's new strategy revealed: to send out mirror-image Digimon that reverse the qualities of the Digimentals. From the 'Egyptian' Digimental of Love we get Set (with a desert wind attack); from the 'mythological' Digimental of Light we get Coatl. "Love turned to Hate" and "Light furthering the purpose of Darkness" is a lovely poetic description of it.

"So you are Digimon" - if Hiraga hasn't ever encountered Digimon before, this must be a really weird moment for him: a bit like being hired by a mob boss who assures you that the fairies are going to come and fight on his side when the big moment comes. Though since the 'fairies' in this case attempted an invasion of the human world a few years earlier they're not completely mythological... still, dealing with creatures from another world (let alone ones that look like stuffed toys) is outside the comfort zone of your average mercenary.

I'm sure that Digimon can't even tell that humans come in different breeds, given how similar we all are compared to how much they differ... it would be like looking at a flock of sheep and expecting the reader to be able to recognise that some were Leicesters and some were Cheviots or Herdwicks!

The precise power relationship between Sato and the Dark Man is clearly going to be an interesting one. Sato seems to be the more active, but I definitely get the impression that the Dark Man could crush his ally/employer/figurehead if he felt like it...

"reluctant to leave her partner, but knowing that he would be able to fight more effectively without her" - yes, in this sort of battle between behemoths, the children are definitely a liability (as in when Submarimon was forced to surface when the Octomon went for his weak point, his 'rider').

It's an interesting characterization to have the winged serpent making a looping, sinuous approach through the sky, but I do wonder how the physics of that works in practice, since it's presumably the wings at the head-end which are dragging him forward by the neck rather than the coiling of the body against the atmosphere propelling him as it would on the ground. (Likewise, I remember being a bit sceptical about whether underwater Hangyomon would actually 'slump to the sea floor' when struck by torpedoes, rather than drifting around or even floating to the surface like dead fish.)
But then when we're talking about Quetzalcoatl, physics is probably the wrong concept to apply!

Paralysis when flying; not a good thing :-(
She was lucky to get away with only 'hurt somewhat'; as with Coatlmon, her ability to remain airborne is clearly influenced as much by inherent magic as by wingbeats, otherwise she'd have fallen like a stone...
"Nefetimon's ability to remain aloft": typo (Nefertimon)

"The tip of Coatlmon's tail, a gold ornament like a metal flame, emerged from the tree tops" - this makes it sound rather as if he is coming *up* from the trees; I don't think things normally "emerge from the tree-tops" if they are descending down through the canopy, which must be the case here.

By "Everyone is here", Coatlmon presumably means that he isn't going to have to hunt through the woods for Miyako, since she has very conveniently come running out of cover; it sounds slightly odd since her Digimon *isn't* here, being still engaged in skyborne battle. If he's only talking about the children, two of them don't really seem like enough to be described as an 'everyone', even if there were only two to start with!

We clearly have a cliff-hanger at the end of this chapter, but somehow I'm pretty sure something will crop up in the nick of time - especially as Horusmon/Holsmon is still free to move.
Master Edge 2 chapter 7 . 7/6/2015
Wow, that's heavy. I remember Yukio's sacrifice to restore the Digital World. It was always a tear jerker to me. For someone to sacrifice their life, and then to have that sacrifice be in vain strikes a chord with me. It adds gravity to their situation an gives the story a sense of realism. Things don't always go according to plan, nor do they ever turn out exactly the way you want them to.

That being said I wasn't expecting three clumps of Dark Towers at once so soon into this story, and the aforementioned guardians means that they are going to be meeting a lot of resistance. The Chosen really have their work cut out for them.

I do like how the chapter ends on a hopeful note in good contrast to the gloom of Yukio's futile sacrifice. To have the bad guy wonder if his plan was good enough adds more realism. I would think the same thing in his shoes. These kids have been through hell and high water. Cheers.

- Edge
Master Edge 2 chapter 12 . 7/6/2015
"Those brats would not outsmart her, oh no." Bastemon's really prideful, isn't she? A good representation of a cat-thing. There's that sense of unease one gets when they know their enemy is prideful, and it makes them that much more dangerous.

The story is progressing at an alight pace. I have to say I am beginning to wonder when we will see the end of this battle. You're really good at building suspense, and I want to keep reading in order to find out just who these bad guys are. Now that I know that they have all these digimon fighting it out for them, I want to know what their ties are to both worlds. My main gripe right now is that the battle has been going for an extensive number of chapters.

That being said, them leveling the city should speed things up, but I am curious as to what's brewing while The Chosen are kept busy. More Dark Towers? An army arising? A blight? I'll have to read further, then. Cheers.

- Edge
reminiscent-afterthought chapter 8 . 7/6/2015
Considering the situation, your beginning serves for quite the humorous one – and again you’re using reason and nature’s laws to work in your favour. Though it makes me wonder if they’d simply fallen out of the sky if they passed too close to the Dark Tower or if Imperialdramon would have been able to fight the effect since it was a smaller exposure time. The overshooting possibility reminds me of Jyou in the Bakemon episode, and being able to see the Dark Tower from the air but the canopy blocking it when they land is a nice touch as well. One of the few times it’s not a glaringly obvious landmark which makes things interesting – but what sort of field has such dense foliage? It’s something I’d expect more of a forest but maybe it’s just because I’m having trouble visualising the place they’ve landed.

Oh dear, they would pick a time where Daisuke is not there and there’s a Dark Tower preventing Wormmon from digivolving. Oh wait, now you are using forest. Forest and field imply two different settings. But forest certainly lends itself nicely to the scene. Bark flying is far more interesting than a bullet vanishing into grass I think – from an outsider’s perspective. Ken I suppose would rather there be no bullet at all. And interesting how we rarely see humans using weapons in the digital world – and when we did, it was Gennai with a sword. I almost wonder why the shooter didn’t bother with a silencer – Daisuke wouldn’t have noticed so quickly otherwise because the foliage cover should work both ways. *reads next scene* Oh, whoops. It was a digimon. Of course no silencer. Astamon – I’ll thank Hunters for knowing what he looks like. He’s a bit too tall to be mistaken for a human though, isn’t he? The fight that ensures is sadly amusing – stomach ripped open. Not even surgical precision. We haven’t seen ripped open digimon that don’t die straight away, so I wonder how Wormmon will recover from that.

And the evil cliff-hanger strikes. Luckily there’s over a hundred chapters left to read and it’s not nearing midnight this time round. Otherwise I would have clicked follow and then stared at my email impatiently. :D
reminiscent-afterthought chapter 9 . 7/6/2015
So Hikari and Miyako take the gate route. The description is far more solid here than in the previous chapter – actually, your description on the whole so far has been rather solid, so I’d call the last chapter’s the exception so far. I’d recommend avoiding words like “described” and “generally” though – it drags sentences out when they don’t really need to be. I love the wording here though: “Shallow creeks meandered through the landscape”. No signs of life again – I’m starting to wonder what would happen if they went to a place where Dark Towers haven’t suddenly popped up. Since Miyako and Hikari are searching for the Dark Towers, perhaps make a note that they’re not immediately visible – it’s not the same situation as with Ken and Daisuke where their vision is obscured, but the Dark Towers are possibly hidden somewhere.

A nicely sprung trap, and something that wouldn’t have worked nearly as well as Holsmon had gone in first. Then again, Holsmon can’t turn a handle with as much ease so maybe it was the schematics preventing that possibility – you’ve described the scene nicely. Witchmon’s presence comes out like the attacker coming out of the shadows, which she essentially is, and Holsmon the powerless observer. One thing I missed was Miyako’s facial/body expression. Witchmon’s holding her neck but what about the rest of her? Holsmon looks like he was paying attention to that, but that’s something missed in the description of that paragraph.

And in another scene, Tailmon meets BlackTailmon. This is going to be interesting. The dialogue has a nice twist with the double-meaning as well – though dampened a little from a reader’s perspective because we’ve already been introduced to BlackTailmon. The cost of being less confused than Hikari. And Bastemon too (you threw two of my favourite digimon into one scene). Since they’re all in the same evolutionary family, I wonder what makes this group of digimon so special. Whether you’re following on from LadyDevimon or leaning towards something new (Lilithmon or something I’m not thinking of right now). Tailmon’s got a good point but they’re relying on BlackTailmon’s words in that the town really is empty. And who’s to say they won’t accidentally hurt Miyako and Holsmon – but honestly, there’s few choices in the matter and I’m one to talk, comfortably typing this review out at home. Classic imperfect reality which, looking at what I’ve seen so far of your writing, may very well come to bite them.
reminiscent-afterthought chapter 7 . 7/6/2015
Now there’s a theory for the de-aging process and the multiple Gennai lookalikes running around in the world during the world tour arc, and part of the process of rebuilding after the Dark Masters arc as well. The independent beginning is also interesting – makes you wonder how they were all able to collect to collectively consider anything, and whether Gennai has any hold over them as the original he cloned the new generation of Agents from, or not. Since you’ve devoted a solid scene to them from Gennai’s perspective, I imagine they’ll play some role in future chapters, at least in Gennai’s POV. It’ll be interesting to see – don’t see many fics toying with them.

[This time the Dark Towers] – this implies there was more than one at Akhram, but the writing seemed rather focused on one so I thought that was all there was. If that’s the case and this time there’s multiple, perhaps accentuate that. Also, I’m a little amused as how they’re willing to try Imperialdramon (and it’s Ken’s idea to boot) after Wormmon fails to digivolve into Stingmon. That being a prerequisite and all. And the Dark Towers have enclosed Akhram by the looks of things – between the relation to Lovecraft mythology and the scuffle with the Witchmon, it looks like Akhram will become a semi-major if not major location. On the earlier note of Wormmon’s digivolution, you don’t mention them moving before the digivolution so how did they get out of range of the towers if they were functional at the beginning of the scene?

[Their optimism is…inspiring] – always tickles me when a bad guy comments like this. [O Opener of the Way] – is a rather lengthy title, which I think dulls the sarcasm a little – though the paragraph that follows captures it nicely. And poor Anubismon. I rather like his character design so a tired/stuck Anubismon is both gratifying and sad. And thirty portals? I wonder what’s the plan for all of those. And good to see these guys considering the fact that the Chosen might still prevail. Granted, still under-estimating by the looks of things, but not like the Dark Masters who were positive they were going to win even after they were at one quarter. Interesting note to end on as well. Time for the next chapter!
Igenlode Wordsmith chapter 16 . 7/5/2015
The start of this chapter is a bit confusing: I eventually worked out that all the characters effectively arrive back *twice*, once in summary and then again pair by pair in the full narrative. But it's very disconcerting to have the story talking about Takeru being cheerful on his return in paragraph two, and then to have Taichi explaining that neither Takeru nor Iori are back yet fifteen or so paragraphs later... especially as we've already had the comparison made between the exhaustion of the others and the effects of Iori and Takeru's climb out.

The other thing that struck me about this scene is the sudden increase in sophistication of the narrative when we get to Taichi's nightmare; up to then it's been really simple dialogue that does little more than the reader with information, and some equally simple summaries of the characters' actions. Now we suddenly switch into 'literary mode' with that chilling list of corpses and the dreadfully effective last line ("she wasn't wearing any skin"...)

"he turned the final, dreaded corner, and saw the end of hall": typo ("end of the hall")
"lying in the gloom before elevator doors": typo ("before the elevator doors")

"one would have seen only a pair of bobbing lights, one yellow, one red, both spherical" - reading this, I assumed that the Book must be floating around in a red sphere, since Wisemon is only described as having created a single yellow sphere to illuminate his way out of the cave :-(

The Book that "had a funny way of returning to him when lost" reminds me of various artefacts in legend that persist in returning to their true master, sometimes by gruesome methods...
This is a sort of handwritten journal, apparently, rather than a printed history or grimoire. (I can't help being reminded of the journal that writes itself in "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" - and which turns out to be possessed - but I imagine it's an old trope.)

"This person was tall, and did not look like any Digimon that Wisemon had ever seen" - an interesting perspective from someone whose perspective is apparently familiar with humanoid creatures but not with actual human beings.
Judging by the glittering eyes, it's clearly the Dark Man; presumably this meeting was the explicit aim of his little night-time stroll of the previous chapter, rather than any outing to enjoy the beauty of the sky. And the Book clearly knows him and possibly belongs to him...
Igenlode Wordsmith chapter 15 . 7/5/2015
It's an interesting idea to give us a glimpse of the viewpoint of the defeated enemies, rather than just having them as cannon-fodder whose function in life is to get disposed of by our protagonists. I'm sardonically amused by the pragmatic - and, I get the impression, euphemistic - decision of the sole surviving Witchmon, who "notic[ing] that her comrades had been defeated" decides that this means her services are no longer required and she can leave... or, possibly, runs away at top speed :-D

I was somewhat taken aback at the reappearance of BlackTailmon at this point, since I'd taken it for granted that the dead Bastemon had been BlackTailmon's evolved form; re-reading ch9, I see that while Bastemon appears after the smaller cat-Digimon slips out of sight, the very short timescale makes that transformation seem less likely. In my defence I'll say that there are a confusing number of cats in this chapter (and that at least some websites list BlackTailmon/BlackGatomon as a stage in Bastemon's evolution!)

Again, BlackTailom is very cat-like in this chapter in her grooming, pounce/release games and her studied unconcern.

"At least you won't *starve* to death" - a further charmingly amoral sentiment...

"The town was as silent at it had been since the coming of the Dark Tower" - typo ("as it had been")

"The dimensional gate had closed. There remained only the large metallic ring which had bounded it" - what large metallic ring? Is this a marking on the floor on the far side of the portal? From the original description it sounded as if the latter was nothing more than a rippling distortion in the air, and I certainly wasn't visualising any such metal boundary from the description of the woods on the coven's side of the gate...

"You've failed": defeated enemies clearly don't survive very *long* around here - a clear sign of an Evil Overlord in the neighbourhood!

"While the Chosen Children have been racing around the Digital World risking their lives to destroy a handful of Dark Towers, we have been building steadily": yes, I'd got the impression that the whole thing was just a diversion - though the Children don't seem to have cottoned onto that yet.

"the Witchmon do not know the true gods": given the summary, I'm guessing that we're talking about the Great Old Ones here :-(

I'd assumed that "Take her to Row Five" was just generic "take her to jail/to execution" talk for this canon, and skimmed over it; but Anubismon's uneasy speculations about why a "fifth row" would be needed suddenly cast this in a considerably more sinister light! And just what are Sato's "inventions"? He is starting to sound like Doctor Moreau.

The Dark Man, as usual, radiates an air of general amusement and enjoyment...
rockyroad69 chapter 3 . 7/5/2015
So, further discussion :)

The slow pace of this plot is killing me, you are such a tease~

But I loved how you actually relieved my initial fears and treated the digimon as real characters, real partners to their human partners yea. :)

So it looks like everyone is getting bad dreams, and I can only conclude that it's all connected, and the dreams is perhaps part of a dark foreboding that something that might happen between all the children. The story is taking a little bit of a darker tone here, with how you subtly showed the silent desperation and fear growing in Hikari with all of these nightmares she is having, silencing her personality, so to speak.

And actually, here is my nitpick. While I loved that moment where Tailmon reminds Hikari of the fact that she wasn't alone, but I felt this line here [The girl was silent for - sweet smile] felt very abrupt. While I felt that this could be built upon, and showed more, I do recognize how she subtly is uncertain, and that the story never did mention her choice and her thinking about it, which really does make me wonder if she's doing it simply for Tailmon's sake, but still feels that same fear, so to speak.

Well then, the earthquakes seem rathet (italics)coincidental(italics), almost in relation to dem nightmares that the children are facing. I can only wonder if something or someone powerful kind of awakened and was powerful enough to shake up the whole Digital Worrld, and perhaps torment our poor heroes with nightmares.

And that last line, does make me fear for them. It sounds so morbid, for some weird reason.

The foreboding continues! The plot further unravels and I can't wait to read the next chapter.

-Art
rockyroad69 chapter 2 . 7/5/2015
So Ken sets up the meeting.

Interesting how you related the situation to the Dark Ocean and Demon - it does rather fit the nightmares that Hikari had the previous time, not to mention he does have a bit of a score to settle with Ken after getting thrown into the Dark Ocean. The atmosphere is well put, with the tenseness of the group of children, and Hikari's subdued state as compared to her normal outgoing-ish nature.

Also, it does settle in an atmosphere of fear with the Children, and I must say you're doing a good job at getting me to ask even more questions about the plot you're weaving, the suspense is building about the possible "enemies" they might be having, and I hope I get to see the Digimon partners perhaps play a major role later in the plot, it's good to see them as characters, not just fighting machines as in some stories.

And that ending... it seems they're being watched.. doesn't bode well for them - looks like they're walking into a trap, and this Hiraga seems to be working for his "employers" paying good money just to watch those kids. I mean, I wonder why they're so hm, vigilant over a bunch of kids, yeah :p

Sounds like some not-so-good motives coming, and man, I can't wait to see how it goes~

Tbh, I would have loved to see the plot move a little more, but I'll take the suspense. And very foreboding as well. ;)

-art
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