|Reviews for Gosick: Destined Story|
| Justin chapter 1 . 9/22/2013
Oh sorry for being confused, so.. they actually were in Japan huh, hmm that's true one, but well maybe you have forgotten that, Ruri wasn't really good at either english or france, so... it would be a little ridiculous if Grevil visited Japan all by himself...
| Justin chapter 2 . 9/22/2013
Quite good but, I have to tell you something, when the war was over, Victorique and Kujou wasn't at Saubreme, they were at Japan, and... if you wanna say they went to Saubreme after they united, you need to mention why Ruri-chan was there and a little epilogue about their journey to Saubreme
| brokenangelsely chapter 2 . 2/10/2013
Please continue! :D
| lorella moon chapter 2 . 11/5/2012
| Misaka 20.001 chapter 2 . 8/24/2012
did this story still active? i hope you make next
| Misaka 20.001 chapter 1 . 8/24/2012
again, i found a fic that fit with my quick reading pace. hehehe
| VictoriqueD.Blois11 chapter 2 . 7/14/2012
Hm wonder who it is :3
| QuietDragon chapter 1 . 6/26/2012
This is a pretty good story and I like the inclusion of the snow woman myth, but you need to work a bit more on your word choice. There are some spelling mistakes, also (like "mearly" should be "merely").
It was a little bit hard to tell that it was from Kujo's perspective at the start.
Also, since you're writing in third-person prose, there's no need to use things like "*sniffs*", this is not a script. You can, instead, write parts like this:
""Ru-Ruri-chan.*sniff*" Victorique said
"Ru-Ruri-chan," Victorique said, while sniffling.
"Ru-Ruri-chan," Victorique sniffled.
Also, in the upper half of the story, it would be helpful, as well as more interesting to read, if you mentioned which characters were saying which lines of dialogue. It would make it more interesting if you told us what they were doing as they spoke... for example, Victorique has a tendancy of puffing up her chest or lefting her head proudly while she speaks. Kujo tends to smile nervously or laugh lightheartedly while he speaks and so on! It would make it easier to understand, but also more interesting to read!
This is only my advice, but I think your story would be improved by following some of it!
Although, I wonder how Grevil hid his identity by wearing a hood... did he bring his hair down? If it's still in that pointy, drill-like pompadour, I would think he would still look very conspicious, because the hood might wind up very pointy at the top! xD;; Or is it down? If it is, it would have been best if you pointed that out! _ Maybe in the description of him taking off the hood... it could've been more dramatic that way too!
"Victorique blushed and steam once again can be seen coming out of her head."
Considering steam can't actually rise out of there, you could use "I could almost see steam rising out of her head." This is more of a visual gag, which isn't as amusing on paper as it is on screen, and feels a bit out of place in such a serious story! But it might just be your style, so you can keep it if you like.
| James Birdsong chapter 2 . 5/9/2012
Cool two chapters
| ILoveAnime101 chapter 1 . 5/3/2012
I love the story and it's funny too :D
| animeluv3 chapter 1 . 1/14/2012
is that it? continue please.
oh and u made a couple of mistakes oni-san is brother and -san is for boys and -chan is for girls.!