|Reviews for Retribution|
| Guest chapter 10 . 5/13
OW. MY HEART. WHY WOULD YOU WRITE SOMEHING SO SAD? BUT ALSO KINDA HAPPY. ISH. I HATE AND LOVE YOU, THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME CRY
| Guest chapter 20 . 4/20
Aaaaaaaaaah i loved it! So dad to see it end. :( But really, wonderfully written, and the exact right mix of heartbreaking and adorable. Two thumbs way up!
| Guest chapter 8 . 4/19
I really love this fic, and how you write these characters! Poor Edgar though... :(
| Idonquixote chapter 2 . 2/5/2013
Hey! You just got 25 reviews- YES! I'm gonna bump it to 26.
Reviewing chapter 2- "A Home for You" is all over this- it's so warm and sad. lol at Edgar and the fruit fly. How cute can you make him anyway? Now he's like a puppy playing with toys.
Motherly Meredith shows her face and again I melted at her interaction with Edgar. I also liked the foreshadowing with Thomas as always- here, he's still just a regular guy without homicidal tendencies. Same with Shelley: you've got brat down to a T.
Oh man, Meredith- just face it, you love your son way more than a pet.
| Glass Prism chapter 18 . 1/30/2013
Holy crap, I just learned that in my Psych course! Are you a Pysch major? (I am.) I was going to mention that in one my massively long author's notes for my may-never-be-completed FanFiction, but it looks like you beat me to it! LOL. I also remember from other case studies that children can't really learn language after the age two. I also ignored that little fact. :P
Teehee, Edgar is so cute. "Blood pounding in ears"...that's a lot of blood, ha ha ha. That rattling off about leaves was hilarious, though...good Edgar, break the mood.
Ah, I like how Meredith just came in and scolded them like that. It's like she thinks of them both as her children, and she treats them that way...only they're not quite that anymore...
Augh, it's over? Without a declaration of love? And... THANKSGIVING? I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG! UPDATE, WOMAN!
Just kidding, ha ha ha...but seriously, update, please?
| Glass Prism chapter 17 . 1/30/2013
Was that exam you took the CAHSEE? LOL. Easiest exam ever; I spent most of the exam time reading. Ha ha ha.
Anyway, another great chapter! I love looking into Edgar's head, and I really liked the one part where he discovers the difference between his love for Shelley and his love for Meredith. And also when Meredith wants to adopt Edgar, which is just so ironic to me on so many levels.
I also liked seeing Meredith and Dr. Parker's love life, or lack thereof, something I kind of wanted to write about in Vignettes but never really got the opportunity to, and where he sort of contemplates being the VERY unlikely mix of veterinarian and hunter (after reading over the script a couple of times I remember thinking, "Wait, he hunts? AND he takes care of sick animals? WTF?" but I chalked it up to overall depression and stuff). Dr. Parker to me is not really evil - he's almost driven to it, it seems, by Meredith and love and jealousy and all that. The townspeople are a lot easier to hate, though, LOL...
And you are right about not keeping the alcoholism thing in, though in the script it only pops up once or twice, so I guess it's easily cut out. My school cut out drug references too. (Heck, when I read the script about how the Taylor kids were smoking weed, my eyes bugged out. I find it even more hilarious because some schools stage it so that Ruthie Taylor is eight years old or something...ha ha ha...hilarious image...) And I also admit to not liking Show You a Thing or Two as much, though having the damn song stuck in my head on a constant loop while taking an AP test may have contributed to my dislike...
Anyway, only one more chapter? Sadness. Oh well. I look forward to it, and I can understand why you wouldn't want to go into Act 2, where the events take place over just a few hours, really. Great chapter! Update soon...or not...if it's the last...
| Glass Prism chapter 16 . 1/30/2013
Yes, people do need to have a temper tantrum. Though, if you want to be cynical, his whole "Apology to a Cow" thing might count as a tantrum. I know this was last chapter, and I kind of forgot, but you made Shelley blonde, ha ha. Now I just imagine Kerry Butler or Emma Williams in the role.
That was so well-done, his huge rage against Shelley and all. It was intense, a really wonderful condensing of all his feelings over all these chapters. And I love Shelley's response, and the kiss is so, so romantic... Though Edgar is right for thinking that his fantasies of kissing Shelley are indecent, but not for the reasons he thinks... Oh Bat Boy, darn you for making incest so exciting... I sort of wish you could go into the second act, but everything pretty much happens without a lot of room for speculation.
I can see you working with Shelley's struggle to be more independent and all that... I saw an interview with a girl who played her, and she said Shelley was the baby daughter who acts like a teenager at some points and acts like someone much younger at other points. So I can totally get what you're doing here.
Looking forward to the last few chapters. I'll miss this when it's over. I hope more people write Bat Boy FanFiction.
| Glass Prism chapter 15 . 1/30/2013
Long chapters are fun! LOL.
So Edgar's a reader too, hmm? Yay, that makes me feel better... I made him into a math kind of guy, since he has a CPA in accounting and everything...but he's kind of an all-around genius.
He's so sweet to Shelley, it's so cute. But ouch, that kissing bit... you think it might be all dramatic and touching and stuff, but it sort of went like whoosh...very different...and now I want to go to the next chapter!
| Glass Prism chapter 14 . 1/30/2013
Another great chapter, and what a cliffhanger. I can't wait for Edgar's first kiss. And I like what Shelley was saying about his tapes, and how it was a mistake to get them from BBC and all that... very hilarious. Looking forward to the next chapter!
| Glass Prism chapter 13 . 1/30/2013
And that one person reviewing would be me!
What can I say that has not been said already? Oh, so you're finally reaching the speaking tapes? Those lines are something else that made me want to throw up. Uh, in a good way. Just when Edgar goes "Indubitably!" in a British accent and everyone laughs in this wonderfully fakey way - it's hilarious! But it's also cringe-worthy. So oftentimes I sort of ignore that aspect, ha ha...I also have the UK version on my MP3, and they take that aspect out (probably because it's weird for British people to hear a guy fake what is not an accent to them, LOL), so I take it out too... I've gotten sidetracked...
So Shelley's relationship with Rick is cooling? Nice, time to move on to the better boy. But that almost-sex/rape scene was intense. Your description of Edgar's, erm, body, was fun. I felt like I had fallen into a romance novel, LOL. And so was her learning Bat. Maybe he should teach her what "oooOOOOoooo" means.
And only one more chapter? GAH! Must get ideas...the only suggestion is flipping through the script for something...I'm brain-dead. If I can think of anything for you, I'll private message you! THIS STORY MUST CONTINUE!
| Idonquixote chapter 18 . 1/20/2013
Week 10 already! Interesting about Viktor- I remember watching a movie about him a long time ago when I was still taking French class. It was called "Wild Child" and had a relatively happy ending. Don't feel too bad about Bat Boy- the story's more of a metaphor than any take on reality (I'm a bit skeptical of the whole bat rape producing child thing) and Bat Boy really IS half bat, not just raised by animals.
So Parker's starting the descent into madness. I wish I had Edgar's motivation too but eh...
Seriously, just how adorable can you make the Edgar/Shelley moments? Because you write them really friggin' cute. Haha, Shelley still doesn't seem to get the hang of it- Edgar and common speech don't compute. I guess this means she's completely over Rick.
Again, I like the subtle details you throw in about Thomas and Shelley. Because there was a point of time when he was a good dad, a good man, a good husband- the guy's a tragic villain.
Gosh, Edgar's ambitious. I wouldn't be surprised if he DID end up learning all those languages in your story lol. And the flowers. He's trying to kill Shelley with a bout of cuteness overdose.
And they're both trying to kill me with cuteness overdose (they belong in Sugar Rush). I can totally see Shelley crying without noticing Edgar's obliviousness. And their tickle fight. Haha, Meredith's such a neutral person- she just assumes Shelley likes Edgar as a brother.
That was fun to read, as always.
| Idonquixote chapter 1 . 1/12/2013
Reviewing from chapter 1! That was really in character and I could see this actually happening in the musical. LOL at Shelley's reaction to everything, and duckling!Edgar. I could so hear Kerry Butler say "Not a very smart bat boy, are you?" and all her other lines, really.
I have a soft spot for the interactions in Act I because it's really how those play out that makes what happens in Act II that much more endearing. Overall, that was a nice introductory chapter and had a nice bit of foreshadowing ("family"). I also like how you expressed Edgar's thoughts- childish and unable to come out.
P.S Would you like an AO3 (Archive of Our Own, that other ff site I mentioned from forever ago) account? I recently got mine and could send you an invite if you'd like. I don't really know how it works but I think with the invite, you get the account faster.
| Idonquixote chapter 10 . 12/8/2012
Oh man, it's been a while since I left a review- not exactly living up to my promise, but I'll get there bit by bit. Screw the busyness of real life.
On with the review! Feel the burn, Meredith, feel the burn I've wanted to say this for a while, but this is one of my favorite chapters. All the emotions were spot on, and the whole thing is one big tearjerker. *Sniff* Most people would probably gloss over Meredith completely or over-prose her emotions- I think you had it just right. Little enough to make it poignant and just enough to make it realistic.
All her life she's had to live with the guilt of getting rid of her son, and wondering if she made the right choice or not. Then bam, he's back, and acting all adorable, sweet, innocent, etc. which just makes her even guiltiER.
From your AN, it looks like you didn't like this chap that much (back then at least)- I thought it was wonderful, though. You really do get a kick out of pushing Edgar around, don't you? haha, just kidding- you did him justice, though. thumbs up
| Idonquixote chapter 17 . 11/1/2012
Gasp! You mean Edgar didn't pass the exam in one minute?!
This chapter was adorable as always. I know exactly how Edgar feels- big tests tend to fry your nerves. I didn't expect Meredith to lie to him about the first score, though; that was a nice twist. The guy could use a heck of a lot more confidence.
I thought you did Thomas really well too. I could see how messed up he was and that he really wasn't that happy to begin with. You're right- people don't just go from "happy dad" to "serial killer"; he really is a complex character and if it wasn't for Edgar, I would be fascinated by Thomas. And you made it clear his hatred for the boy was more toward what he symbolized than what he actually was.
Sorry for the late review!
| Idonquixote chapter 16 . 10/28/2012
Just finished week 8 (both parts!) And yes, you could have given them a room, but the tent was so much better! And cuter
What you did with Shelley worked well, really really well. You didn't just develop Edgar over the 8 weeks, you gave Shelley a helluva lot of character development too. Everything leading up to "Inside Your Heart" is even better now because I've adopted your story into my headcanon.
As always, I awwwed at 90% of this chap. Just camping in the backyard is adorable. When you mentioned Thomas stargazing with little!Shelley, it added even more depth to this fic- even the "villain" had his fair share of moments. The scary stories were cute (sorry for using this word so much). In some other tent in some other backyard, some other kid would be telling a scary story about the bat boy- ah, the irony.
And Edgar's little tantrum. I can totally see Shelley feeling nervous and making a bad joke at the wrong moment. And the GUILT that she felt- you conveyed that awesomely- especially when you reminded us that Edgar's almost always smiling around her. I'm sorry- I'm bad at finding the right review words; just agh, when she realized how much the relationship meant to both of them and the snuggles.
Finally they "get together"! It was worth the wait. Shelley realizing that Edgar's handsome makes sense both literally and metaphorically- he's more attractive because she knows and likes him now. And if Shelley is pretty, Edgar should technically be pretty too, being her twin.
Great job again! Now if only Pan would show up and whisk them away before all the crap from Act II happens.