|Reviews for The Outlaw, The Star and The Big, Big Sky|
| iPinkNinja chapter 7 . 4/5/2012
Aw I hope you continue this story! I was really happy when I saw this in my inbox. Great writing so far, I love it! :)
| dr.evil99 chapter 7 . 4/4/2012
Very sorry to hear that thing have interfered with writing, but I know how that goes. I'd love to see this finished... This is possibly the most unique story I've read in this fandom. There's a real sense of world-building here, a real feeling of weight behind it all. The ponies of Appleloosa are all wonderfully realized, and interact in interesting and surprising ways. Most of all, Braeburn is a very compelling protagonist, with his hints of a troubled past and tendency to second-guess his actions. His scenes with Starlight are truly magical.
I'm holding out hope that this does get finished, and will remain ever-patient. Something this good is worth the wait.
| iPinkNinja chapter 3 . 1/19/2012
Well thats ominous. Great story so far! I'm excited to see where this goes!
| XNULLX chapter 3 . 1/15/2012
Really the only criticism I can think of at all is that horizontal rules or some form of separator would really help with the major scene transitions, such as moving from the quarry collapse to explaining things to Silverstar. The dialogue got a little confusing for a few seconds there, between what was said at the quarry and where the office began. Other than that, I wouldn't change much if anything so far.
As for the actual chapter, I really, really liked the beginning, with Braeburn waking up and such. I'm guessing that Braeburn is the owner of the other gun in Appleoosa, that's what he keeps under the floor, and it has something to do with the past he'd rather not revisit? I've got my own theory as to what, exactly, but I won't get into it here. Definitely looking forward to finding out what happened, if it's going to be revealed. If not, the mystery is still pretty cool, and gives Braeburn some depth as a character regardless.
Really liking the whole ordeal with Linky thus far. She's a good character, and does a good job of balancing Braeburn. Their entire train ride to the quarry, followed by the quarry collapse, was am effective scene and written very well. It was pretty easy to visualize what was going on, and given the chaotic nature of the scene, that's a great thing. It also set up the mystery of the buffalo/rams in a believable way, and helped to keep what the coming problem is pretty ambiguous.
The entire ending was also quite good, and I like that it stopped on a bit of a cliffhanger note. Sad that there has already been a casualty (Bloomburg), but it was bound to happen. Poor tree. I really have no idea what could have happened, but it's certainly interesting and I can't wait to see more!
| XNULLX chapter 2 . 1/15/2012
Weird. Chapter just got taken down or something, but I got to the review window before then. Hopefully this goes through...
Anyway, really, REALLY good work here. Appleoosa being a background town kinda necessitates giving us some background info on it before the readers can really relate to what's going on, and you did some awesome universe-building here. It's a tall order to establish a good round of background characters when setting up a story like this in one chapter, but I really like how you did it. This didn't feel nearly as long as it was, and I chalk that up to how well you kept things flowing. All of the interactions were just long enough to give a good feel for the characters being introduced, and you've got a nice little cast going here. I really like the inclusion of Berry Punch, as she adds a familiar element to this, even if she isn't that important in canon.
Speaking of universe-building, I like the entire idea with guns being outlawed and such. It was very nice to see some history on that, and it helps to explain the entire thing with using pies against the buffalo. All of the background for the town was both good and believable, and I like how you've put a realistically mature spin on things such as the adoption of new citizens from previous outlaws, without making it too dark. If things do get dark later, I'm sure it'll be great, but this is a very good way to ease people in to the idea that this is a more realistic Equestria, and one that isn't always puppies and rainbows.
Next, there's Braeburn, the star of the show himself. I've always liked him, and was very eager to see how you'd handle him. I do like that you toned down his talkativeness a little, but still made it a trait. Keeping his constant yammering would have made it somewhat hard to take the situation seriously, so little faults like he had with the buffalo (can't look up his name since the chapter is down... Watergaze?) work wonders to make that weakness of his more relatable in a serious situation. The detailing of his house and job were also nice, and sibling bickering is always fun. Braeburn brings a nice, slightly lighter element to this story to contrast the incoming seriousness, and I'm interested to see how he copes with whatever big changes might be coming. The ominous chapter ending and his words about waiting until after the SSC don't bode well at all, and I can't wait to see what happens.
So yeah. Really good first actual chapter, and you've got a great, unique setup. Always nice to see authors trying something new, and I really hope that people jump onto this one.
| XNULLX chapter 1 . 1/15/2012
Well, you certainly know how to make things mysterious and interesting. Braeburn in the summary, with a story setup detailing some huge change, followed by an enigmatic chapter one in which he doesn't even appear? Count me in. We don't get nearly enough stories like this, where things start out completely in the dark. It's a good tactic, especially when the main character is a secondary. Makes it so that literally anything could happen, and the effectiveness of the writing style ends up being what will catch or lose people. Thankfully, your writing is still awesome, and you did a great job with the descriptions and giving the reader just enough info to be able to follow the events without having any idea what's actually going on.
Not too much else I can say yet, but I love that you went and included the rams. Given that they haven't shown up in canon, and the fact that they likely never will, you're free to craft their entire set of beliefs and mannerisms. The culture that you've given us a window to thus far is interesting, and I love that the leader is apparently plotting against the princesses with a clear motive already. Always nice to see something darker than would be in canon, but still believable. Definitely looking forward to wherever this may go, and it's great to see you writing again!