Reviews for Mutual Misery
blueravenchick chapter 1 . 9/15
Amazing story, but so sad!
Athio chapter 1 . 4/29
I didn't need my heart anyways.
I think you literally just crushed it...

Saying "good job," or "great job" doesn't come close to what I want to say, but I guess it'll have to do.
You have left me in a state of not being able to think straight, and for that I say bravo!

Keep at it!
Lilyfire chapter 1 . 7/12/2014
It made me cry. Then again, I'm a serious wimp when it comes to sad/angsty fics like these, but still. It was really moving and well written.
IAmCommonSense chapter 1 . 7/7/2014
This is great! I love how you worked WITH the situation surrounding Ahsoka and Rex, rather than ignore it. Ahsoka is very in-character despite the seriousness with which you portrayed her, because she is unlikely to betray the ideals and beliefs she was taught from almost infancy. I really like this :-)
spikala chapter 1 . 6/7/2012
Very sad story but it felt so right - very much what the characters might just do. I really enjoyed this, thank you so much for sharing it and putting it out there for us all to see.
Jade-Max chapter 1 . 1/21/2012
This was so hauntingly in character and sad.

The detail you put into this was incredible; you've nailed them character wise perfectly.

I felt so bad for Rex in this, not really understanding why Ahsoka's suddenly avoiding him, but having the courage to confront her... sometimes it's better not to know :/

The revelation that it was Rex's injuries, the thought she might lose him for good, that brought on her avoidance of him after she'd reflected on her actions to get him out [touching the darkside] was probably my favorite part of the fic... aside from Rex confronting her at the end.

I concur with other reviewers that the 'She loved Rex but loved the Jedi Order more' line was a great way to sum up Ahsoka's inner conflict. She's strong enough to resist, but at the same time, even though she knows what she wants and what she has to do, it's not as easy as she thinks it should be.

The final part with Ahsoka practicing alone in the dark after Rex leaves is beautiful in its poignancy.

A wonderful, if heartbreaking, fic.
Taraum chapter 1 . 1/18/2012
Wow, that was really good; awesomely in-character and angsty. You captured both of their personalities and reactions wonderfully!
Elle chapter 1 . 1/16/2012
poor captain rex awwww :'( but nice story any way if she doesn't want him there are plenty of other people who would (me) ;) great story! :D
DoubleEO chapter 1 . 1/16/2012
Good story. Sad... but good. :D
Queen chapter 1 . 1/16/2012
So sad! Lovely, but sad. You do an excellent job here of catching the discomfort of the relationship - just a look across the mess hall, and that's all it takes to express the awkwardness. The acknowledgment of why they wouldn't work together - forbidden, not long to live - is just really sad. They're both so inexperienced with this sort of thing, and neither seems to know quite how to handle it. Rex seems angry as well as hurt, and Ahsoka so uncertain and pained.

I love the line "She loves Rex, but she loves the Order more." It's really a complicated problem she faces - she's always been a Jedi, it's been her whole life and she expects it to be her whole future. It's a part of who she is, and that's so hard to give up, even for someone you love. You summarize the entire problem very neatly with those few words.

There's also a lot of wonderful visuals in here too - Ahsoka performing kata, fighting through her thoughts like soft grey shadows, her lightsaber cutting through them. And the final image of Ahsoka, by herself in the dark, practicing alone...eerie and so very sad.

Wonderful work here.
laloga chapter 1 . 1/15/2012

First of all, I'm so glad that you took the time to write this! It's truly a powerful one-shot, and it deserves to be shared. :) I hope that you find the motivation to continue, or to [cough]hopefully[cough] write a nice, fluffy *something* to counteract the angsty-ness of this piece. Don't get me wrong, I do love angst, but fluff exists to balance it out, right? :P

Okay, my rambling aside, this was a wonderful ficlet! You had so many fantastic details in here, like Ahsoka's hyper-awareness of Rex's body language, or the "soft sound" of her bare feet on the kata mat. However, I think my favorite part was the actual conversation between them, because neither character said many words, but there was *so much* being said between them, if that makes sense. Great job with Ahsoka's thoughts, her dilemma, and her resolution, though I'm with sachariah on the Order's ostrich-head-in-the-sand perspective on attachment. (Ignoring it won't make it go away, Yoda! :P)

Loved the sharp, angry way that Rex carried himself here - "challenging," as you said - because it showed what he was willing to do for her, to show her that *she* was the most important thing to him; I honestly felt that if she'd said "yes, Rex, let's run away," he'd have done so without hesitation, so deep were his feelings for her. This Rex felt more (this one's for you, sachariah) grim than we normally see him, perhaps due to Umbara, but mostly (I think) because he knows he's fighting a battle for her heart that he can't win.

"She loves Rex, but she loves the Order more." Fantastic line. In a way, this is different than the usual "attachment" scenario, but she came to this realization based on her realization of her feelings for Rex. It's a hard truth to accept, but a truth nonetheless.

His "last plea..." Sigh. I so wanted her to rush into his arms...but alas, that wasn't to be. (Maybe you could write a fluffy AU ficlet that mirrors this but ends more happily?)

Loved how you ended the scene with just her and her lightsaber - a physical manifestation of her choice.

Excellent work! :D
sachariah chapter 1 . 1/15/2012
Oh my.

How much more *cruel* can you possibly get? You turn out this *stellar* peice, one that leaves me depressed and amazed at the same time, *and* you leave hints of a potential "light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel" follow up... and *then* you say *not* to expect it?

Sorry, let me cool off... there, that's better. :P

Seriously (and yes, I was kidding you in the above), I'm not sure what's more saddening - this one-shot, or that you're finding the motivation to write is hard to come by. I know how it goes, so I'll try not to bug you too much, but trust me, I will be waiting for a follow-up to this story regardless. I can't help it... I'm just not good at accept not-happy endings.

This piece really is top notch. Not just because you have characterization perfected to a 'T'. Nor because you bring to life such heartwrenching emotional conflict within the characters. Not merely because you describe the scene, the sounds and feel of ordinary action like lightsaber practicex to a degree where I felt truly immersed in the story.

All of that is true, but on top of that, you also *nailed* the entire rational behind the Jedi ban on attachment. It's not some absurd "Love is the dark side" nonesense. Nor is it a conspiracy to cause the Jedi to fall and spell the undoing of the Order.

Rather, the problem with attachment is *exactly* what Ahsoka experienced, as you laid out so kriffing perfectly. It is, in a sense, a guaranteed source of fear. One cannot help but fear for those you care about. And as Ahsoka saw, that fear can easily become desperation, obsession, and anger and hatred for anyone and anything that stands between you and your loved one.

Cold as it may be, Master Yoda was all too correct.

Of course, that's a very one-sided view of attachment, as Luke Skywalker and the NJO demonstrated. It ignores the fact that, as Ahsoka implicitly demonstrates here, some degree of attachment is a near necessity for sentient life. It also completely disregards the strength and the clarity (a pair of terms I shamelessly stole from laloga... but only because she was right. :P) that these relationships - be they romantic or simply strong, intimate friendship - can bring a person.

In fact, in many ways, attachments can balance each other. Yes, Ahsoka's attachment to Rex caused her to lose control, and skirt the Dark side. But what if instead of an exclusive attachment to Rex, Ahsoka was also attached in a myriad of other ways? What if she had other close friends and companions (Anakin, Obi-Wan, Barriss, Plo Koon) who she could turn to for comfort and direction when she faced these sorts of feelings? If Anakin and Obi-Wan had been allowed to share a bond of attachment, would that have been at least an impediment to his fall? If Anakin had been free to share his fears and nightmares regarding Padme with Obi-Wan, could he have found some other way to cope with the fear?

Ah... but I digress (which goes to show just how thought-provoking this peice is!). To be honest, I think Ahsoka could have gone either way at that crucial moment when Rex all but begs her "don't do this." She's an impulsive person by nature, after all. In a way, even though I feel the choice was wrong, it goes to demonstrate the strength of her character when she chooses the Order over Rex. She has been taught that this is the correct path, and no matter how much it hurts, she's determined to do what she believes is right.

If only she knew how wrong it was... sigh.

It made it only harder to read, but I have to say I was immensely impressed by the utter "fakeness" of Ahsoka's "peace" at the end. In the final analysis, this is exactly what happened to the Jedi Order in general. Their stance against something as natural and innate as attachment left them all in a position of "living a lie", as Anakin said. Perhaps a handful of Jedi truly operated in a completely detached manner, but the vast majority merely squelched their feelings, denied them, and spent their lives trying to be something they were not. Cold, invulnerable, autonomic entities that needed no mutual support, that didn't need a shoulder to cry on or a heart to love.

As hard as it is to accept, Ahsoka Tano is a product of a system, just as Rex himself is. And as much as we'd like to think otherwise, there's no guarantee that such a person will ever break out.

Ugh... my evening is ruined. Ruined, I tell you! Just kidding - you've done a masterful job, weaving together conflict, emotion, angst, and all without the slightest pinch of hope that cowards like me always throw in at the end of the most tragic account. I truly hope that you can find inspiration to continue, even if it's just one, halfway-hopeful follow up to this stellar one-shot.

Fantastic work, and God bless.
captainrexbest35 chapter 1 . 1/15/2012
wow that was... ssad