|Reviews for Reforged|
| Queen chapter 1 . 1/18/2012
That is a brilliant opening line. The entire analogy is a wonderful description of moving through life. All the details are there, too - the imagery of being filled up with random bits of this and that until exploding is very vibrant, wistful and a bit painful too. Really, well done!
The following paragraphs as well - you really get across the image of a young woman who's struggling to deal with everything going on around her, and she's broken just a bit, and maybe a little angry too - she's not a child any longer and that hacking off of her hair with her lightsaber was a powerful moment that represented that. And then she keeps moving forward, hard as it is...and fixes her hair. She's lost something, but she's still there, it's not all lost, and she's still moving forward.
And at the very end, you return to the vase and pot imagery, and I love the mythical feel you give the end, as you said, a bit like Aesop. What was broken was been remade.
Really, this is absolutely a wonderful piece of writing. Great job.
| sachariah chapter 1 . 1/17/2012
Excited to see something new show up! :) I am sorry for the delay in reviewing... it's been one of those days. :P
And it seems I'm at a disadvantage, being the latecomer: quite honestly, laloga said pretty much everything I wanted to about the vase (the hair.. well, being a sort of Mr. Average myself when it comes to hair, I really don't have any experience to go from. But I'll take your word for it).. The analogy was striking, and carried through to such detail I couldn't help but grin the sort of stupid grin I normally reserve for shameless, fluffy scenes (preferably featuring clones).
It's a minor detail, but I loved how you SW-ified the opening scenes regarding the "story" of the vase - by which I mean flimsi, as opposed to paper, and little tidbits like the wiring from a "cybernetic pet." So homey, and yet with a sci-fi taste that we all love.
Referring to the analogy itself, again, I really don't have anything new to say. It's a profound parallel, to say the least, and it melds so perfectly with the overarching themes of hope and redemption that run throughout the Star Wars saga. Just like the seams and cracks in a broken vase, the damage across the galaxy is real and won't ever go away - things will never be the same. Sals will never be the naive, innocent girl she once was. Padme Amidala will never come back to life. Alderann will never be restored. And yet there's always the hope that, though scars will remain, something new, something stronger can and will arise from the ashes. Someone who cares can, piece by piece, reassemble the poor vase, and make things right again.
This really is an angsty beginning - I infer that this is immediately after Swiftwater loses her Master, yes? In any case, it does seem to be a real turning point for Sals, and it's rather inspiring, to be honest. The mundane details - showering, tending to her wounds - combined with the symbolic nature of the haircut, leading up to a truly powerful moment of recognition, acceptance, even a sort of peace with the transition from the "green-eyed girl" to "the woman in the mirror... worth becoming." It was beautiful, in a grim sort of way, and I can see instantly how it builds into the General Swiftwater we know from Hevoi (and Small Steps... sigh :P), though I suppose there's a bit more war-weariness in the latter portrayal.
Wonderful work - your narrative is simply stunning and a delight to read. I truly love the character you've created with Sayn-Linn (even though I keep forgetting the name :P) and I can't wait to see where this goes, as well as your other work with this continuity. Awesome stuff! :)
| laloga chapter 1 . 1/17/2012
"Many people fail to notice the comparisons between themselves and flower vases." Love, love, love this first line! :D I was caught totally off-guard by its unusual nature, and captivated immediately. Beautiful comparison between Sals and a vase; such a thing never would have occurred to me, but you pulled it off so well, here. As a Jedi, Sals exists almost on a different plane of existence, an elevated, "higher-powered" kind of life that seems far removed from anything so "mundane" as a flower-pot, but you drew on the similarities perfectly.
I *loved* watching her cut her hair. It's such a female thing, I think, the cutting of the hair. I think it's a way for us females to assert our control in some small way, you know? Anyway, I loved how she did it first with her saber in a fit of near-hysteria, and then went back later and cleaned it up. Great illustration of her growing up, and of the scars that Geonosis left upon her.
This line absolutely blew me away: "Carefully the green-eyed girl tilted her head and decided that she could grow into her look, after all, and the woman in the mirror was someone worth becoming." Utterly fantastic writing. :)
PS: I was delighted to see Swiftwater again! Hmmm...I wonder what Bluebird, Cap and Zach are up to as well? [cough]Hevoiupdatesoon?[cough] ;)
| WolvieGrrl chapter 1 . 1/17/2012
Beautiful writing! And the comparisons are absolutely amazing; they're so different, but still somehow fit the topic perfectly!