|Reviews for Revenge|
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/26/2012
WOW! It was nice short and sweet
| burns46824 chapter 1 . 6/13/2012
This was a bit dry and definitely a bit short...keep writing.
| Neosamuel chapter 1 . 3/26/2012
I never understood why Dracula didn't come to lisa's defence (he was a vampire and a sorcerer as early as lament of innocence) storywise i asume he didn't know and declared war on humanity when he found out.
| Little Gem Magnolia chapter 1 . 3/8/2012
Poor Dracula. (Those aren't words you hear every day, right?)
This was a really nice first attempt at fanfic, thank you for sharing it. :D
| TheFreelancerSeal chapter 1 . 1/18/2012
It's not a bad story. The idea is there, but while the story isn't bad, it's not exactly brilliant either. Granted, it is your first fan fic, and I don't have any right to talk. Each piece, while part of the overall story just felt disconnected from each other. To me, it was like it just didn't flow like a single story. And not to nitpick, but I don't think Dracula actually started calling himself Dracula until after Lisa died.
In terms of mechanics, I thnk you had a bit of a tense problem. Up until the very last part, you've had it in the past tense. Then right at the end, you swtich. "Now, he has to go back on his word because he will not let this be."
There was also no variety in sentence struture. It was the same thing over and over. I also think it could use a little more description. We get a little of it when you describe Lisa's death, but it could use a little fleshing out.
Still, it was a good try for your first fan fic, and one-shots are not easy to write. With a little more polishing, I think this could be a fine addition to the fandom.