|Reviews for Overdrive: A Portal Fanfiction|
| Vi-Violence chapter 2 . 8/23/2012
I like this, please update soon.
| codename pip chapter 2 . 2/5/2012
I'm glad to see you've continued this! Looking forward to more (in particular, the scene when Wheatley disconnects himself from the rail - SPLAT)
| Digitaldreamer chapter 2 . 2/3/2012
All right, finally getting around to reviewing this thing.
Right, so. First of all, I actually quite enjoy your rendition of Chell. Your descriptions of her reactions to waking up were really enjoyable- especially how she DOESN'T lie back down right now because HELL NO she's Chell. That struck me as a very... well, -her- moment and I liked it a lot. I also liked the little details of WHY she jumps when Wheatley says jump and her stumbling- both make sense and were well written. Your descriptions of ruined Aperture and the action going through it were also nicely done.
Regarding the Wheatley chapter... well, that's where my issues lie. I feel the beginning is a bit poorly paced- I understand the idea is Wheatley realizes what's going on and decides he should leave, but I feel it almost happens -too- fast and is written in an "okay hurry up I want to get to the actual content of the chapter" manner. Because the whole "time before the game" is so nebulously -long-, I kind of get the sense the start should have been a bit slower... I almost feel like you would have been better off nixing that first bit entirely and just starting out explaining the subjects he went through prior to Chell or even FLASHBACKING to them as he's getting Chell.
The actual subjects bit- admittedly it does throw me because it doesn't -quite- mesh with the game but your ideas regarding the people he went through are pretty powerful and the real DETAIL you get with the one guy who jumps and misses is fantastic. That bit is quite lovely. Also regarding your Wheatley, little things like the "eye" on his chest and him curling up on his chair are quite fun. Some lines of his do seem quite him- however, I do think the faster you get this off of the "game" track so to speak, the better off you'll be. It's a lot easier to judge one's characterization of a character when they're doing something new that we didn't see in the game- as you said, following the regular game is a bit weird and just leaves me with an "off" feeling when it is following the game.
Overall, I hate to have been so critical of this. There are parts of it that are really lovely and I thoroughly enjoy how you write Chell. I think with some polishing this could be great- though I understand you're just writing this for fun, so well, it's up to you. I'm curious to see when the original bits will kick in and where this will go from there.
| msfcatlover chapter 2 . 1/25/2012
Though repeat chapters get boring if there's too many of them, I liked this. It's good to see this scene from /both/ of their perspectives, considering how different they are. I'd like to see a few snippets from GLaDOS's point of veiw, but not too many. Perheps the scene where they wake her up? That seems like a good one to get from several different perspectives as well.
One small critique: "no matter how nice her appeared." You stuck an extra "r" in there, on your pronoun. It's clear what you mean, but it's a bit of an interruption in the flow of the chapter.
I look forward to the next update!
| shaster chapter 1 . 1/21/2012
Wonderfully written so far! I love how you write Wheatley, so in character!
I hope you update soon, can't wait to see it continued!
| msfcatlover chapter 1 . 1/19/2012
Oh, it's very good. Well-written; you've got Wheatley and Chell spot on! I look forward to the next chapter.
| codename pip chapter 1 . 1/19/2012
Okay, you've caught my intrest here. I'd like to see where you take this :)
| 000011119999222 chapter 1 . 1/19/2012
Wow. :3 This is great. And very interesting! I would definitely read more of this, if you decide to write the entire game. XD Which, by the way, you should!
Good work - keep it up!