|Reviews for New Love|
| super saiyan 4 chichi chapter 10 . 9/29/2004
this story was okay and all i just didn't like the chichi reincarnated thing also it was a bit confusing and i got so mad at first because i thought goku was going to betray chichi with that saradina slut but since she is reincarnated its still different...
| SeikoTuNeR chapter 10 . 4/3/2004
That was really good. Only complaints i have ur typos and u threw information out a lot in short amounts of time. and oh shit that chi chi reincarnated..damn i dont know how the hell people come up with stuff like that. brilliant story. one question tho. When ulitmate kia..or wutever was talken to fate..he was apparantly soul. is he goku now..he seems to be..but..so unsure..oh well imma read part 2 now!
| SeikoTuNeR chapter 8 . 4/3/2004
this is one..friggen unrelentless story. i just keep imagining this as an actually dbz movie..its great...
| SeikoTuNeR chapter 7 . 4/3/2004
i get the feeling this wont end well.
| SeikoTuNeR chapter 6 . 4/3/2004
a lady who looks good but no eye..creepy..
| SeikoTuNeR chapter 5 . 4/3/2004
oh no..wraith is goin to find them! no no!
| SeikoTuNeR chapter 4 . 4/3/2004
| SeikoTuNeR chapter 3 . 4/3/2004
Heh, right when i was wonderin where the hell is vegeta.
| SeikoTuNeR chapter 2 . 4/3/2004
dont want to say much..saving that for the final review nice tho!
| SeikoTuNeR chapter 1 . 4/3/2004
wow. where did u come up with that stuff? i know who they are talken about. arent i smart.
| chichi chapter 3 . 9/22/2002
This story seems promising lets continue shall we...
| babyblonde5333 chapter 9 . 9/21/2002
OMGK! O.O THAT WAS ONE OF THE BEST STORIES I HAVE EVER READ! seriously, you have a lot of talent. you have one of the most original plots i've ever seen and you actually created original characters that seem to fit well into the storyline. i didn't even look at the number of reviews u had gotten while i was reading and then when i looked at the end of the story, i was shocked! how could such a good story have only 7 reviews? *shakes head* i was shocked. so i did what i could and gave this story a review. and trust me, i only leave reviews to good stories, cuz it's such a pain to leave one. and i know a good story when i see one becuz i've been reading fanfictions for well over five years straight. anyway, i hope u update ure story real soon, cuz i can't wait to see what happens to goku and saradina. oh, and i was wondering- is saradina the reincarnation of chi-chi? just wondering, cuz that would be really cool. but, that's probab;y not the case. oh well, luv ure story! it kicks major ass and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise! ja, 4 now! .~
| KinDoragon chapter 9 . 9/21/2002
I really like your story. I don't know why people aren't reviewing. Oh well, I can't wait for the next chapter. I think it's going to be really good! I hope that this one little review will make a difference ;) Up-date soon! I think I've been waiting in suspense for a long time now and I really want to know what is going to happen next. Later :)
| kikikiwie chapter 10 . 9/6/2002
This was a wounderful story. I liked it aloot. Jut on thing U need to put some of the chapters in to paragraphs please. Its some time hard to read. But in all I was very impressed by the story and all. Please countinue !
| Tenshi Sasher chapter 1 . 9/5/2002
I didn't even know you were on ! That's really awesome, now I can read AND review all of your stories! YIPEE!
Hehe, to all of you readers...I have read tis one before *malicious chuckle* I read it before anyone else! My goodest friend Gloria was the one to let me read it first in its entireity! things people might not consider is what I do, which makes me...well, weird, I guess.
I loved your analogy here of the super saiyans. HOW MUCH damage a super saiyan could do, how powerful they were, and fearless, respected and honored...and her love for him left them all in a cloud of dust...wonderfully depicted and great analogy.
And this one, after CHichi dies... telling Goku that she loves him. *GASPS*
"Goku heard those words whispered in the wind…as gentle at the summer breeze, filled with the passion of 46 years of marriage, tempered by love and pain, and seared into his soul with the love that filled it."
I loved that. beautiful, depicting how long they had been married, how much they had learned and how much they had loved...him hearing her words like the summer breeze was GREAT detail...I loved it, thats why I always add little stuff like that into my stories...I'm so glad to see you do too. This one tore my heart out. There it is...twitching on the floor. Oh well.
"The pain of emptiness settled onto his soul that night and remained there to this day."
GREAT way to bring the flashback to the present...I envy you. TRULY, I do. DESCRIPTION! What i love and too many authors lack that. If there was one thing I could leave for an author to go by it would be DESCRIPTION...and you have that here. *sigh, wipes tear*
I love how you bring Pan into this story, as a mother who now had a child...and talking about the dark brown skin makes us all wonder who she's married to...WONDER WHO? *Tenshi smiles knowingly as she recalls Gloria's favroite character* gee, I wonder who indeed...
and also, I like your dialogue. Some people find the play-type dialogue to be annoying, but it actually anhances the story's comprehension by leap and bounds, as we are not constantly wondering who is saying what. And I like the way you bring Bra into this story as the doctor...thats great. It really shows your innovative and creative side to not only marry Pan to someone no one ever pairs her with, but also leads an occupation for dadd'ys little princess to participate in, showing just how much time has passed.
the dialogue here made a sigh spring in my throat. Pan is talking to Bra telling her how Goku didn;t make life easy for Chichi,but that he loved her, and then Bra replies with this astoundingly accurate answer:
"You see that’s all that matters. Life wouldn’t be fun without hardship. Love is all that matters in the end."
Sigh, how accurate indeed. I need to take dialogue lessons from you!
Hehehe...and then you bring "prince Charming" into the scene suddenly, taking everyones breath away in a shocked gasp, lol.
"He didn’t really mean the face he gave Bra, he owed her more than his life…he owed her his soul."
Wow, great thoughts here. How much he loves Pan here is really made known, and thats great touch to this story, making it known how apprehensive he was about his wife's sudden birth.
"oh please! I’m not going to be one of those parents that every kid at school thinks is cruel!"
Pan's response to Ubuu here is so good,lol. Yet i know I am gonna be one of those parents, I just have to many good, creative and unnused names to throw away! Plus, tow of my kids are gonna be named in reference to DBZ...obsession, anyone? LOL, and if it aiont too much I plan on nicknaming one 'Goku' if not making that his real name. Why not? everyone knows I have issues anyhow...
I loved how they named their kid after CHichi and Goku, it was plainly sweet and extremely awesome. Also, I love the depicted friendship between Bra, Pan and Ubuu in this scene. really great, showing how close the three are.
I alos like the way Ubuu made Pan lay down in the backseat..something, once again many authors might leave out because they thought it unnnecessary, yet it makes the situation real to life as I ahve had many friends who have had this done to them because of illness. Great perspective in this shot.
I love your introduction to the four kai's.. absolutely awesome. Having each Kai to rule over something as strong as life...now THAT was introspective...as the other Kai's merely rule over quadrants and planets, these kai's actualy know you personally, dealing your life with pain and suffering, anger, loss and love. Awesome introduction indeed. Also, your description of Arakis was great.
I liked how Solitude is depicted as being reserved, while wrath is flamboyant...and how wrath feels that solitude's attitude and take on things are straight to the book and rule following...gives a great intro to come of both of their personalities.
"Ultimate Pain entered like a soft cloud, without noise and without seeming to move. Not a single ripple of his black robes betrayed this illustion."
DESCRIPTION ALERT! what a great detailed, in-deoth desription...SMILES WIDELY. hehehe, you know who to get my attention.. I know good detail when I see it and this one gets *f*i*v*e* stars!
I love how you so plainly incorporate Chichi and Goku into their talk, even though you don't come right out and sa it...and also how pain and wrath dopplegang on solitude, really shows him as the underdog.
I love how you illustrate their hold on Goku's life, as Soul has had him forever, and pain only got to him when Chichi died...it takes some readers longer than others to catch on to this deep concept, yet when you do, its amazing that somoene could think something this creative up! GREAT JOB!
"Solitude sat beside the pool willing it to work for him alone. But that was impossible, long ago when they were one, they decided to make the pool only work when at least two were present. It was a safety measure in case any of them became corrupted."
Another great perspective here! ahhhh! I wihs I had perception skills like that! Gee whiz! *LOL*
"Solitude smiled and silently thanked the magical pool, it seemed that that his brothers were not the only ones that could bend rules."
Ack! Great one to end on, leaving us in as much suspense as we came into this story with.
ALl in all, chapter one is one of the best chapters of all of them, I think, whereas ususally chapter oen is dreaded for most authors as the whole boring setting has to be established, but you obliterated that rule with this first and awesome chapter. KUDOS TO YOU!
I ahve no complaints at all with this chpater, great perspective, description, psycho-analysis and emotion all twaeked into one amazing first chapter. Only thing that I see that could be improved was every now and then a appear where a question mark (?) should be...but that's not important, as it is only what the story's conetnt is that makes it worth while.
GREAT JOB! I look forward to writing you more reviews, and I am going to read Spidermania to, because I ahven't read that one yet!
Sorry I couldn't write ya back tonight, once you told me you were on and didn't have too many reviews, I became indignant. YOUR ONE OF THE BEST OUT THERE! This story DESERVES recognition. And so I am going to recommend it to ALL my friends! your the one who really gave me the boost to write and urged me to do so, and I thank you, because now I realize I did have potential after all. Writing fics is REALLY a stress reliever...and builder *MAY WRITERS BLOCK BE DARNED TO HADES*
ANyhow, I love you and I'll write you later. God bless!