|Reviews for Saviors of Lylat|
| bryan mccloud chapter 3 . 2/2/2012
make tricky go hurt fox for a while when they arrived on sauria as punishment...lol...for not aiding them when they need him...lol.
maybe let him be a slave for the saurian tribes when everything is over for a period of time until they forgive him...hahahaha...
tricky will decide when he will be release from being a slave...lol.
| LegionsofHyrule chapter 3 . 2/1/2012
Wow, just wow, this story took a real good plot turn in chapter 3, I did not expect Panther at all in this story, I kinda thought the knowladge of him died off haha, and I see you wrote the story prior to the command ending where she left Lylat all togather, but I like what your doing with the story so far, I cant wait to read chapter 4 and see the conclusion to this chapter
| LegionsofHyrule chapter 1 . 1/29/2012
Nice story Alex, right away you have a good setting and plot.
I like aswell as to what cpt Fox (hope that is it) had to say.
He gave some good advice and my advice is work on this story to an extant, I bet several people have read this already and are waiting to see what is going to happen later on im going to also continue to ch 2 and 3 and I would also like to get around on our co-op story, I am pretty sure it will be a fun project
| bryan mccloud chapter 2 . 1/23/2012
yeah...listen to cpt fox...he is quite a good author...lol...
good chapter here...lol.
| Cpt.Fox chapter 2 . 1/23/2012
Dont listen to Hollaback Girl, a review such as that is only meant to troll and hurt feelings, I for one like this story and your style of writing. I cant quite place it but there's something about the way you use detail to dialogue that seems to work very well. As for including your own OC, i think you did very well and it seems to work.
Also I dig the Fox/Krystal thing you got going but that's just me being me lol.
Like it so far, ignore the flamers and keep writing, you've got something good here mate.
| bryan mccloud chapter 1 . 1/22/2012
don't listen to daniel's review...i find it contradicting completely.
his judgement is poor especially since the story is not one-shot story in the first place due to your summary.
so you got one OC in the story already...lol.
here is an idea or two or three or four:
1) add in star wolf (neutral)(you decide which side they will join)
2) andross is most likely the antagonist(it is stated that he is in another system)
3) might be some mercenaries who uses the venom flags to try to steal something from the katina base
4) make star fox do a number of missions that revolves around the lylat system and the system andross is being banished to
need more...you can pm me...
i don't see any grammar mistakes...lol...but that is my own opinion...
| Daniel chapter 1 . 1/21/2012
A well written piece, but for the ending you should've ended it with Fox's thoughts instead of your own input, assuming that there will be multiple chapters. If you want to end the novel here, then the ending is fine.
Good description overall, and good spelling, except on a few occasions. I encourage you to continue this story.
| justine chapter 1 . 1/21/2012
great job alex cant wait for you to contiue it