|Reviews for The War on Imagination|
| Guest chapter 2 . 1/25
Shit just got real.
| kage kitsune 14 chapter 2 . 10/16/2012
Awesome story. I can't wait to see where you go with it. Update soon.
| Abbl2 chapter 2 . 3/13/2012
this is a great idea with the villians and all. i'm actually writing one like it, but its more about revenge then imagination or knd. but please excuse my criticism now.
your writing sounds kind of childish, and you need to work on your sentance fluency. when you said somthing about it being a half an hour until she accepted the craziness of everything, i didnt see that in your earlier explination. speaking of that, she didnt seem too suprised at the beginning about talking to a centaur and other mythical creatures. try to edit that and make it a little more believable. I also didnt even know what the main charecters name was until the middle of the second chapter. i, too, have problems with discription, so i can see why that would be difficult.
your story is moving too quickly. try to add a little more detail in your transitions, or readers will get lost. and you're also throwing things at your readers where Diana understands it, but you didnt explain it, so it seems like it isnt relavent and she just completly made it up with no backround (like with dracula and voldemort). like i said, more detail is crucial. i didnt read anything about a maze until Brad mentioned it, but after i reread that part a few times, i understood the red queen/garden part.
the whole thing just needs to flow better. i applaude you for your usage of humor and characterazation (with Diana's personality, i still dont have a good idea of what she looks like) all in all, this could be a great story if you would take the time to edit it. i can see that you have potential, and i hope you will update soon cuz this is a good idea for a story. (my sister and i used to play a pretend game similar to this (i cant believe i still remember that)) good luck, and pm me if you have any questions about my review.
| Mauisse Flowers chapter 1 . 1/22/2012
I love this! Absolutely love it! It's mixing well and putting yourself in as first person helps keep everything in check and more realistic. And I laughed for a while when you put in that Hook was being a douche. Again.
Please put the next chaptewr up soon.