|Reviews for Love like You've Never Been Hurt Before|
| The Shadow Wolves chapter 1 . 4/24/2013
I don't mean to be rude, but do you even know that your whole writing format is wrong? Your character is a mary-sue, and I can already judge that from your summary. 'Top-rated, ass-kissing skills'? Really? You shouldn't do this every , single time . It's supposed to be like this: "every, single time."
Some punctuation are missing.
| tora-chan chapter 2 . 4/18/2013
Aawwthis story is so adorable!keep up the good work! :)
| Jaylea Nyx Felesian chapter 1 . 6/8/2012
So when I initially looked at your story it really perked my interest, the title does fit the character perfectly from what I've read so far which is only the first chapter and a paragraph of the second.
I can't say how extremely hard it is to read from all the run-on sentences. Your detail isn't bad but its just so hard to read. I have to say if you plan on continuing please try to watch how you structure your sentences as that is a very important part when someone reads what you've written.
Character build, while it is very cliche, can always be entertaining if you throw your own spin on it. I haven't been able to read the next chapter so I'm not sure if you've shown any of your character's past but please try to make sure and tell us exactly why she's so broken.
Besides the comma fest and run-ons I really can't find anything to point out besides the fact that after each sentence you have a space between the period/comma. Not sure if that makes sense of I'll show you. I have dogs . It could simply be that what ever program you use isn't completely in sync with FF or you did it yourself. Either way please try to watch out for that when you upload.
I hope this doesn't sound to mean as I'd love to continue reading if you're willing to fix these simple mistakes. Try your best!
- Jaylea Nyx