|Reviews for Fight to Survive|
| artephile chapter 24 . 8/19
This is THE Namek fic. I'm dying to know what happens with Frieza! Really hope you update.
| Sora147 chapter 24 . 5/15
Please, please, please! Do not leave abandoned this fic! Continue updating this beautiful and interesting history. I have unveiled reading me each of the chapters and truly want to know the final outcome. Please, I ask you again not to abandon this great story of my favorite couple.
| anonymous chapter 23 . 3/11
Loooooooooove it plz finish it! Don't abandon it you got talent ! Love the story
| Kinglongoria chapter 8 . 2/11
I think it's funny she daydreams about sunbathing on Earth during peaceful time conveniently forgetting that every few years she was in dire peril along with the rest of the Earth. But there were some lulls to all the danger I guess. But you can't gloss over the almost constant world crisis.
Shouldn't Vegeta be off hunting more often? Or some sort of Survival thing? They have to be getting short on food a month in. With his Saiyan appetite anyway. I know it's ambiguous how much food they have but the story is about survival and all. I know he trains that's stereotypical Vegeta. But I'm reasonably sure he'd be off hunting fresh meat than relying on noodles to eat.
| Kinglongoria chapter 7 . 2/9
So what does being a human male have to do with helping someone? I think that could have been worded better. Maybe something more closer to a male doing a favor for a pretty girl? I think that's what you were going for but it's not how it sounded.
Also him having to crouch to carry her makes little sense. Not that it wasn't interesting I'm not being picky about that. I'm just fairly certain Vegeta could lift her with one arm and still keep his is super strong remember. He could probably lift her with his pinky with ease. So it was an interesting if slightly unnecessary thing for them to do.
His reactions in this chapter make more sense and are more realistic. While it was silly for him get an erection at the mere sight of her, touching her is another matter. Being that close and doing things like that would drive him a little wild.
I am glad you dialed up the comedy in this chapter. You need a mix of light and dark chapters to make your story and effective roller coaster ride.
So I think it's a bit early to start with second chances and saying he's changing. Mostly because he's really not at this point. Showing another side to someone is not the same as changing. It's more like revealing more layers. Now I'm sure it will be more accurate later on when he does little things without noticing or complaints it will be far more accurate. But for now it's said it's rushed to say he's changing.
| Kinglongoria chapter 6 . 2/9
So her home was on Earth. I'm glad we finally got more backstory on what exactly happened. As you could tell it was bothering me. Only because I wanted to be sure about where the characters were and how they got there. That's all. I'm not really that picky once those questions are answered. And since it's an AU a little background is needed I think anyway.
Plus we found out it was Goku's ship. That would make more sense on why she had no idea where it was. I still wonder on what exactly happened to her ship. Or did it get destroyed like in the canon universe?
I'm actually a little surprised he didn't rip off a piece of dinosaur to eat later. Or perhaps eat it's heart in victory. Well maybe that last one is a little too far but the first seems more than reasonable they can't subsist on capsules forever, she doesn't have an infinite supply.
| Kinglongoria chapter 5 . 2/9
You keep referring to ending up in a gutter. It's an idiom and I get it, but Namek isn't an industrial world. They have no gutters. Wouldn't it be more accurate to say end up in a ditch? Just a suggestion.
I fell Vegeta should have been more torn about saving her. Sure he had one weird dream with her. But ignoring that he has probably survived worse in his lifetime without her help. And yes she has some cool toys but nothing that would prove useful to him in escaping just yet. So I would think he would more conflicted on whether he should waste the energy saving her or not. Also he probably would not refer them as a duo just yet. They hardly had any sort of team activities outside of meals to classify them as a duo. I think his final argument in her favor would be her potential. Something closer to "She might prove useful to me yet if given the chance." or something like that rather than just admitting she was a vital part of some non existent team.
So wait i'm confused. If Bulma had a spaceship, why wasn't her plan to make her way to the spaceship with Frieza gone? I don't know if it has a locator or something on it for her to follow, but even in the world we live in now GPS or some space equivalent would not be too far fetched to install on a ship. If it's not in working order that would make sense, they would have to scrounge for materials to fix it from the demolished Namek villages. But I feel like the spaceship should have at least made it's way as a possibility in Bulma's thoughts earlier. At least something like ditching Vegeta to go to the ship on her own. Since she was so uncomfortable with him before.
Also just because Vegeta couldn't read human writing doesn't mean he couldn't figure it out. I am sure he had to pilot many different types of ships during his career in the PTO and had to learn many different languages and writing. Surely those skills would have helped him now. Still it's a good case for retrieving Bulma. It's far easier to get someone who can read it than to learn a new language though it certainly would do him good to learn it.
Just wanted to point out that I'm unsure he'd be training all the time. I get why a lot of fanfics have him do it. Since during the three years it's assumed that's all he does. But that was only to become a Super Saiyan and catch Goku. Without that same need he would not train as much. Not say he wouldn't train, I'm sure it's a part of his daily routine and lifestyle as a warrior. But he is in survival mode now. His first tasks would be gathering essential materials to survive followed by doing what he can to escape.
Oh and now that she mentioned it, Where is the home Bulma is referring to? Just thought i'd ask. Perhaps she'll talk about more in the next chapter. I do write these reviews as I read the chapter. So she had no idea the space ship was there. So what happened to her original space ship if it's not this one? Well I guess that will be answered next chapter.
| Kinglongoria chapter 4 . 2/9
So where did she and Goku go Dragonball hunting if Earth doesn't exist? Not that it's a huge deal I'm just curious since it was mentioned.
You know I spent part of the chapter wondering how dinosaur would taste. I wonder if it's any good or not. We don't eat many reptiles in my culture. Maybe a few fringe elements eat frog and snake but that's about it. Maybe they taste more like birds since Dinosaurs are supposed to be closely related to birds. So maybe they taste like a a huge chicken.
Kinda weird they shared some sort of dream in his mind. So this is supposed to cause him to do what for Bulma I wonder? It feels a little rushed with some of the things he thought/felt. He's only known her a few days I'd say it's kinda rushed to go from "I don't care about you" to "please don't leave me". Building a relationship takes time. They have to do little things together to get past his shell. Like share meals, build fires, look for water, whatever really. The plot points on why they do little things don't matter so much as them spending time together. It just doesn't seem realistic to care about her at all really in the dream. Sure she's she pretty, but pretty wouldn't immediately make him more or less inclined to help her. He realistically has killed and possibly raped many beautiful beings in his time. Bulma would have to spend more time than she has the last few chapters to matter as much as he says to be any different than them.
| Kinglongoria chapter 3 . 2/8
I thought it was interesting she bothered to lock the door in the opening. It must just be for her peace of mind. A little thing like a locked door would not stop him. If he really wanted to violate her there is literally nothing she could do about it. Still if it makes you feel better lock the door.
So are we going to find out what happened on Namek? I mean we got that he friends are dead. Vegeta watched them die whatever cryptic revelation that was supposed to be. I do get the story is supposed to be about them surviving on Namek but a little background wouldn't hurt. Call me crazy but I'd like to know why they were all on Namek, seeing as how it has something to do with the plot. Surely they would exchange information at least by now on why they were both here and any materials they could scavenge in order to leave? Or would that be too logical at this point?
From what I've pieced together they were all on Namek (for some reason) and they all got killed or nearly so by Frieza. Vegeta seemed to be only nearly dead (or mostly Dead according to Miracle Max). If I had to venture a guess I'd say they were looking for the Dragonballs for whatever reason is still unclear or how they all learned about Namek in the first place.
| Kinglongoria chapter 2 . 2/8
So you might want to revise the medical procedure a bit. Mostly because it's inaccurate medically. Plot wise there is nothing wrong with it. But to anyway with even a basic course in medical terminology would know it's wrong. And some people are picky like that. It's actually close to a lancing procedure that is technically considered minor surgery but it's not done on contusions. Contusions are basically just bruises despite how big they are. It would be more accurate to have Bulma get a minor cut on her back that she never took care of and became infected. Just Saiyan! :)
Really he took one look at her and got an erection? That seems rather unrealistic. I don't know anyone that's ever happened to. Well I would say once male is outside of those awkward early teen years when you pretty much get an erection for no reason. I'm going to have to just ignore that part and try to not to let it bother me how outright unrealistic and silly that sounds.
Honestly you could have stuck with the undressing her with his eyes look he was giving her. That would have been more realistic and enough to convey the same thing without crossing into comically unrealistic trope territory.
Unless you were going for comically over the top top satire of romance tropes then good job. You even put a cold shower reference in there. Which is pretty crazy. Cold shower's aren't a real thing guys do. Not that I've ever taken viagra or any other crazy drugs that might need it. Still they aren't a real thing people do it's mostly a joke. Still if you were going for comic satire it's a quite good job considering all the over the top tropes you put in one chapter.
| Kinglongoria chapter 1 . 2/8
So I'm a little confused at the start. Does he know her from somewhere? How could he make more than one threat? Maybe you could leave a more detailed intro note on that.
It's actually a pretty good intro just a little confusing. Since it's not clear what exactly happened. But then again on Namek she was left by herself to guess a lot so Bulma wouldn't exactly know either. They just seems a little overly familiar at times when he is supposed to have just met her.
| xSapphirexRosesxFanx chapter 24 . 11/16/2015
UPDATE REALLY SOON
| Bangkok'sDevilGirl chapter 24 . 10/28/2015
I love it,well actually I love all of your are an excellent writer .Please update this one soon.
| Guest chapter 24 . 8/20/2015
Please update soon! :)
| tulsa chapter 24 . 7/19/2015
please, please, update soon