Reviews for Lily Potter's Biggest Secret
Guest chapter 4 . 5/21
Love it
IGOTEAMEDWARD chapter 5 . 5/21
WOW
Annoyed Guest chapter 47 . 5/9
It is a great story, but it isn't for me. I don't know if that makes sense. The conversations between characters were too stiff, it didn't flow naturally. The thoughts of the characters were also unnatural. I'll give you points for been discriptive, though you were too descriptive. The readers aren't dumb for you to go into complete detail about everything! Leave some things for our imagination to fill in. Thanks for sharing it with us!
BellaRoza98 chapter 8 . 5/2
This is my 4th? time reading this story, and I just got the Celestial DollarsStarbucks thing
Guest chapter 15 . 4/26
At this point in time, Emily serves NO purpose in the story other than to exude the "cousin Oliver" trope where the main characters are "too old" to be the "cute and innocent" factor so a new character is forced into the dynamic to fill the void. I'm sorry, but she is a bit annoying. She has no other characteristic other than to be "a goody-goody" and because you've given her a tragic backstory, it only implements this further, as if the readers are forced to feel sorry for her and accept her readily.

You've obviously given a lot of time and thought into the story, which is very admirable. Even more so that you finished the story! But I think you need to sit down and reevaluate what real characters, and real people would react to certain events. For example, as much as Harry admires Snape and no matter how close they've become, I don't think he'd call him "dad". This doesn't mean he doesn't see him as a father figure or that he cares for him any less, it's just that there us do much history between them and that "dad" is an abstract thought he reserved for James. Even if he views Snape as his father now, through and through, I think subconsciously, he still would hold that title for James.
Guest chapter 11 . 4/26
So far, I feel like the quality of the writing itself is very well-written. Your verbiage and syntax flow well together and it makes reading the story very enjoyable.

However, I feel like EVERY single character in the story (aside from Ron, of course) exhibits Mary-Sue qualities. This is especially true of the OC, Emily. Due to the overall "perfect characteristics" of all the charactericteristics, I feel like you've written Ron in the extreme opposite direction just to combat that.

I have trouble identifying with all the characters at this point in time because of how "perfect" they act when things don't go according to plan. I am sorry if I'm not making any sense. It's still pretty early on in the story (comparatively) so perhaps this will change as I read on.
r99smith chapter 47 . 4/20
great story - so glad I found it!
Ex's and Ohh's chapter 1 . 3/18
Hey, I have not yet read this, but I noticed you have 999 review so...voila you now have 1000!
Woo! Aha
Guest chapter 1 . 3/11
Very well written, I really enjoyed reading it so thanks :)
lena chapter 5 . 3/9
Im not even halfway through your story but im already loving it. Thank you for sharing this with us readers.
Guest chapter 16 . 2/10
you did fine with your "sex scene". The chapter is well done, and moves the story along. DO not worry about it. The story is a great read.
Martionmanswife chapter 9 . 2/9
wow, loss of profanity filter.. 10 points from Griffindor
Don't Trust The Silver Eyes chapter 47 . 1/24
This story has made me laugh more times than any other! Every detail was perfect, there wasn't one characterisation I didn't fall in love with :) Neville/Emily was just a treat and the Dramione love story was beautiful. I loved that the story wasn't just based on them and that you got to see all the characters move and interact with each other. The Rollings/Porter restaurant scene was one of my favourites haha! That and the elves. Your elves were perfectly written and their nature was projected very well throughout the story. I loved all the children's names and how loving Lucius was. An amazing story that has been recommended as soon as I finished and will be recommended for a long time after! Great work!
Don't Trust The Silver Eyes chapter 19 . 1/24
I am Hermione Granger you uncouth, ill-bred, dunderheaded woman,

Greatest line in history. I've loved this story so much!
Don't Trust The Silver Eyes chapter 12 . 1/24
I'm telling you it's ridiculous how much I've been crying in this fic! All happy tears you'll be glad to hear but it's verging on hilarious
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