|Reviews for My Angel|
| Yuri-esque chapter 1 . 12/1/2012
:O I liked it, but it was sad...
| BlacNight chapter 1 . 8/20/2012
Good story! Pretty well done.
Besides some minor errors, I was able to mostly follow it through the end. I have to say though, the bottom half of the story seemed quite rushed compared to what was written before it. And aside from that, you could've explored more in this story! Like going into Mio's feelings for Mugi and how she's her true love or instead of her cutting herself in front of the tombstone, show us how Mio dealt with it or something. But those are just suggestions, since this story does well on it's own.
| BuRiChiFaN chapter 1 . 2/3/2012
I love this pairing and i like the fact that people are starting to appreciate these two together. the story is ok though. XD
| Genki Collective chapter 1 . 1/28/2012
Interesting premise. It's a good story, and apart from some fast and loose treatment of verb tenses and other minor problems with mechanics, it's pretty well-written.
But it's not a great story, for three reasons.
First, I'm not feeling the connection between Mio and Mugi. I don't really get the sense of how Mugi was Mio's one true love, and how this feeds into her grief when she finds Mugi died in the plane crash. Also, I was confused as to how Ritsu fit into all this. Mio picks her boyfriend based on the fact that he reminded her of Ritsu, but she's really in love with Mugi? I found it confusing.
Second, the fight scene doesn't do it for me. You didn't sell it. A knife attack is one of the painful, terrifying things a person can experience. I have actually a knife pulled on me in a RL confrontation, and I have had a fair amount of training with Shocknives, so I know something about how awful such a confrontation is. I don't see the paralyzing terror and excruciating pain that the victim of a real knife attack would experience. And there is entirely too much introspection on Mio's part, something a person facing a knife will not be in the right frame of mind to engage in.
Third, the final third of the story feels rushed. It makes the pacing noticeably uneven in a story that started out well.
One final point: I usually jump pretty hard on people who ship the K-On! girls with male OCs. That's because the OC is usually a self-insert, and it's done in a self-serving and offensive manner. Here, it works. It's a case of Mio settling, since she could never have her true love, a love she never gave up on. Her first love was and remains another woman. So no issues from me on this.
All in all, a decent effort for something you just pulled off your hard drive. I can't help but thinking how much better it could be with some beta input and some aggressive editing.
| Tastychainsaws chapter 1 . 1/28/2012
This was a great fic, not perfect, but great. It was extremely engaging, and the narrative was able to pull me in start to finish. While some people will know doubt bitch about Mio having dated a man in this, I don't mind that little detail and hope other readers aren't so insecure that they hate this. People in this section are like this.
The story could have been a bit longer though, especially dealing with the events at the end. The beginning was paced well, and I liked how you didn't go into details about things we didn't need to know. We're given all the important details and it flows right into the exciting climax and aftermath. However, past that, I think the story would have benefited heavily had it explored Mio's feelings about Mugi more, especially after what she learns. It feels like there's a lot more you could have done with it, and that it was over pretty quickly.
Overall, that complaint is mostly personal preference. You did fine. Good story.