Reviews for Possible Manipulation
Rye-bread chapter 13 . 2/24
Whoa…he really did it? Ron killed Moriarty? Nah. You’re psyching us.

And Kim trying to kill Ron? The old gambit. I even have quotes

“I still have one more thing up my sleeve. Literally Self-destruct, baby. Every supervillain’s last resort.” Smytus, My Life as a Teen Robot, Escape From Cluster Prime.

“I’ll tell you what it is,” said Puddleglum. “That Witch has laid a train of magic spells so that whenever she was killed, at that same moment her whole kingdom would fall to pieces. She’s the sort that wouldn’t so much mind dying herself if she knew that the chap who killed her was going to be burned, or buried, or drowned five minutes later.”from The Silver Chair, by CS Lewis.

…even as Mara Jade, Darth Vader’s last disciple, tried to kill Luke Skywalker. We all know how well that turned out.
Rye-bread chapter 12 . 2/24
What can I say? It’s worth the buildup

It this what the Team Possible archenemy Moriarty is about? A galloping inferiority complex against Ron Stoppable? It seems so…petty. The most formidable criminal mind in the world, outclassing even Señor Senior, Sr., Dementor, and Monkey Fist…and he’s hung up on the kid who has a naked mole rat for a pet

Am going to get literary again. In CS Lewis’s Perelandra, there’s a character, a scientist, Edmund Weston, who becomes possessed of Satan or one of the minions, and seeks to provoke a Fall From Grace on Venus as the serpent did on Earth. He is described thus:

“…this creature was, by all human standards, inside out—its heart on the surface and its shallowness at the heart. On the surface, great designs and an antagonism to Heaven which involved the fate of worlds: but deep within, when every veil had been pierced, was there, after all, nothing but a black puerility, an aimless empty spitefulness content to sate itself with the tiniest cruelties…”

Tolkien, lewis, and spiritual writers of that sort would make this observation; just as a true saint who aspires to such exalted goals as compassion, purity, and fellowship with Infinite (and not a mere prude) would (hopefully) leave no small kindness in their power to perform undone, so a brute who feels his pride threatened would not refrain from the least cruelty in order to satisfy his spite.
Rye-bread chapter 11 . 2/24
It’s a hellacious thing, sometimes, this whole covert ops thing that even the Western democracies sometimes do. Paul Harvey, the famous radio commentator, God rest him, once mentioned that both the USA and Canada had plans for invading the other during WW1, when the political differences between the European combatants weren’t quite so clear-cut as they were in WW2.

And then about once every Presidential administration, something comes to light that’s extremely embarrassing…or scary, depending; the Watergate break-ins, the Iran-Contra affair, selling firearms to the Mexican drug cartels. One could almost call it Conspiracy Theory Porn…’cause when it happens, the nutcases totally get off on it. Google David Icke sometime, if you’re hard up for stuff to divert you. He’s one of the most articulate conspiracy theorists I’ve ever heard. He can really make you wonder…until you read further, or listen longer, and he drops who he thinks is really behind the British Royalty, the Masons, the Illuminati, and the Rothschild bankers…interstellar reptilians.

But this has nothing to do with your chpt…except to say that there’s a good deal of verisimilitude in what you relate. If I were the director of an international law enforcement agency with a mandate to serve and protect, and there were a teenage kid with such unmeasured abilities, I wonder what I would do.

Wade is very much emblematic of the Guy Fawkes / V For Vendetta / Anonymous wannabes who can bypass corporate and governmental firewalls easier than you or I can sometimes find our house key. The difference between him and them, though, is the rigid sense of conscience and ethics. I seem to recall Anonymous threaening reprisal against private citizens who had the gall to public insult them. Kinda like North Korea did recently.

A crazy world it is; we humble citizenry are in as much danger from the computer hacker with the arrested social development as we are from the dictator, the saboteur, and the assassin.
Rye-bread chapter 10 . 2/24
Some years back, when I had high speed internet, I would’ve began researching the viability of brainwashing techniques as soon as I read this chpt.

But now I’m in my frugal old age, and avail myself of the public library wi fi…usually parking in the empty lot after my night shift at the pizzeria is done.

I brought that up to ask if you’ve been likewise researching anything similar.

Actually, it’s all a moot point; it sounds realistic, which it the point in writing, whether its fanfiction or ‘real’ writing.

As an aside, I recommend seeing ‘The Manchurian Candidate,’ a Cold War suspense movie with Frank Sinatra, Laurence Harvey, and Angela Landsbury. It has some chilling scenes involving brainwashing. There’s also a remake with (I think) Wesley Snipes…which I haven’t seen.
Rye-bread chapter 9 . 2/24
Transitional chapters are necessary.

There’s a certain frustration to all this; Wade is working on a countermeasure against a tactic that Moriarty isn’t even using; and Kim is slowly succumbing.
Rye-bread chapter 8 . 2/24
Mrs. Load knows Kim by name in the Valentine‘s Day episode; wouldn’t she know Ron also?

Boo; hiss. I don’t know who to despise more; Moriarty or Betty Director and Will Du. (shrug) It’s equal opportunity. Our fanauthor colleague Sentinel 103 has the knack of portraying villains the reader just delights in loathing. It’s a melodramatic thing, and is dismissed by most writing and publishing professionals as chintzy. But the movie critics said the same thing when Braveheart came out.

And I remember seeing a PBS documentary on Tolkien’s The Hobbit away back in the 1980’s; a writer was on, saying how Tolkien’s mythos about basic good vs. evil was simplistic and outdated. It didn’t work anymore. And the thing was…this pundit was dressed to kill for the psychedelic era; afro hairdo, Pancho Villa moustache, big wireframe glasses, bright blue suit jacket with big lapels, bright red shirt with big lapels, and wide paisley print tie. And now a generation later, the dude’s wardrobe has long since hit its expiration date, and Tolkien shares fame with Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, Jane Austen, etc. as being among the most popular authors in the English-speaking world in history.

So, hey…go for it. Feed us, your readers, the stereotyped simplistic melodramas.

And new tangents have a way of sneaking in; your Geologically Slow fellow fanwriter knows all about tangents
Rye-bread chapter 7 . 2/24
There’s something about a master manipulative supervillain devoid of superpowers who works strictly off his intellect that is perversely fascinating; like Hannibal Lecter. And the fact that he has Kim sort of triggers the same gut reaction that something dastardly like Boko Haram taking the 200 schoolgirls hostage does…which, I guess is sort of a tasteless comparison. The fictional comeuppance of the villain is assured; the real life victims, though, are still unaccounted for these many months later, and the Mahometan terrorists continue to victimize, seize, and slay the innocent with impunity.

Hope you had fun at the Haunted House, btw.
Rye-bread chapter 6 . 2/24
Ramping up the action. Yes, am liking the twists and turns.
Rye-bread chapter 5 . 2/24
Sweet paddleboating scene. Kudos on the unveiling of the villain. I’ve yet to read your other Moriarty stories; an unjustifiable omission; if memory serves, you got the Fannie Award that year for Best Villain. But am familiar with Holmes’s most daunting adversary through a host of other shows and stories. Now the association with the dreams and Bortel’s burgled device falls into place. The literary Moriarty had quite the knack for psyching people.
Rye-bread chapter 4 . 2/24
Was thinking the last chpt that it seemed sort of micromanagerial that Betty Director would give every item that came into inventory from a supervillain’s confiscated stash the fine tooth comb; now see that it was germane to the plot.

A very ‘shippy moment with Kim and Ron romancing.

Agent ‘Mohl’…no doubt about it…had you not brought up the pun, it would’ve gone right by me.

And of course, the case isn’t even close to being ‘closed’ (my own pathetic attempt at a play on words)
Rye-bread chapter 3 . 2/24
Compelling questions concerning the mysterious clues. I have my own burning questions:

Isn’t Mr. Nylok from the Space Passage show, instead of the Captain Constellation show?

Would even soaking wet, would Ron’s headful of hair hold sufficient water to appreciably get Kim wet? It would seem like a slight flick of water would be the likely result. Kim’s marvelous mane, on the other hand, could hold an abundant amount of water when waterlogged.

BTW…if I were Ron, with a babe like Kim for a GF, I would absolutely stand still for whatever retaliation she might be disposed to unleash upon my person.

It does not go unnoticed that you gallantly refrain from gratuitous remarks of the ‘wet t-shirt’ variety; such a moment would not go unexploited on a plethora of fanart sites.

Facetious remarks aside for a moment, in all seriousness, I bring up a thought I just had; the readership demographic of fan-fiction; perusing the list of readers you thank for reviews, I think that, to the best of my knowledge, they’re all guys.

It occurs to me that certain literature is gender specific; am told that the majority of the readers of the Twilight books and Fifty Shades Of Grey (to be released in theaters Valentine’s Day 2015) are women.
Chpt 4
Rye-bread chapter 2 . 2/24
Regarding the comments Kim is bombarded with when she announces her 2-week covert mission; obviously her bros are the ones concerned with her absence and wouldn’t dream of being the ones to ask if they could use the Sloth.

Dr. Boatel’s disclaimer that his new device merely ‘plants’ the suggestion as opposed to compelling the compliance of the signal recipient is ever so reassuring.
Rye-bread chapter 1 . 2/24
Sure enough the teaser worked. It got my attention. Kim also might’ve been packing heat because the Bean-Eze doesn’t work quite as well as Ron thinks it does.

And since you describe the appearance of the femmes in such obvious detail, I’m sure you realize that you further tease the male readership by neglecting to mention what every testosterone-addled, fanservice-obsessed KP fanguy must be asking himself…was Kim’s ‘black shirt with sleeves’ a crop top?
studyofchaos chapter 15 . 1/28/2014
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Beckman chapter 15 . 9/3/2013
I knew it. Ron will have to watch his back for awhile. Brush up on your hand to hand skills. Lock up your knives. Buy a dog to test your food. Sleep with one eye open. Because it's going to be a bumpy ride.
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