|Reviews for I Hope We Could Meet Again|
| Umbree chapter 3 . 8/20/2013
Long time no see C: Do you still remember me? (Sorry, I haven't signed in, but still...)
Anyhow, just a quick comment from me. Like always, your plots are amazing! But... your grammar could be improved on. And it's wonderful that you acknowledge that. It really is. And as such, I'd love to give you some tips. Please listen? The part that I personally find most irritating is your use of past tense. Wait, that probably came out offensive. What I mean is that you don't use past tense properly.
"She just blew the candles a moment before. How could that action make her trapped in the super black and unending place and then suddenly flying in the mid air and fell from the height that was about thirty meters from ground into the cold water in the unknown place like this? Chyntia shook her head. It was definitely no logic. She must have knocked her head to something."
Let's go through this step by step.
"She just blew the candles a moment before." Though this could be better, it is by no means, wrong.
"How could that action make her trapped in the super black and unending place and then suddenly flying in the mid air and fell from the height that was about thirty meters from ground into the cold water in the unknown place like this?" A bit long, but as there's a build up of suspense, I find it acceptable. However, like I said before, past tense has been misused. So... we'll break this up further.
"Make her trapped"? Umm... I can't find a way to use 'make', and 'trap' in the same idea. However, I'd like to suggest an alternative: "trap her". With that, we get "How could that action TRAP HER in the super black..." Do you see what I mean? Probably not. I'm bad with explaining... Ahaha... Sorry.
But let's keep going. "...and then suddenly flying in the mid air and fell from..." Uhh. How do I put this? It is this kind of sentence structure that I find highly vexing. And it is because I love your stories so much that I want to help you improve. Let's introduce this idea: the sense of past tense is carried from the 'could'. The terms after that are all present tense, but they carry the idea of past tense because the first verb you used in that sentence is past tense. That is the limit of my abilities to explain, so I will provide you with an alternative instead. "How could that action trap her in the super black and unending place, and then suddenly SEND HER flying [in the] mid-air and [fell]FALLING from the height [that was] OF about thirty meters [from ground into the cold water in the unknown place like this]?" The words I put into brackets are those that I feel are unnecessary, or those that have been replaced. I hope that this was of some help to you, and I also hope that you'll keep writing your brilliant stories!
| Dia Newman chapter 3 . 7/19/2013
THIS IS REALLY REALLY GOOD PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEEEEEEASE\
| iHasRainbows chapter 3 . 1/2/2013
This is hilarious XD
Cynthia screaming :P Derp
| SpecialPikachu chapter 3 . 4/29/2012
Sorry lama ngereviewnya hehehe... ga nyadar udah di-update .
Btw, I love how you made the two characters from different world meet, very exciting. And the monologue is great too XD
Keep up the good work, my awesome writer friend XD
| Quiet Librarian chapter 2 . 2/7/2012
It's good! Write more chapters! Grammar mistakes are tolerable.
Pesan buat PreciousAll dan volt tackle
Ci, flamer yang tadi itu terkenal lho. Dia udah sering ngeflame banyak orang sampe sampe banyak forum yang ngekritik dia. Aku kaget dia gak di-ban. Frozen96Fantasy, saudara aku salah satu korban flamenya dia. Flamenya memang ada alasan, tapi kan itu ngejatuhin semangat orang. Terserah cici mau di block atau gak dipeduliin, yang penting semangat! (aku nulis ini pake bahasa indo supaya dia gak tau apa maksud pesan ini)
| SpecialPikachu chapter 2 . 2/5/2012
Hehe Chuchu's sentences are just adorable XD
Looking forward for the next chapter :)
| SpecialPikachu chapter 1 . 2/5/2012
Thank you so much my friend
I love this story, I wonder what will happen next.
My favorite part is the conversation between Pika and Chuchu, it's so interesting.
PS: Just ignore the flamer ;p
| Farla chapter 1 . 1/31/2012
[No one knew yet if elf and dwarf really exist. ]
Use the plural, your grammar is terrible. And yes we do.
[This story began when this girl wished, as her hands intertwined to be as one. She closed her eyes, breathing slowly. Her lips slighted apart as her voice sounding her wish. ]
Really, really terrible. Get a beta reader, this is an absolute mess.