|Reviews for Never Be Alone Again|
| Black Butler chapter 1 . 4/26
I love the story.
| Mukuro234 chapter 1 . 7/9/2013
Awe this was. Cute one
| ilovyaoi15 chapter 1 . 9/21/2012
OMG im so turned the fuck on right fantastic story
| Gabriel06 chapter 1 . 6/7/2012
I loved this story. You write extremely well and your depiction of characters is right on the mark.
Vulnerable Gaara is so cute.
| Angelas chapter 1 . 3/6/2012
This was cute. (:
But I must say, that's all it was. I read the review that is before mine, and I completely agree with everything he/she said. Your thoughts are.. too simple for now; you're just trying to grab a firm hold of your style.
Which is incredibly understandable.
I had to start reading a lot of books (published ones) so I could get the hang of all the different styles and 'voices' that authors out there use. When I felt confident enough, and felt as though I had a good grasp of my own 'voice' and style, I began to write and people liked it. So I would simply suggest that you do the same. :D Read all the books out there that are waiting to be read! It helps you flourish and bloom as an author.
GaaNaru is my FAVORITE couple in the series, even above SasuNaru. There just isn't anyone that understands Naruto like Gaara does. They're basically the same people, who bloom within themselves as companions.. and lovers, in our cases. ;D
You're doing good, and I know you'll get better and better through time! Your story was adorable, and I liked what you were trying to convey.
Good job, dear.
| Lunar Rayvenn chapter 1 . 2/11/2012
I hate to be the only bad review, but I have to say it. It wasn't as great as you may think.
Of course, it wasn't all that bad either...
The words are there, the story line is okay, but there's really no feeling to it.
I'm not trying to label myself as some know it all amazing writer or anything, because I know I'm not, that's just how I felt when reading this.
And honestly, your style of writing reminded me of how I myself used to write. Believe it or not, I've been writing fan fiction since about the time I discovered that I couldn't draw worth shit. So since I was around twelve. That's around four years, give or take.
I 'tried' to write my first lemon when I was fourteen. And I admit, after I read over it, I literally burned it, no joke. It was shit work.
That's what your's reminds me of. (Of course, mine was a tad bit worse than this...) But it seems like you're just trying to rush into it, and I mean everything, not just the sex. The whole 'feel' of the story clashes with itself.
It starts off really languid, but then you rush into the move. Your characters contradict their thoughts, like they're flip flopping thoughts and ideas. You practically preach of Gaara's innocence, yet "Oh my fucking God." is thrown into play.
And another thing... "This is what speech looks like." 'Not this.' "This is what yelling, or in some instances shock, looks like!" 'Not this.' Use correct punctuation, please. It gets confusing, even if you do use italics.
And when I read it, I don't have a feel for you. Whenever I read a story, fan fiction or professional, each and every author has their own 'voice', if you will. John Flanagan sounds sarcastic to me, James Patterson gives me this feeling of no non-sense humor. Heck, China Dolly, of this site, is like a freaking voice actor to me! Her 'voice' is constantly changing and it makes me eager to read another chapter or another one of her stories to find out if she's going to be serious, sad/depressed, fickle, or happy go lucky!
Your story gives me the impression that your still trying to find your 'voice'. Like you're writing for yourself still, and not for others.
I used to write really basic like this, but then I started to experiment with more exotic words and phrases and different styles. I studied A LOT of other different styles, whether it was google-ing POV's or reading from a variety of different authors.
And honestly, that's what I would prescribe for you. I found out what I liked and didn't like, what I could and couldn't do, and it helped me like nothing else.
I have a story sitting in Google Docs that is 53 pages long without sufficient breaks in paragraphs and 32,953 words. Unfinished.
I wrote this last year, and have been trying to edit it since then into something presentable. I haven't posted it yet, and may never post it, because I wrote it as I was settling with a style, so it's like a bunch of different styles all thrown into one story, jumping around and taking turns to show each's unique shittyness.
I think I could post it, and that it would do okay, but it's not
up to my standards. Not for same reasons as your story, but just as many. (Mostly because I was a total grammar Nazi and didn't put words like didn't or wouldn't together, so it sounded rather choppy and formal. And I had this strange obsession with commas... Sometimes, when I forget, I still have to force myself to not use so many commas...)
But the point is that your story could use quite a bit of work. Maybe if you went and found yourself a half decent Beta that pays attention to more than just spelling you'd be alright, and the two of you could work together to improve your stories. No offense if you do already have a Beta to use...
Oh, and please don't take this as a flame. I just couldn't help noticing the issues with your story. And trust me, the only I am actually telling you any of this is because there were a few points in your story that were actually written really well. It was like you had a totally random burst of the Successful Writer drug, and the it just wore off...
But seriously, this is Not a flame. I hate flames, and wish I could punch the authors who write them. Even if their flames are truthful and I was thinking the same thing. (It doesn't happen very often, but it still does occasionally...) Flames should never be written, and their writers should always be punched, spammed, then punched again... In the face...
| yugiyamisex4eva chapter 1 . 2/3/2012
awwww so romantic
| TigrezzTail chapter 1 . 2/1/2012
Nicely done. It was beautiful and sweet.
| gaaralover15 chapter 1 . 1/31/2012
omfg that was sooooo freaking good.
i so totally loved it. 3
| WolvesKey chapter 1 . 1/30/2012
Very sweet, gives a new perspective on their relationship-not that I'm suggesting there's more to it than brotherly/friendly love in the anime/manga, but that if they were to become something more, then I'm sure you've made a good example of how it could go...minus the 21st century technology and all XD