Reviews for The Life and Death of Jessica Sparrow
Lucia123 chapter 6 . 3/27/2013
Please update
Miss Galinda Upland chapter 4 . 8/5/2012
Update very very very very VERY SOON! PLEASE!
JustAGoose-Feather Quill chapter 3 . 5/10/2012
Well that last line was abit of a surprise, i mean it's so obvious and yet still surprising.

Great job. Well-written. I look forward to the next chapter.

T.T.F.N (Ta Ta For Now)

JustAGoose-Feather Quill chapter 2 . 3/7/2012
Great chapter. Well-written too. this chapter helped me to see the setting a lot more clearly. Great job. I hope you update again soon...

T.T.F.N (Ta Ta For Now)

JustAGoose-Feather Quill chapter 1 . 2/3/2012
Interesting. I hope you update soon.

T.T.F.N (Ta Ta For Now)

ThatSWguy chapter 1 . 1/31/2012
I can only assume this is after the first (?) movie. It's hard to gauge because if it was after the third or fourth then Will is the captain of the Flying Dutchman. Does she not know that? Is this an alternate tale where he is dead? We don't get enough of her thoughts to understand what is going on here. The reader who casually glances at this is going to be lost, it's as though you have created an intricate world that is in your head and you just want the reader to trust you that it will all come together. The sad fact is that most readers will read this story for a few lines, not have a clue why or what is going on and turn to the other piles, and there are piles, of Pirates fanfiction out there.

I'm going to praise you for something that interested me and that was your use of describing background noise, more appropriately put the crewmen answering Barbossa. It functions to illustrate the world to the reader, it's not just the captain talking while everything else is in the dark, other pieces are moving. This occurs only twice, with the aforementioned exchange and describing the murmurs rippling through the crew when her name was spoken. But these two well done events are overshadowed by what is frankly a confusing scene inside of something that can be wonderful. If you let it expand in front of the reader, give them small pieces that add up, you will be successful in creating, along with the reader a story that they feel involved in, rather than shouting "Isn't this cool!" as you hold the picture too close to their face for them to see what else needs to be seen.

I don't mean this to discourage you, you have talent, and with the proper work this can be something truly interesting. Never be afraid to slow things down, let your character observe the world. She didn't see an island off in the distance, a light morning fog rolled back just enough to glimpse a spit of land in the distance, the sight of which seemed to invoke a chill in her bones.

Overall I would give it a 2/5, not the worst I have ever read by far (just search "Yu-Gi-Oh" and you will want to vomit) but there is definitely work to be done.