|Reviews for Last Strands of Childhood|
| Whatcomestomind chapter 1 . 6/10/2012
Wow, just, wow.
Obvious why you were chosen. Very, well done.
| SailorN chapter 1 . 3/23/2012
Congrats! Simple but very powerful. I can see why it was chosen. Thoughts of continuing?
| Shadow of Light chapter 1 . 2/13/2012
This was really, really good! As well as the comparison between the spider and the mage (I wonder if she *will* wish she's something less terrifying later in life...), along with the clever title, this story kept my attention and interest all the way through. I swear I even misted up a couple of times, because I'm such a sap when something sad happens, hahah.
The detail of the robbery was perfect, not too much. A drawn out chase would have spoiled it, I think, and there was enough tension in what was there. The mother's sadness and distress were also excellently done.
Little details like the dust sifting down as the templars walked above really stood out (in a good way, of course :)).
I noticed that none of the characters have names, which feels unusual, especially for the main character, but I didn't realise it until now. It worked!
The *only* concrit I can think of giving is the use of the word 'mechanical', and only because it's hard to think how an elven girl would know the word-especially in a place like Kirkwall where there seem to be no real machines. It didn't bother me much, just stuck out. Maybe mobile armour or animated armour, or metal golems 'like in the dwarf stories'? But a small thing. :)
Excellent story! Glad I finally got to reading it :D Congrats again on winning the competition-well deserved. :)
| Tryynity chapter 1 . 2/8/2012
Extremely well done and congratulations. I loved this from start to finish :)
| purebredcorn chapter 1 . 2/6/2012
Your story was very moving. Thanks for sharing.
| KdraManga chapter 1 . 2/5/2012
Your writing has a sense of elegance and your story has great emotional pull to it. Great job!
| Ghanima9 chapter 1 . 2/3/2012
I'm normally too shy to comment on other people's work, but I had to here. You clearly write from the heart, and you made your panicked and confused little girl and her terrified mother real to me. Their fear, and the way they wanted to fight but couldn't, not really, was beautifully honest. Multilayered, fluid,
and genuine - all words I would use to describe this story.
Congrats on a win well deserved, Kilyra! Will be reading more of your work.
| Solitae chapter 1 . 2/2/2012
Really lovely, especially contrasting the templars. The whole thing was so emotionally vivid 3
| artemiskat chapter 1 . 2/2/2012
Wow, what a wonderful story. Congratulations on winning the grand prize! It is definitely well deserved. This was the part that hit me the most:
"I kept studying the spider. If it had the chance to be something else, would it take it? Would it lose the power to craft so much from strands of its own creation just to be something less feared?"
Very clever of you to compare being a mage to being a spider. I never thought of it that way. Well done, and congrats again. )
| Brynneth chapter 1 . 2/2/2012
Gratz Kilyra! This was well done, and first person is hard to write! Great job!
| Bethadots chapter 1 . 2/2/2012
Fantastic stuff, beautifully written - I can see why Gaider picked this. Congratulations Kilyra!
| Epiphany sola Gratia chapter 1 . 2/2/2012
I really liked your spider analogy and how you used it to frame the story. It was a nice touch.
| Suilven chapter 1 . 2/2/2012
I love the way you've woven the spider theme throughout the story and you did a wonderful job capturing the tension, anguish, and fear that the girl and her mother were experiencing. The templars were extremely well done, too. Congratulations!
| Sagacious Rage chapter 1 . 2/2/2012
This is so good! I wasn't planning on reading it when I did but once I started I had to finish. I LOVE the parallel between the misunderstood spider and the misunderstood mage. The good cop/bad cop act of the templars (I wonder if that was on purpose or just something they did naturally?) Her mother's reaction. Everybody's voice was so clear even though nobody was named or described. It was all beautiful. So much story you fit in so little a space!