Reviews for Second Beats
LinaRiceball chapter 1 . 2/9
This was wonderful.
I think you captured the essence of the characters perfectly, and the story you had fabricated with all their emotions and words was absolutely captivating. I read all the way through to the end. Beautiful job.
Thank you so much for sharing this story with us. I'll make sure to favorite, and perhaps read thi again every once in a while. I really liked your message as well. Very in-depth, and I hope others understand as well what you were trying to portray.
ZeronosVega chapter 1 . 7/21/2014
This story was nothing short of incredible and I'm happy that you could turn a bad ending into one which could possibly be stronger than the canon good ending. What I enjoyed most about it was Hanako's strength of character and her resolve to finally stand up to Lilly and Hisao. Moreover, it gave Hisao a new perspective on people and not necessarily judging those by their outward personalities; that there's far more depth that you have to be willing to see.

While a previous review complained about Hanako taking the initiative with resolving her issues with Hisao, I feel they were missing the point of what she was trying to do in proving her strength to him. While I do agree that it was his duty to apologize for his mistakes, and he does, her becoming more talkative and breaking out of her shell was to show Hisao though example that she didn't need his White Knighting or Lilly's parenting. It was her revenge, as she so put it. That's my interpretation at least.

Anyway, I feel you did a good job with getting across the idea of second chances. I certainly support the belief, though I would be lying if I said I always subscribed to it as well as I should. It would have been lovely to see this story taken a little further to see how exactly their relationship mends and (hopefully) strengthens. Also, it's a travesty that there are not more reviews for this! Thanks so much!
King of Beasts chapter 1 . 6/9/2014

*ahem*. Anyway, Just wanna say that this was a good read. Am glad that TV Tropes brought me here, and I hope to hear more from you soon.

- K.O.B
Markus Ramikin chapter 1 . 5/21/2013
I enjoyed this. Even though I dislike it when Hisao's heart attacks are used as a vehicle for the progression of the relationship (that's the only thing I didn't like about Lilly's route, come to think of it).

Also, I'm no medical man so maybe it's ignorance speaking, but I didn't buy "We didn't see the need to move you to a real hospital" after a heart attack. Who's "we"? Nurse felt qualified to make that decision? After a /heart attack/, not a mere flutter?

They both visible relax - visibly

"Fussing over people I care about is in my nature" - I always cringe when characters resort to reading out their own character sheets.

But those little things aside, I liked it.
sephirothxxx chapter 1 . 2/26/2013
I have some problems with the portrayal of Hanako, but I generally thought it was good. By the way, I am extremely over-critical, so don't be upset over my criticism. It's mostly me exaggerating. You executed the parts I say I enjoyed very well and I hope you continue making KS Fan-fictions.
Here is what I enjoyed:
1. Despite the fight, Hanako still proved that she cared for Hisao when she carried him back. This seemed very in-character and was very moving.
2. The fact that they do forgive each other.
3. Lilly's opinions after the fight and forgiveness. Maybe a bit too lenient for Hisao but understandable in the context that their relationships were saved.
Here are my concerns:
1. Hanako is far too talkative. She takes the initiative way too much and seems to warm up to Hisao even before they talk over what happened at their fight. I understand that you wanted the forgiveness to be a two way street, but this could have been executed just as well without Hanako taking on such a talkative nature suddenly.
2. Hanako takes the initiative in healing their relationship. Hanako had legitimate arguments as to why she should hate Lilly and Hisao, all of which she seemed to forgive before Hisao even tried. It was Hisao's job to go and say 'I messed up, I treated you wrong, I hope you will accept my apology and if you do I will never treat you the way I did again.' Before he even began to ask for her forgiveness, they were out eating lunch and talking days after Hanako said she hated Hisao more than anyone. I know that I'm nitpicking, but it just seemed out of character at this time in the plot.
3. Ended a little earlier than I would like it have to. You might as well take that as a compliment, it means I wanted to read more. From here, I would go about continuing the story by having Hisao slowly trying to improve his relationship with Hanako and eventually show her his scars. For me, this seemed like the key action required by Hisao to improve their relationship: it signified that he wanted to be and was Hanako's equal, allowing her to realize that Hisao wanted to be just that and not some white knight to save her. It also was what triggered Hanako to begin the showing of her own scars, because A: she felt comfortable now as his equal and B: she didn't want their relationship to regress to the white knight stage, where Hisao could be her emotional support while still dating other girls.
If this connected the dots from the bad ending to the showing of either characters scars (either way resulting in the good ending), I would have liked it more.

Don't get me wrong, I still loved the story and think you should continue as a writer.

TL;DR: Hisao needed to take more initiative, Hanako less, and the plot would have benefited from a connection to the showing of Hisao's scars.
Theralion chapter 1 . 10/7/2012
I've always found Hanako's bad ending to be an interesting one, since it doesn't explicitly say Hisao never sees her again (Emi's bad ending), or suggest something separates them (Lilly's bad ending, Rin's "neutral" ending and presumably her bad ending, and possibly Shizune's bad ending, if you count graduation). Hisao seems to be the type to learn from his mistakes, thus making it possible for them to reconcile, and it's nice to see one possibility play out here.

Another good part was Lilly being confronted with Hanako's belief that she's pitying her, although if you make both correct decisions, Lilly will say she has been overprotective of Hanako in the past and has tried to change her behavior on that regard. In this sense, it's nice to see this fic extend past Lilly's return.

I would have liked to have seen how Hisao deals with Iwanako's letter here; in the good ending, he considers writing a response, but never gets around to making a decision, and it seems to be one of many things he puts off to care for Hanako.

In general, it's a good story that nicely explores how things might go between Hanako and Hisao.
KekiAiKohi chapter 1 . 9/1/2012
I like this ending than the other one since I do not believe that their relationship can end that easily. There's always second chances and when you love someone, you wouldn't quit on them so quickly.
Good job on this story! Have a lovely day :3
leonardchurch813 chapter 1 . 7/16/2012
Free137 chapter 1 . 6/21/2012
PLEASE WRITE MORE! that was great, make more chapter's please!
Cyberchao X chapter 1 . 6/13/2012
Damn, that was wonderful. Only checked this out after reading Herringway's "Bedside Lullaby" and seeing this credited as the inspiration for it. Absolutely wonderful. Love seeing Hanako's stronger side, and that Freudian slip was priceless. And Misha actually manages to be not annoying, which is a rarity-although that could in large part be because I haven't read many fanfics that feature her terribly strongly and so my feelings towards her are mostly based on the canon. ;D Great stuff.
Eric Alost chapter 1 . 3/26/2012
This story is phenomenal, and highly believable, too.

Would you mind if I wrote a minor drabble, based on a possible future for Hanako and Hisao based on this fic?
TheannaTheWhite chapter 1 . 3/9/2012
Very well done! I certainly hope you do some more KS fics in the future.
jammiexdodger chapter 1 . 2/29/2012
Was a bit surprised at how good you made the bad ending look. I noticed a couple of misplaces letters, but nothing to retract from reading the story. And plus, it was just kinda cute. Good job. _
nikkilittle chapter 1 . 2/19/2012
This is more smoothly written than some of the commercial short stories I've read in Harper's. I really like how you managed to make the bad ending merge into the good ending - minus the sex scene. You have the characterization down perfectly - Misha especially well.
studdevil chapter 1 . 2/14/2012
I really want to thank you for writing this! Hanako's sad ending was so heartbreaking, I myself wanted to write a follow up to it similar to this.

Your version was definitely better than what I would have ended with, though! The heart attack is a great catalyst to get them talking again, and hearing how she carried him so far on her own made me tear up.

It could have been longer, giving them more time to figure each other out and make up. The confession scene would have felt less rushed, but I did want to see a happy ending for them. Thanks for the feels. :)
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