Reviews for With You by My Side |
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![]() ![]() ![]() I really have to stop here... the constant hand-holding and hugging is a bit weird. The idea that these 2 little kids (11 years old) are so smart they can come up with theories that an expert (McGonagall) has just "never" considered is just ridiculous. The flying on separate brooms while holding hands was ridiculous and I almost stopped there. The other major issue is your grammar and punctuation. You said that you are a biologist and have studied physics in the beginning of this chapter... I honestly find that harder to believe, that someone as highly educated in college as you can barely write with readable grammar and have such awful punctuation. Clean this up and it could be a good story maybe if it wasnt so over the top ridiculous, with poor grammar and punctuation. I'm giving up here. I wish any future readers better luck than me. |
![]() ![]() ![]() loved the fic thanks |
![]() ![]() More story, less theory. Dissertation of fictional theory is not captivating read IMO |
![]() ![]() ![]() wtf does gryfindor have to do with improving the world. honestly slytherin would be better with their. ambitions or even hufflepuff |
![]() ![]() Wow, what a story! I enjoyed every moment of it. Thank you so very much! I will definitely look for all your stories. |
![]() ![]() ![]() There are several problems with the descriptions of the rituals. A wikiup is an Apache home, and would not be used at a multi-tribe gathering. It is illegal for anyone not registered with a recognized tribe to own anything made with an eagle feather. The fines and penalties are heavy. No tribal elder would gift an eagle feather to an outsider. Those are very, very minor nits in an otherwise very well written story. It would not have been mentioned except that your author’s note cited fictional works including the truly offensive and unrealistic Louis L’Amour works as your source. He and Zane Grey created much of the mistaken mythology of the American west, so beloved in Hollywood, and very, very far from fact. |
![]() ![]() Not 2000s 1990 I was there |
![]() ![]() ![]() I love this story |
![]() ![]() Please stop with the ridiculously long boring dissertations on theory. You have a good plot, no need to pad your story with such drivel. I'm thinking of just skipping to the last 3 chapters to avoid the long dull sludge. |
![]() ![]() So it's for detection, not a ward buster? If Voldie and his merry men, or really any hooligan got a device to break wards, security is compromised and thievery and worse mayhem ensues. Excellent story. Thanks |
![]() ![]() ![]() Like Firefox, Hermione is a search engine. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Are there chapters missing from this, we see a note asking for help and cut to them all sitting down reading the news, and in the next chapter they are censuring Nott for an attack that is never shown. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I appreciate the attempt to tie magic into science, but Dumbledore casually conjuring a chair doesn't really work with your earlier assertion of it requiring air. I'm not even sure if there's enough air in a room to transform it into furniture, but at the very least I'd expect it to create a large pressure differential which would result in a large amount of wind from air rushing to fill the now empty space. This definitely would've been noticed over the centuries. I also find it weird you're advocating for no sex before marriage, but then also pushing 11-12 year olds into relationships. I think it'd have gone better if you'd just stuck with the friends and handholding for a while and left off kissing and romance for later in the story, especially if you're the sort that believes in no sex before marriage. Why not just go slow? |
![]() ![]() ![]() I was hoping for another house. We'll see how this go. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I don't know about anyone else, but the Kuahee sounds a whole lot like a crumple-horned snorkack. |