Reviews for With You by My Side |
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![]() ![]() ![]() How sweet their innocence mixed with their mature outlook of the world because of their intelligence |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow a not so bad relatives |
![]() ![]() ![]() The portal between 9 and 10 would be for muggle born and raised. I’m of the opinion that the Weasleys were there to help Harry. There has only been one portal, so how could Mrs. Weasley not know the number. I don’t really know if there is a floo or not, but I can’t see purebloods being around muggles. Also can you imagine the number of people going through that one portal? The secret would be out. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I really wish you didn't shorten O.W.L and N.E.W.T. like you did. it confused me and made me stop to try and figure out what O. and N.E. stood for before realizing you shortened something that was already shortened. |
![]() ![]() ![]() "L |
![]() ![]() this is so wrong in so many ways snape should dislike harry lol |
![]() ![]() ![]() Use your contractions! I'm not sure I've seen a single example of you using contractions up to this point. Nonfiction writing like essays should never use contractions as you have done, but this is creative writing in the fantasy genre. By not using them, you've made the writing sound strange and I find myself cringing quite often, especially with the dialogue. No kid or adult, no matter how "smart," is going to not speak using contractions. Contractions just make things feel so much more natural... because they are natural. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I can't finish this as the characters are just too OOC for my tastes. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow! Very different life for Harry. Petunia at least seems somewhat nicer. I wrote that after reading just the first part of this chapter but after reading all of it, even Vernon seems much nicer! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Damn just damn. That was fast... Damn |
![]() ![]() ![]() Quick Question: How in Merlin are the Dursleys is not a bullying git!? |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hey man loved the story and this chapter especially. I hail from the state of Kerala, India and have gone through ayurvedic treatment after an accident. Had backbone compression and nerve damage that had me bed ridden for more than 6 months. It's wonderful to see old padfoot off to get the same treatment |
![]() ![]() ![]() Just a minor note here but Cedric Diggory didn't become captain until 1993 (the same year he became prefect). Not saying that Hufflepuff couldn't have won, it simply wouldn't be Diggory who would leading them. |
![]() ![]() Lol, when Voldy comes back and has no followers and is broke, it’ll be pretty funny. |
![]() ![]() I always hated Ron x Hermione. I also disliked Harry x Ginny and always felt that Harry x Hermione (though predictable) and Harry x Luna was better. They’re the only three that really make sense for him in the books but in FanFiction, I’ve got a few other pairings I prefer as well. |