|Reviews for The Long Night|
| Shawna9301 chapter 1 . 12/9/2013
This was excellent!
| nepalipranshu chapter 1 . 9/9/2012
I can totally see why Edward would be mad at Charlie now that I have read this story! Great job :)
| Gingerandgreen chapter 1 . 5/19/2012
Well hi again, Cassandra - I didn't realise you were an author. I had to come and see. I loved your take on Edward, it was very true to Meyer's Midnight Sun. I especially liked the assistance from Alice and Jasper, although I'm not sure how Jasper would have gleaned all that information from reading Bella's emotional state. But still, that was inspired. I really loved Edward's thoughts about Charlie and Renee, too. I always think Charlie gets away with a lot - too much. Probably because he's played by Billy Burke in the movies. ;)
I'm looking forward to reading more when I have time.
Take care, much love,
| abbyweyr chapter 1 . 2/20/2012
Sherryola sent me over. This was amazing. Well written. Edward all over the place emotionally which seems correct. Loved his conversations with Alice and Jasper.
I do disagree with your characterization of Charlie in this. He seems far too honest to manipulate the situation as you propose. Bella, Edward and Jacob are the ones that manipulate each other. They know each other well enough to know buttons and push them for their own ends.
Billy and Charlie were at odds over the tribal superstitious behavior, so unlikely they would have worked together as you propose to get Jacob and Bella together.
Charlie loved and cared for his daughter. Did he show it? infrequently. He was grateful for her efforts around the house, which would not have included finances with Charlie. Did he show it or say anything? infrequently. If he had known more he would have tried to protect her better.
I don't think he disliked Edward as much as you have in this story. He saw what Bella was like when Edward left, when with Jacob and when Edward came back. He didn't like it, but he knew she was happier with Edward. His concern for that relationship was well based with two trips out of town due to Edward and Edward leaving her in the forest. But again he noted the difference in Bella with Edward and with Jacob.
Charlie's reaction to Jacob's first kiss and Bella breaking her hand was not appropriate. That is a justified anger point for Edward against Charlie. The rest of his anger toward Charlie is perhaps justified within the context of your story. Though if Charlie was that bad toward Bella and Edward did nothing, I'd be upset at Edward for leaving her in that situation.
I think I've rambled on long enough. It was an interesting read. Thank you for sharing a very different Charlie and some insight to Edward's night for this event.
| 1853kaz chapter 1 . 2/20/2012
Hmm, there was probably a lot of emotion Edward was keeping under wraps, this time and others. So complex! The key to his attraction for me. Thank you for the insight. :)
| Igoogleeverything chapter 1 . 2/4/2012
really good story in Edwards pov. I also didnt like the way charlie handled the whole situation. And I do not believe you can love two people at the same time. Well done :)
| ladylibre chapter 1 . 2/4/2012
A great writer makes you feel something, something palpable, something true.
You, my dear friend, are a great writer.
I’ve said as much before, but I say it now from a different perspective because as I read this fabulous one-shot, I began to feel a surprisingly strong sense of loyalty to Charlie.
Allow me to explain.
Charlie’s reaction to Jacob’s kiss was entirely wrong. I shudder to think what my father would have done had I ever come home with a broken hand because I punched a boy in the face who had kissed me without my permission. I think he's more than a litle biased toward Jacob.
But as far as Charlie can tell, Edward is no good for his daughter—she’s left town twice because of him (in less than twelve months), and she nearly lost her will to live because of him. He left her in the middle of a forest, for goodness’ sake! Charlie’s a cop—he thinks Edward is a bad seed, and based on the evidence he’s privy to, I can see why.
Jacob, on the other hand, is the son of an old friend. He was there for Bella, helped her heal and smile again when nothing else and no one else could reach her. Charlie doesn’t have all of the facts, so his opinion is slanted. But given that he knows his daughter has feelings for both of them, he’s hoping that she will choose Jake, as he seems to be better for her.
And I see that juxtaposed against the parental stylings of Carlisle and Esme, Charlie and Renee are total deadbeats. But I do think Charlie loves Bella, even as much as she makes decisions he doesn’t understand, and Edward’s anger toward him is a bit heavy-handed.
But please don’t get me wrong because I LOVED this one-shot. I loved the Alice and Jasper of it all, how they helped Edward pull his head out of his a$$ long enough to realize that Bella does love him. And Edward’s reaction to her when she woke up the next morning was exquisite. I truly felt his pain, confusion, and helplessness. And the moment when the truth dawned on him….
"And, finally, that last niggling doubt faded away into nothingness…"
Edward’s range of thought in this one-shot was simply staggering: varied, contradictory, yet somehow all true. And I was gobsmacked (as you say) that he actually thought of leaving Bella again. Really, Edward? Have you learned nothing? Thank God for the Brandon-Whitlocks’ clairvoyance and empathy…I don’t know how Edward would make a right decision without them!
I loved the Cullens’ loyalty to and concern for Bella’s heart also. One could easily think that they would only want her to choose Edward and care nothing about the rest of it. But they sympathize with the pain she’s feeling about Jake. That is the essence of love…
…and totally not what Charlie does.
So I do understand why Edward views Charlie the way he does. But whenever I think of Charlie, I see that scene from BD when Bella asks Charlie not to let her fall down on her way down the aisle, and he says, “Never.” I see that look in his eyes, feel that love he displayed, and because of that, it was difficult to read this characterization of him without cringing.
Man, I almost feel bad leaving this review because I wouldn’t want anyone to think that your story was anything less than stellar. Quite the opposite! As I said at the beginning, your ability to tug at my heartstrings is astounding. I’ve never had such a visceral reaction to a one-shot (or any fanfiction, for that matter), and that reaction is based solely on how well you described Edward’s anger toward Charlie.
And truth be told, if Edward did tolerate an unfeeling, selfish Charlie, then he would be a monster and in no way deserving of Bella. His feelings toward Charlie, although I didn’t agree with their intensity, made me love Edward even more than I already do.
See? Even when I don’t agree with you, I still love what you do!
As I said…you, my dear friend, are a GREAT writer. Thanks for sharing this amazing one-shot with us. PLEASE write some more one-shots or two-shots or half-shots or whatever your pen desires to create. I want it all! :)
Love you lots!
| Natalia Mazaur chapter 1 . 2/4/2012
Um ... ow.
I think I need a hug after that.
Where do I even start?
First and absolutely foremost, I completely *adored* the way in which you handled Charlie in this. Whether you got the idea talking to whomever here on FF, or it just popped into your head, I throughly enjoyed the way you wrote this. When I was reading Eclipse for the very first time so many years ago, I was completely *gobsmacked* at the way Charlie was responding to what Jacob was doing. As protective as Charlie sometimes was, I just couldn't believe that he would joke around with Jacob about kissing Bella against her will, and even *encouraging* it. It completely infuriated me that he would risk his own daughter's safety, simply because he wanted her to date someone else. As much as I like Charlie, I have *always* been angry at him for the things that happened in Eclipse. ALWAYS.
And I equally loved the way you wrote the scene when she comes home and talks to Charlie for a minute. I always felt that he was angry with her - not Jacob, nor Edward, really - during that scene. That he was mad that she didn't do what he wanted. So that's always been prickly under my skin. I was wondering how you were going to do that moment, whether you were going to touch on Charlie's anger, or if you were going to play him off as a bumbling blind idiot like some people do. I loved the way you did it. :)
And I *really* liked the way you showed the difference in the Cullen's way of loving Bella, versus her actual parents love towards her. It was very warming to see the true love, acceptance and sense of *family* from the Cullens to Bella, and frightening to see the way Charlie and Renee blatantly ignored her and her needs. It was really well done.
It was fantastic to see the way Edward went back and forth with himself over hating Jacob, and then hating *himself* for the way he practically pushed Bella into Jacob's arms. That's quite the task to take on, and you did it flawlessly, with just the right amounts of guilt, self-loathe, fear, and over-whelming love. Brilliant!
I was really surprised that Edward thought about leaving again. That knocked me off my feet, though I could totally see him doing it. Our boy Edward sure does skip out a lot, doesn't he? His heart is in the right place, though. (Even if his brain is completely vacant. :D
I really liked that you put Alice and Jasper in there with them when Bella was crying. That was really nice. I liked that they could not only help Bella, (whether she knew it or not) but also help Edward and reassure him, too.
When Bella woke up had me in tears. It always makes my heart flutter when I read that scene in the original book, but reading it through Edward's eyes was so incredible. And equally heart-breaking. There is just something that gets to me when I read about Edward finally believing that Bella truly and honestly loves him, and his reactions to that knowledge. It's just beautiful. :')
Seriously Cass, I loved it. This being your first super-lengthy one-shot, I must say it was fantastic. If this is how you're going to do them, I see a long future ahead of you making them. (If only you could get paid for making Twilight fanfiction!) Now I really wish I voted for *this* as Best One-Shot on the award thingie. Do you think they'll let me nominate you twice for the same category? XD
Super freaking incredible. I can't stress that enough! So now I'm going to swing over to Wattpad and spread the votes and love, and to see which cover you chose. (Though I have a feeling I know which one you picked.)
Talk to you soon, hun! Love ya lots!
| kity moon priestess chapter 1 . 2/3/2012
Hi there! I have never really taken so much thought into Charlie's vision of things when it comes to his daughter but after this i do realize his selfishness is quite bemusing.
Its a lovely story and in all it does fill in quite nicely for the original plot line following Edward's personality. The narrative is flawless and it has a steady rhythm that makes it easy to read.
I loved it!:D
Ps. I hope that maybe you'll do another one some day!
| Team Edward Rules All chapter 1 . 2/3/2012